Ours
by CrazyRach
Summary: To be heda is to be alone.. Good thing Lexa ignored Titus. Now she has everything. Peace, love, and a restless pregnant girlfriend. But nothing comes easy when you're Heda. Clexa non cannon that's fluffy (and agsty) to hell. **Requested from my prompts story and also posted on ao3 by me too*
1. Week 14 - Its too hot

Clarke huffed to herself again. She couldn't help it. She felt too hot. The stinging heat of the summer air outside had barely cooled down during the night like the grounders had promised her it would.

And Lexa had hardly made things better by draping herself over clarke's body the second she'd decided to leave her duties for the day and join clarke in bed. It didn't help she'd had a sparring session with Indra not an hour beforehand. Her body had warmed with the exercise, making her warm to the touch. To clarke she felt like a fire. Lexa was even still sweaty in places. And now every inch of her warm skin was burning clarke's.

"This is way too hot" the blonde huffed again tapping at Lexa's shoulder.

The sleeping other woman immediately caught Clarke's hand and stilled it against her shoulder. Even asleep her reaction time and reflexes were perfect.

"Shh" she mumbled sleepily.

Clarke ground her teeth and glared up at the tampered roof of the tent.

"You're lucky this kid is between us or I would knock you out of this tent for shushing me"

Lexa gave a soft chuckle and let go of Clarke's hand so she could run her own over the side of the light bulge of clarke's stomach laying solid and hard beneath her own. Clarke's grumbling expression faded at Lexa's touch and she instead beamed watching the corner of Lexa's mouth slide up into a soft smile with the tentative touch.

"Clever child" she sleepily cooed, "Siding with your heda"

Clarke rolled her eyes.

"You're too cocky. He'll always side with his mother before his heda" she told Lexa seriously.

"Lucky for me I am both" Lexa answered and then peered back at the blonde with a twinkle in her eyes.

"He?" She repeated grinning. She very much liked the idea of having a son. Already she could envision training with him and showing him the world she would gift him.

Clarke smiled back at the older woman and ran a hand over her bump too.

"It feels like a he" she mumbled shyly.

She was certain they were having a boy. Even though she had refused her mother's offer of a maternity scan to check the sex. She was just sure it was a he. She hoped he had Lexa's eyes and Lexa's smile. And her strength and kindness. He would be beautiful like his mother, and fierce too. And clarke would love him forever.

"What if he is a she?" Lexa questioned breaking clarke away from her thoughts and moving herself lower so her face could be level with the bump, "What if you're a lioness like you're mother?" She asked it softly.

Clarke chuckled, "Lion or lioness, they'll be ours"

Lexa nodded and pressed a kiss to clarke's stomach.

"Ours" she murmured into clarke's bump, "Otaim" she looked back to clarke, beaming, "Thank you" she whispered to her.

"For what?" Clarke returned a little confused for that look of deep gratitude in her lover's eyes.

Lexa moved back up to Clarke's level. She cupped clarke's face gently in her hands like clarke was a feather that she might break if her grip was any stronger.

"For crashing to earth" Lexa answered earnestly, "For fighting my people. For finding me and giving me everything. Love.." she looked to their bump and ran her hand over it, "and a family" she looked back to clarke, "I love you clarke kom Skaikru"

Lexa leaned forward after giving her answer, and she was smiling to see Clarke happily waiting for her. They kissed for a moment, lips tenderly trading sleepy affections and unspoken I love yous. Until a little nudge into Lexa's hip had her breaking the kiss to look down at their unborn child kicking against his mother's stomach. Clarke chuckled and ran her palm in a circle over the bump.

"Somebody feels left out" she husked sighing when the baby kicked again. She winced with the discomfort and fidgeted a little, trying to rid herself of the ache in her back from laying still for so long.

Lexa studied clarke's frown and quickly moved herself back a little more to let Clarke move. She ran her own hand over the blondes stomach after seeing clarke wriggle so uncomfortably.

"You're making your mother uncomfortable" she chided the bump, "Hush now. Sleep. Soon you will be with us. And we will never leave you out"

To clarke's amazement the baby kicked once more, right beneath Lexa's hand, and then stilled. Almost as if it had understood it's mother promise and was behaving for her. Clarke stared at Lexa's soft smile at her stomach. She almost couldn't believe she was looking at the same woman she had met in that war tent all those years ago. If somebody had told her back then that the brooding girl sitting on her throne with threats for Clarke and her people was secretly so gentle and so affectionate and so loving on the inside, Clarke would have laughed in their face. She suddenly felt so grateful to herself for sticking with Lexa through everything. Because she'd earned a whole lot more than just peace from it.

"Thank you" she whispered still lost in her thoughts.

Lexa looked back at the blonde and smiled.

"For what?" She asked, now the confused one.

Clarke smiled and brought Lexa closer so that she was laying in her original position over clarke's belly. The blonde breathed in deeply. The aroma of Lexa's skin had always been her favourite smell. So sweet and so intoxicating. Even from the start when they'd first met.

She smiled to herself remembering the moment she'd walked away from their first meeting with a nose clogged with Lexa. She'd spent weeks after planning with the commander, speaking with her, getting to know and trust her. Just so she could have the chance to inhale her again. She'd been addicted straight away.

Clarke wrapped her arms around Lexa's back and gently nuzzled her nose against Lexa's temple. The brunette breathed deeply in response and clarke felt her running her fingers in calming circles against the sides of her belly. Her eyes fluttered closed with heda's subtle nurturing.

"For not killing me all those years ago" Clarke finally answered.

Lexa smiled to herself and kissed clarke's chest.

"There's still time" she teased.

Clarke hummed sleepily and Lexa had thought she'd fallen asleep in the moments that followed. So she settled into the crook of her lovers neck and inhaled Clarke's scent until her body completely relaxed over the blondes. She breathed a content sigh after feeling herself mould to clarke's shape. Even with the large pregnant belly clarke still fit perfectly to Lexa. And Lexa loved it.

The commander pressed her palm to clarke's belly again, feeling for their child. She felt tiny tears meet her eyes when she felt her soon to be born child give her palm the slightest of nudges. Not enough to wake clarke but enough to let Lexa know it was there.

"You don't know how special you are" she whispered to it, "Not because you are my son or daughter. Not because I am your heda. But because you have the most perfect mother any child could wish for"

Lexa glanced up at clarke sleeping. Her eyes moved adoringly over the blondes face. Over all the subtle little scars from various battles over the years. The rosy flushed cheeks. The now relaxed lines of the usually crinkled skin around clarke's eyes from her smiles. The hidden dimple that came out only when she smiled at Lexa and nobody else. Clarke was still so very beautiful. To Lexa she had only grown more in beauty with age.

"You mother is a princess" she told her child in a humbling voice, "And a great commander. She fell from the great sky in fire and ash. And she brought terrible pain on any who crossed her. Even me"

Lexa's fingers drummed thoughtfully on clarke's stomach.

"Especially me" she mumbled, "Your mother gave me my heart back. And it hurt. You won't understand until you are older but.. She taught me that love is strength. And I promise you, little one, she will make you the strongest person who ever lived. And you will help her show me again and again that love is not weakness. And I will love and protect you both. Always. Until my fight ends and my spirit is freed and the gods drag me in ashes from you both back to the great sky"

Lexa's voice broke a little with her vow and the tears began to slide down her face. She felt so overwhelmed with the love she felt for her family. She didn't know anybody could love another so much. She loved Clarke with her entire heart. She knew she would love this child with her entire being.

Lexa breathed deeply to calm herself and burrowed herself deeper into the warmth of clarke's skin. She kept her body splayed over the blonde, protecting her princess and their sleeping child. She would die before either of them were ever harmed.

She closed her eyes when she was settled and listened as the insignificant world outside their tent faded away until sleep finally stole her.

Clarke waited until the commander had fallen asleep on her chest before she allowed herself to look down at her. She smiled and ran her hand through the braids Lexa had lazily left tangled through her hair. She'd heard everything Lexa had promised their child. And she couldn't help but love Lexa more.

"Thank you for giving me a home" she whispered into Lexa's ear, kissing it softly before she let her eyes close for sleep.

She felt a warm drop of sweat tickle and roll down the side of her face after. She pulled Lexa closer, covering herself some more with the commander's body.

She didn't mind the heat after all.


	2. Month 3 - Just a small problem

Lexa was always a heavy thinker. Her mind was always sprinting. With strategies, with solutions. The smallest problem could have her up for days on her throne staring hard at the floor until the moon rose behind her and her eyes begged for rest.

Nights like these made her regret having her advisor executed. Titus had been a smart man, calculated, thorough. He knew how to make Lexa see the smallest detail. To make her make good decisions quicker. Without him she was slower. She thought more on the cons when before she rarely cared for them. And it irritated her somewhat.

Nights like these brought regret and guilt. But also affirmation of her stance in being a good commander. Thinking through a decision first was the right way. Titus had always taught her as much.

Clarke both loved and hated finding Lexa in these moments. On the one hand she loved Lexa being spaced out. It gave clarke time to unashamedly stare at her lover. To scan the sharp planes of her beautiful perfect face. From the tops of her braids to the perfect bow of her lips.

Lexa could think for hours. And Clarke could stare for hours.

On the other hand, Clarke hated rolling in bed at night to find Lexa's side of the furs cold. She hated the lonely dark walk up to the throne room. And she hated finding Lexa looking worn and exhausted, sometimes even asleep, on her throne. She hated coaxing Lexa out of her own mind and down to bed. It exhausted them both.

Clarke's hand brushed around the top of her little baby bump a moment and she stifled a long yawn as she quietly watched Lexa again working her mind late into the night. She sighed tiredly to herself for another nights work and moved from her stance by the door.

"Hey" Clarke called softly as she approached Lexa stood over her map table.

The commander lifted her head long enough out of her thoughts to smile at clarke before she returned to her task. Clarke moved to her side and wrapped her arm around Lexa's waist, squeezing gently when Lexa failed to notice.

"What're you working on?" She asked peering at the maps herself.

She frowned seeing the layout of the Delphikru borders beneath Lexa's stare. She'd heard rumours of their unrest but she'd never thought it was a serious issue. Clearly Lexa did.

Clarke ran her hand up Lexa's back, rubbing at the tension she felt hiding beneath Lexa's shirt. Her eyes ran worryingly over Lexa's eyes, which stared continuously at the map like a lifeline she loathed to take.

"Lexa?" Clarke took the commanders hand when she failed to answer.

Lexa looked away from the table finally. Her stinging eyes found Clarke's worrying ones and she allowed her lover to take her from her maps to her throne. Her walk was stiff thanks to the hours standing in one position, her bones ached terribly. The short walk to her throne felt like miles to her sore limbs. She felt Clarke's disapproval long before she felt herself being pushed down, forced to take her seat.

She started to object, "Clarke-"

"How long have you been stood there?" Clarke asked over her peering at Lexa's pale face in the candlelight.

Lexa shuffled guiltily on her throne and Clarke knew without being told that it'd been a while. She blew out an irritated breath.

"You'll make yourself sick staying up for weeks" she muttered stroking a hand down Lexa's face, "Then what use will you be to us?"

Lexa managed a tired smile back as she reached her hands out to touch Clarke's sides. She pulled the blonde closer and leant herself forward so she could rest her head against Clarke's stomach. The blonde's fingers slipped easily into her hair and drew circles against her scalp, making Lexa give the softest of sighs.

"You're worried" she murmured closing her eyes as the blonde dropped her other hand to massage the back of her neck.

Clarke breathed deeply. She is worried. Of course she is. Lexa is forever tired these days.

"What're you worrying about?" Clarke warily asked standing closer when Lexa's hands push her so.

Lexa stalls the moment. She nuzzles her nose into Clarke's clothes. She inhales deeply, allowing the sweet smell of the blonde's scent to calm her. She hesitates in answering Clarke. She doesn't want her to worry too. Missing a night or two of sleep is fine for Lexa. She isn't the pregnant one.

Her thumbs trace circles from clarke's sides to the peak of her growing belly, seeking her child. She imagines a tiny heartbeat echoing Clarke's while she rests there.

This was what she did it for. This was what kept her up night after night. Keeping this safe.

"It doesn't matter" she mumbled looking up at the blonde with a tired smile, "Just a small problem. Nothing worth worrying yourself over"

Clarke looked like she wanted an explanation. Lexa didn't want to give one. Not when she knew it would bring the blonde stress. Stress that would not be good for the baby.

So Lexa locked away her worries behind a fresh smile and gently pulled the blonde down into her lap. She wrapped her arms around Clare's waist after, hands landing to their usual stop at Clarke's belly. Beneath Clarke's skin a soft nudge touching Lexa's fingertips made her smile genuine.

"How is he today?" The commander asked nuzzling her lips against Clarke's temple the moment the blonde gave in with her stern frown and relaxed herself against lexa's shoulder. Clarke's eyes fluttered closed.

"Fine" she mumbled rubbing her palm over her belly, "We're fine"

Lexa's brow crinkled hearing the sadness masked in Clarke's voice. She looked to the blonde's still sleepy expression. She could tell clarke had missed her today.

Lexa sighed deeply to herself and held Clarke closer. She knew being commander put a strain on their relationship. And that Clarke was somewhat bitter for it when it dragged her away from Clarke too much. She knew Clarke worried about it, and especially now they were expecting a child. Clarke worried Lexa's duty would overshadow her love for her family.

But it never could.

Lexa pressed a soft kiss to Clarke's cheek and her heart bumped its old hopeless rhythm when Clarke smiled. For a moment Lexa was able to forget their troubles.

"Clarke kom Skaikru" she uttered softly into the blonde's hair. The woman on her lap delicately shivered in answer.

"Sha, heda?" Clarke answered patiently.

Lexa kissed her head again and then moved her lips down, chasing the skin on clarke's cheek to her jaw and throat. Drinking in every inch of Clarke her lips could reach.

Clarke breaths slowed in reply and her hand came up to hold tightly onto Lexa's wrist. Both encouraging her to continue and warn her to stop. Lexa paid no attention. Clarke's heart always spoke her true desires. And right now it was humming for more.

"Lex!" Clarke gasped and bit her lip to keep quiet, "What're you doing?!"

Lexa's smile smeared across clarke's throat in reply. Carefully she brought her hands down to the back of Clarke's left knee and guided it to turn and press against the seat of the throne so Clarke sat with a leg either side of her.

Clarke looked down at Lexa after. She looked confused and excited and somewhat nervous too. Lexa ran the pad of thumb across Clarke's cheek, with a smile when the blonde leant into her hand. She leant up after to capture the blonde's lips. They kissed slowly at first, lips trading soft pecks and playful nips. But then Clarke's tongue brushed Lexa's and a heat rose up the commander's back.

With Clarke's tongue gracing her mouth Lexa's hands danced down the blonde's back, sneaking low beneath her shirt to rub circles into her hips. Her squeezing palms caused the blonde to dance up under touch and let loose a soft giggle against Lexa's lips that echoed about the abandoned throne room. Lexa smiled happily at the sound. She'd missed hearing Clarke laugh.

"Lets go to bed, ai niron" she husked into Clarke's ear. The blonde looked down at her eagerly.

"Sha, heda" she whispered back but made no attempt to climb off the commander.

Lexa grinned up at her and caught Clarke down into another kiss. She carefully stood as they kissed, moving only slightly away so she could carry Clarke in her arms across the large room to the double doors. From there she moved with practiced blind grace through the halls of the tower.

The blonde continued with her kisses the entire way to their bedroom, sometimes moving away from Lexa's bruised lips to pepper her neck in sweet little marks that had Lexa's hands holding the blonde tighter to her chest.

"If you're not careful we might not make the bed" Lexa warned playfully.

Clarke chuckled and moved back in Lexa's arms. Her hands cupped the back of Lexa's neck, her nails just digging in in a way that had Lexa's skin tingling.

"That has never stopped us before, commander" Clarke husked stroking her thumb beneath Lexa's right eye.

Lexas eyes closed feeling it doodle around her face. She smiled knowing the design Clarke was tracing on her skin. It was the one she'd worn when they first met. When they battled. When they first kissed. One she might soon wear again.

A pain entered her heart quickly and she eroded it even quicker by taking Clarke quickly into their room to their bed. Clarke was smiling as Lexa set her carefully over the furs and began gently peeling off her clothes. With every piece of flesh exposed creating a chill on Clarke's skin Lexa pressed a warm kiss to fight the cold away. Each one had Clarke shuddering beneath her. And wriggling to fight off the building frustration in herself. Lexa moved slower in return, lengthening the torture. By the time Lexa had Clarke's pants off the blonde was a tumbling mess already.

"Lexa" she whimpered holding her hands out to the brunette.

Lexa looked her over, eyes stopping calmly on clarke's belly before locking with the blonde's. She smiled at Clarke's silent demand to come closer and heeded her lover's wants immediately. Lexa settled on her side next to the blonde, grinning like a lovestruck teenager when Clarke immediately clenched a fist into her shirt and yanked her closer. Taking the hint Lexa carefully climbed over the blonde, resting herself happily in her usual place of protection over their bump. Her body warmed feeling the heat of their child lying between them. And she smiled down at her sky princess when their baby moved. Clarke chuckled seeing the awestruck twinkle that always reached Lexa's eyes when she felt her child kicking.

"He missed you" she husked reaching for Lexa's hand so she could press it over the small bump.

Lexa's fingers splayed out over Clarke's stomach and her smile only grew warmer feeling her child move happy and safe beneath her hand. She loved it when Clarke told her little things like that.

"As I missed him" she breathed back darting her eyes to Clarke's smile again. She bent down after to kiss the blonde, "And you, ai niron"

Clarke's smile tasted like the heat of summer when Lexa kissed her. Their lips moved slow at first, pleasantly languid, before Clarke's hips moved up against lexas stomach, pushing a soft moan from the commander.

Quickly Lexa felt her clothes being torn from her back. And her hands being pressed to her favourite soft warm flesh. And her lips grazing sweet skin that shook and gasped pleasantly beneath her eager touch. Lexa's heart was on fire with the love she felt encompassing her in that bed with Clarke.

"Ai hod yu in" she whispered continually through the night, never quite sure Clarke could hear her over her own gasps and moans.

Lexa didn't mind. She knew Clarke felt it anyway.

* * *

 _ ***quick suthors note***_

 _ **Guys im in archive of our own! Under the same username and profile pic. Check me there for new stories and whatnot :D**_


	3. Week 16 - I'm just curious

_**So reading over the future chapters I have ready for this story, its a little unclear just how pregnant Clarke is. So with that in mind, chapter titles will now say how far gone Clarke is in her pregnancy. Also I'm pleading Nightblood as an excuse for the slight premature feel to the baby's growth rate, just so I can get more into the timeline. Enjoy!**_

* * *

"I wish you'd let me check the sex" Abby sighed for the billionth time. She smiled eying her daughter sitting up on the bed biting her lip. She knew clarke was tempted to know. Who wouldn't be? Abby was dying to find out. She bet secretly Clarke was too.

"C'mon.." she tried reaching for the sonogram equipment she'd left out with hope on her desk. She stood with the gel ready in her hands and moved to pull clarke's shirt up to begin. Her hope was crushed the moment Clarke turned her head to face her fiercely.

Clarke gave her a serious look and pushed her mother's hand away from her stomach, covering it with her own to protect it from Abby's mission to ruin the surprise.

"No, mom"

Abby's crestfallen expression might have lured Clarke's agreement if Clarke wasn't so determined in her decision. She and Lexa had agreed to wait. Because that was how the grounders did things. Clarke was curious, sure. But she wanted to find out with Lexa the traditional way, with her baby wrapped up in her arms and her lover at her side with her. Reading it all on a computer made it less natural to her.

Abby on the other hand disagreed. She thought Clarke was putting off using their medical advantage over the grounders because she knew Lexa wouldn't allow it. To her Clarke was being denied her right to know.

Clarke had to push her mom's hand away again, smiling a little to herself at her tenacity and excitement. Abby looked like a kid before their birthday right now.

"We don't have to tell Lexa!" Abby tried. She started grinning amused when her daughter simply rolled her eyes in return.

"We don't have to tell Lexa, what?"

The two women turned their heads hearing Lexa's voice cut sharply and suspiciously into the room. She was stood frozen in her walk through the door with a hand holding the door handle tightly. Her eyes locked on Abby and the container she held up in her hand, and Clarke's fingers wrapped around her mother's wrist, holding it away.

Abby lowered her hand seeing Lexa's eyes darken. Clarke ignored them both and beamed watching Lexa leave the door to walk into the room. She'd hoped Lexa would be able to skip her meetings to be a part of this.

Lexa returned Clarke's smile and approached her partner laying on the bed surrounded by various instruments she didn't trust near her niron or baby. She bent down to kiss the blonde's head before she turned to look at Clarke's mother. Abby merely sighed in defeat and dropped her strange tools back onto her desk. The doctor returned to the bedside after and splayed her palms to Clarke's belly.

"What are you two hiding from me this time?" Lexa asked in a suspicious voice.

She was watching intently with narrowed eyes as Abby probed their bump with her fingers. She didn't trust these Skaikru ways of birthing.

"Mom was trying to get me to agree to a sonogram" Clarke explained reaching for Lexa's hand. Lexa frowned back at her.

"Sonogram?" She repeated quietly. The word was foreign to her. She didn't like not knowing what it was and whether it was dangerous or not.

"It's a scan of the baby. So we can see it. Make sure it's healthy" Clarke rubbed circles into Lexa's palm while she explained it to her, "But mom wants to use it to find out whether we're having a girl or a boy"

"I'm just curious!" Abby grinned pulling her stethoscope to her ears before Clarke could argue back.

The blonde rolled her eyes at her mother and looked back to the commander sat beside her. Lexa was watching Abby with eagle eyes. It was clear in the way her lips twisted that she didn't trust what Abby was doing to Clarke. Clarke ran her hand up Lexa's back.

"She's just listening to the baby's heartbeat" she reassured her. Lexa nodded, "How did your meeting with Kane go?"

Lexa caught Abby's side glance before she answered the blonde.

"Everything is fine" she smiled to her sky princess easily enough despite the lie. Abby sent her a short scowl for her deceit.

Clarke frowned, clearly confused, "So the scout reports-"

"Just a mistake. Nothing to worry over" Lexa brushed a kiss to Clarke's hand and looked to Abby, "Everything okay here?" She asked hoping Abby would see her order to remain silent about the scouts.

Abby looked away, seeming to be concentrating on probing a part of Clarke's stomach. But Lexa could see the older woman thinking on whether to deliver her daughter the truth. She fought the urge to order Abby out and smiled down at her blonde chewing her lip nervously. Abby glanced up sensing both their eyes on her and smiled warmly at the couple looking at her worried.

"It seems good" she reported happily.

Abby moved to Clarke's side the second Clarke released a big breath of relief. She wrapped her arms around her daughter's shoulders and cuddled her.

"I still can't believe my baby's having a baby!" she gushed giddily. It made Clarke smile while Lexa rolled her eyes.

"The baby is well?" The commander asked her wanting a proper confirmation. She felt herself finally relax when Abby nodded back at her.

"Baby is healthy and in the right position for how far along you've gotten. Heartbeat is strong too" she rubs her hand over Clarke's bump fondly, "Whatever you're doing, kid, keep doing it"

Clarke grinned and looked back to Lexa, "Hear that? Looks like you'll be finding more of those ice apples for me"

Lexa smiled softly, "As if that is such a chore, Clarke" she leant forward and brushed a kiss to Clarke's temple, "I would scour the earth for its last apples if that was what you desired, ai hodnes"

Clarke beamed back at her lover when she leant away again. She feels so lucky to have Lexa of all people as her partner. Beside her, her mother secretly thinks the same. Abby squeezed Clarke's shoulder and quietly whispered in her ear.

"Don't let go of this one" She leant back to smile between the two women before she checked her daughter's watch and sighed, "Unfortunately, that's time, Honey. I've got other patients to check up on" she explained sadly when Clarke pouted miserably. She felt the same. Like they had barely any time together. She brushed the back of her hand down Clarke's cheek.

"Can't you just come with us?" Clarke pouted, smiling when she caught Lexa shake her head beside her. She poked the commander with her elbow and grinned at her mother, "A daughter needs her mom there when she's giving birth"

Abby smiled lovingly at her but shook her head, "Don't worry, Clarke. I'll be there. I promise" She pressed a kiss to Clarke's head and sighed moving away, "You're leaving soon?"

She was looking at Clarke but her question was obviously directed at Lexa.

The two blondes look to the commander, Clarke pleadingly, Abby challengingly. Lexa can't fight either of them.

"Tomorrow" she submits a little reluctantly. She wanted Clarke back in Polis where it was safe. But Clarke looked too happy to be back among her people. Lexa could hardly tear her away from them so soon. Clarke needed to be around her other family too.

The blonde squeaked in delight and wrapped Lexa into a tight hug. The commander chuckled and allowed herself to revel a little in Clarke's kisses peppering her neck before Abby's watching made her uneasy. The healer crossed her arms when their eyes locked and gave a stern look behind Clarke's back. It reminded Lexa of ' _the talk'_ she'd been given years ago when Abby had worked out just how close the two girls were becoming. She didn't look forward to a repeat. But Lexa could tell that was what was coming the moment Abby is able to get her alone.

"I can't wait to tell Raven!" Clarke grins and carefully sits up and slides off the bed.

Lexa is up after her in seconds, holding Clarke's arm to offer support while she walks. Clarke patted her hand.

"I love that you're so supportive. But my mom has been giving you emthe look/em since you got here. You two gotta talk"

With that Clarke kissed Lexa's cheek and walked out of the room, smiling amused to herself imagining what awkward horror her mother was about to lay into her lover. Lexa won't appreciate being thrown to the wolf like that. But Clarke knew she would be forgiven later. She always is.

Lexa watched Clarke disappear and she sighed tiredly as she turned to face Abby. The older woman is cleaning her tools, carefully and slowly. Lexa can't help but relate it to a warrior sharpening their blade.

"She doesn't know" Abby stated calmly. To Lexa she might as well have shouted the words.

The commander stilled the need to walk off her sudden agitation. Abby wanted answers from her. She wanted - no- silently demanded, to know why Lexa was keeping Clarke in the dark about the clans. She can tell Abby is confused and maybe astounded that Clarke doesn't already know. How can she not hear about it living in the capital and having the commander for her lover? She knows to Abby it doesn't make sense and maybe thats why she's so worried

Lexa stalled answering Abby straight away. She wanted to avoid answering all together when Abby was talking to her like that. But she could hardly ignore the question or strike the healer down for asking. She was Clarke's mother, and their baby's grandmother. Annoyingly that made her family now.

Lexa forced herself to hold Abby's stern gaze when she finally moved it away from her tools and back to her face.

"I don't want her worrying" Lexa said strongly, hoping Abby could take a hint. When Abby's brow dipped confused, Lexa mumbled the reason why

The healer's eyes softened at the sudden shy girl before her explaining her strong need to protect Clarke and their unborn child. She'd seen Lexa do everything to insure her people's safety and happiness. She was glad, proud even, that she was doing the same for Clarke.

"Well.." Abby didn't know what to say. Lexa was right to keep Clarke from stressing for the baby's sake. But it was still wrong too. She should know.

"Abby" Lexa's stern voice caught hold of the healer, "I don't want Clarke to know until it is a definite and serious situation. Right now all we have are reports of restlessness. Rumours"

Clarke's mother stared back at her. She'd heard the reports herself. Villages were being razed. People were being murdered. Luna had reported an influx of refugees coming to her for sanctuary. Lexa believed this was all just rumour?

"So you're going to wait until it's full out war?" Abby shook her head disapproving, "Clearly you don't know my daughter very well"

Lexa glared taking what Abby had said seriously and very personally.

"I know her better than anyone. Including her mother"

The two women glared at each other before Abby sighed at the ridiculousness of the whole situation. She touched her hands flat to the table in front of her and shook her head again.

"She'll find out eventually. My Clarke doesn't miss a thing"

Lexa actually smiled, "I'm to believe she inherited such a trait from yourself"

Abby softly laughed and shook her head, "No. Not me. She gets that from Jake.."

Abby's eyes misted a little with her first husband's name and her hand went to grasp the ring on her necklace. It'd been years but remembering him still hurt sometimes. Lexa looked down on the Skaifisa sympathetically. She understood first hand the pain of losing a first love.

"Abby, please" she said softly, rousing Abby from her nostalgic thoughts.

The healer looked at her in surprise for the sudden begging. Heda didn't beg, and she knew Lexa sure as hell didn't. She felt immediately wary.

"Don't tell her" Lexa pleaded with her, "Clarke will try to fix it herself and you know the sorts of dangers she has put herself in before doing that"

Abby looked like she was finally understanding. Maybe even agreeing now. She may not know Clarke as Lexa did. But she knew her daughter had protective instincts. She would do anything to keep her people safe, even if it meant dying herself.

 _But not this time,_ Abby's thoughts growled. There was no way on earth she would let her daughter endanger her own child in that way. Abby would sooner throw herself from Lexa's tower than let it happen.

"Okay" she agreed nodding at the commander, "Clarke stays out of the loop. But only until it gets serious" she pointed a finger at Lexa and gave her a serious look.

Lexa had no doubt the healer would have no trouble turning her tools of healing into tools of death should she mess this up. Lexa nodded understanding.

Abby dropped her serious glare then and smiled warmly at Lexa.

"You should go find our little fixer" she said, in a gentler voice than before, "Before she gets into Raven's new toys"

Lexa's slow smile back at Abby dropped immediately. She'd heard of Raven's penchant for explosives and getting creative with making them. Clarke often entertained her and the baby with stories of Raven's explosive achievements against their enemies. The way Lexa understood it, the bigger the boom, the happier the bomb expert.

Lexa immediately left Abby's office, leaving behind the chuckling doctor.


	4. 4 Months - I've been thinking

Clarke was glaring. She felt all hot and bothered walking around the woods in her condition. It wasn't the smartest idea. She should be relaxing, taking it easy in her bed. Instead she'd been lured away from the comfort of her room and made to walk into the woods outside Polis with a promise of a surprise. Right now Clarke wasn't interested in any surprises unless they came in the form of something comfortable to sit on and an apple or two for her to ease the cravings. Still, her curiosity made her walk on. She was interested to know what Lexa was so eager to show her. But that didn't stop her cursing under her breath at Lexa the farther they walked. It was probably only the good scenery keeping her mood level.

And by scenery, she meant the view of the commander's ass as she walked easily in front of her blonde, leading her to this mysterious surprise she kept smiling about.

After another half hour walking and staring longingly at Lexa's rear, Clarke growled impatiently. She'd hoped they'd have arrived by now to wherever it was they were going to. Eventually her impatience won against her curiosity.

"Lexa, I swear if you don't tell me where we're going this second, I'm gonna take that sword you love so much and stick it right up your-"

"Here!" Lexa rushed grinning at the disappointed look Clarke gave at not being able to finish her threat.

She moved back to her blonde and closed her fingers around Clarke's. She squeezed them gently before she began ushering her off the track they'd been following. Clarke followed the brunette slowly. Her eyes moved around them, constantly on the lookout. It was a bad habit she'd picked up off Lexa. Who for some reason right now looked less concerned with possible danger and much more excited about getting Clarke to walk towards a large pile of rocks. Clarke frowned at them and squeezed Lexa's hand again.

"Where are we?" She asked her curiously. When she looked around them again she spied a few of Lexa's guards hiding in the trees watching them both closely. After her initial fright it made her frown. She and Lexa had never had an escort on their private journeys before. Lexa had been protection enough.

"We are where you asked to be, Clarke" Lexa replied ignoring the questions in Clarke's eyes looking back at her to help the blonde over the stones they were now climbing.

Clarke set aside her building concern for Lexa's guard and Lexa's obvious try at ignoring their presence. She cautiously moved over the stones with hands reaching out and holding tightly to Lexa when it felt like she might slip. Lexa held her firmly. She wouldn't let her sky princess fall. Her hand brushed Clarke's belly when she let the blonde move past her.

 _Or him_ , she thought smiling when her baby kicked out beneath the palm sliding around it's mother's stomach.

"Although I'm expecting another cryptic answer.." Clarke panted wincing to herself as she stopped and stretched her sore back muscles, "How much farther is this place?"

She looked back behind them to the woods where somewhere long ago they'd left their horses. She didn't understand why they'd abandoned them in the first place. But at least now she knew why Lexa had shown no concern for leaving them untied in the wild.

Clarke looked around again and spotted more of Lexa's warriors blended into the trees. She started to speak out about it when she spotted Octavia grinning down at her from the branches of the one closest to her.

Lexa quickly moved around her and took both her hands.

"Not far" she promised walking backwards with a reassuring smile she hoped would tempt Clarke to carry on.

Clarke looked from her still grinning warrior friend and down to her sore feet. She knew she shouldn't be walking on them. At all.

She sighed tiredly, "Lexa-"

"Please, Clarke" Lexa brushed her fingertips affectionally over the blonde's cheek, "I can carry you if you feel you cannot walk"

Clarke smiled at the impossibility of the offer. And her heart jumped fondly for it. Lexa, her knight without armour.

Lexa smiled too, "You have shown such strength in carrying our child. But I see your pain too. I know it keeps you up at night. I know it hurts to walk because it's heavy. I wish I could carry the burden so you wouldn't have to"

Clarke reached out and stroked Lexa's face, "I know"

Lexa's head rolled into Clarke's palm. She inhaled deeply and brushed her lips against Clarke's wrist. Then she took her hand down to hold whilst they continued their walk. Clarke took a deep breath to ready herself before starting after Lexa. She told herself to ignore Octavia's whistling to the other warriors behind them, and then the almost silent tread of many feet following her and Lexa.

"I recall you complaining of your pregnancy aches" Lexa began to distract the blonde.

She lead Clarke towards the rock wall ahead of them, stopping by the almost hidden fissure running through it. Through the gap they could just make out the flicker of light coming from inside. Clarke stared at it and nodded.

"And I recall you telling me to suck it up" she countered back flitting her eyes to her girlfriend.

Lexa flushed a light red.

"I didn't.. quite use those words"

"Sorry," Clarke apologised sarcastically, "Your exact words were.." She eyed Lexa with a smile before she pulled on her best impression of the commander, "Try to relax and ignore it, Clarke. I'm trying to deal with the clans. And right now they are more important than your aching"

Lexa stared at her lover, mouth opening and closing a few times with nothing to say. She couldn't deny it. She had said that. Even though at the time she'd known Clarke had only said because it was late and she was trying to get them both to bed. Clarke grinned victoriously watching Lexa struggle to find a way out of the hole she'd dug herself. She even gave a light laugh hearing Octavia snigger somewhere close by.

The commander turned her head to glare into the trees before she returned her attention to Clarke.

"I am sorry" Lexa spoke earnestly, "But now I would like to make amends"

She nodded her head towards the fissure, indicating their destination was inside the rocks. Clarke eyed the darkness of it warily but followed Lexa regardless. She trusted she was safe. With their 'secret' guard how could she not be? Besides she knew Lexa wouldn't willingly put her or their child in danger.

"Take note, kid" she huffed as she squeezed into the rocks after the commander, "If you're ever as annoyingly mysterious as your mom, I'm disowning you"

She heard Lexa give an amused chuckle, "I thought mystery was what attracted you to me" she teased as she put her hand on Clarke's head to safe guard it from the sharp rocks jutting from the low ceiling by the cave's mouth.

Clarke ducked when instructed and tapped Lexa's hand gently as she rose to her full height again.

"You should be well aware by now that I'm just here for the free earth tours, Heda" she teased Lexa straight back and moved to step smirking past the commander.

She jumped a little when Lexa span her around all of a sudden to grab and kiss her.

Clarke moaned softly. Her heart bumped excited in her chest. Even her baby thumped a kick into her ribs, maybe playing in time with her pulse. Lexa continued to kiss her. Her lips pressed warmly while her hands moved slowly to remove Clarke's jacket. The blonde let her remove the garment and eagerly moved against her lover for more. She'd missed feeling Lexa this close. So much so that she didn't care at all for the warriors outside that could probably hear everything that was happening inside. Lexa certainly didn't give a damn about them. She held Clarke as if she were the only other person in the world. And Clarke loved it.

"I have a surprise for you, niron" Lexa husked moving her kisses slowly down Clarke's neck. Clarke tipped her head back and bit on her lip. Her thoughts chased wildly with hopeful ideas of this surprise.

Lexa continued her trip down Clarke's front, kissing over her thin shirt, chest to stomach, kneeling and holding Clarke's sides as she got lower and lower.

"For you" she said eyes glimmering up at her excited blonde. Lexa looked down again and held their precious bump in her hands, "And you" she told it kissing it too.

Clarke grinned feeling it's usual kick back under Lexa's hands. And as usual Lexa beamed at the swollen flesh like it was the best thing in the world.

"C'mon then" Clarke said after the seconds stretched out. She knew Lexa would kneel there all day given the chance, "We're both eager to know what nomi's got for us"

Lexa switched her attention back to the blonde and Clarke felt her heart flutter hopelessly at the loving look Lexa gave her. Lexa stared surprised and endeared. She'd been called many things in her life, but never had she expected to be called that. Lexa's heart flew imagining being called it for the rest of her life by her child. She beamed at her girlfriend, smiling the happiest Clarke had ever seen her smile.

The blonde grinned back at her but raised her brow in question. Lexa nodded to her and took both her hands.

"This way, hodnes"

The commander kissed their bump again and rose to her feet. She missed the worry coming to Clarke's face at hearing the warriors being suddenly loud outside. She stood closer and reached for the blonde's hips to turn her away from going to investigate. Lexa's hands covered Clarke's eyes after and she began slowly steering them deeper into the cave, following the candles she'd had Octavia light for them earlier that day. Clarke laughed nervously but allowed Lexa to lead her.

More loud noise echoed into the cave behind them, and Clarke's fingers clutched the front of Lexa's shirt. Lexa gently hushed her. She shot an irritated look to the mouth of the cave. Her eyes locked on Octavia's as the younger woman climbed swearing loudly into the cave after them. Octavia was backing out mouthing an apology the second she saw the anger on her Heda's face.

Lexa fought an irritated breath and gently stopped Clarke from wandering any further forward. She looked around at the space in front of them nervously before she lifted her hands from Clarke's face.

"Surprise" she whispered with a kiss to Clarke's neck.

Clarke's eyes were still closed. She'd been so busy thinking over why Lexa's guards were surrounding the cave entrance. She felt Lexa whisper in her ear again. When Lexa squeezed her hips Clarke's eyes opened finally and she took a small step forward. She didn't see Lexa's gift until her feet were suddenly ankle deep in warm water.

The blonde looked down in surprise at the natural pool she was standing in and stared at her reflection. She faintly heard Lexa chuckle at the look of delight she gave the water. Clarke rolled her toes in the warmth, moaning happily when it burned against the ache in her feet. Then she remembered to look up and thank Lexa, stopping short suddenly when she turned her head back to find the commander of clans already half undressed in the candlelight beside her.

Clarke swallowed as she watched Lexa's hands unbutton her shirt. She'd watched the commander undress so many times over the years. In haste, in tease, in exhaustion. Clarke had also had her fair share of tearing the fabric from Lexa's back. And every single time watching simply blew her breath away. Not because Lexa's body was borderline godly. Not because she was stunningly beautiful. But because she was Clarke's. And Clarke's alone.

Lexa made Clarke jealous of herself sometimes.

"Are you going to watch or are you going to let me undress you?"

Lexa smirked when Clarke blushed at being caught staring. The blonde looked down to her own clothes and nodded. Lexa came over to her and gently began peeling the layers off the blonde until she too was stood naked opposite her. She saw Clarke's eyes run over her again, hungrily taking in the length and muscle of her warrior's body. And then flicker away to her own. Lexa lifted a finger beneath Clarke's chin when she recognised the flash of disappointment in them.

"You are so beautiful" she whispered sealing her mouth over Clarke's. She could feel the blonde frowning.

"Even though I'm fat and moody?" Clarke questioned back. Lexa softly chuckled.

"Even more so" she answered smiling honestly. Lexa leant away and held Clarke's face in her hands, "You have never been more beautiful, Clarke"

Clarke beamed at her before she leant in. Lexa let Clarke kiss her, let her get away with her oh so torturous kisses that always had Lexa begging for more. Until finally her lungs and her willpower could take no more.

"We should get you in the water" she mumbled quietly the second Clarke's lips left her own so they could both breathe. She licked them already craving more.

"Or else...?" Clarke smirked knowing that tight expression Lexa was trying to keep from her.

"The water is more comfortable for your back than this stone floor" Lexa answered back seriously.

Clarke met the dark green of her eyes watching her desperately. Lexa wanted Clarke to enjoy her gift. Maybe the rest could come after. Clarke nodded. She could wait.

She allowed Lexa to take both her hands and direct her to the edge of the pool. There Lexa let her go so she could slip into the water first. It was hot. Perfect for what she intended for her princess. Lexa turned once she found her footing and reached up to grip Clarke's hips. Clarke looked down at her unsure. Lexa had always been able to lift her before. But that was when she weighed less. She eyed her large belly before she glanced back to the other woman. Lexa simply watched her back without reservations for her ability to help Clarke into the water.

"Don't drop me" Clarke sighed and let Lexa do it.

The other woman smiled and stretched up to wrap her arms around the back of Clarke's thighs. She locked them tightly and lifted the pregnant woman gently off the ground, taking all her weight easily. She smiled at Clarke's scared gasp and her immediate reach for Lexa's shoulders. She kissed their bump as she turned to ease Clarke into the water.

"I would never drop either of you" she promised the blonde as she gently set Clarke down, "You're far too precious to me"

Clarke smiled and closed her eyes as her body inch by inch was lowered into the water against Lexa's. The water around them was hot and eagerly enveloped her sore body. Soothing it just right. She tipped her head back when Lexa placed her onto her feet and moaned.

"God, that's good!"

"I know what's better" Lexa smirked moving silently through the water to stand at Clarke's back.

She kissed Clarke's neck before she began gently massaging her back beneath the water. The blonde's body moved pliantly back into Lexa's after just a few digs of her fingers into her knotted shoulders. Lexa grinned finding her blonde sinking against her moaning with the massage. She chuckled to herself and continued her little kiss trail of Clarke's neck. She drew a map with her lips up the back of it and then down to the faded jaguar scars on Clarke's left shoulder while her fingers softly rubbed and unknotted the tension from the rest of the blonde's body.

"Enjoying yourself, Clarke?" She murmured in her ear after some time had passed.

"Hmm.." Clarke moaned deeply causing Lexa to smile, "The baby likes it too" she mumbled sleepily.

Lexa grinned and moved a hand forward through the water to hold the bump over Clarke's hand.

"It's good to know you both enjoy my company so much" she whispered kissing Clarke's temple.

Clarke scoffed, "Don't let it go to your head" she weakly joked leaning heavier into the commander.

Lexa chuckled again and kissed clarke's shoulder. She went back to her massage of Clarke's back, making sure to diligently work out every last knot until Clarke was soft and loose beneath her hands again. It took some time. It worried her how stressed Clarke's body seemed to have become in the last few weeks.

She gently took her hands away from Clarke's back when she was done and stroked the blonde's face. Clarke twitched a little having fallen asleep beneath Lexa's soothing touch. Lexa smiled to herself and wrapped her arm around the blonde before she began moving them back through the water so she could lean against the wall with Clarke pressed to her. She reached out of the pool a moment to move her sword closer should she need it. Her blonde stirred momentarily when she sank down again and Lexa shushed her calmly and rubbed her belly soothingly until she was coaxed back to sleep. Then Lexa held her lover, eyes sweeping over her in the dim candlelight. She was trying not to but her mind was memorising every inch of Clarke's face while it whizzed with worry once more.

Lexa breathed deeply to herself and closed her eyes to concentrate. Just because she had taken a break from Polis did not mean she had taken a break from being Heda.

Lexa looked to the water and stared down at the light reflecting off it while she thought. In her head it was a crimson color. It made her shiver.

"I carry the burden" she whispered staring deeply. Her mind was filled with the latest kru reports. None had born good news. Death was filling her lands. Random attacks were becoming much more organised, strategised. And worse they were coming closer to Polis. Closer to Lexa and her family.

 _Maybe she should know,_ Lexa wondered glancing to the sleeping blonde against her chest. Abby's advice bubbled around in her head momentarily. The healer had warned her to tell Clarke. Told her she'd find out anyway. And maybe she had. Maybe that was why Clarke had felt so tense.

Lexa held Clarke tighter to her chest, clinging almost desperately to the blonde. She didn't want to admit it but she was scared. Very scared. And she knew had she walked the last decade alone, without Clarke and the prospect of beginning a family, she would be fearless right now. As she had when she'd taken up the flame. She wish she could be again. Because the thought of not being able to protect her family, of not being able to keep them both safe, that terrified her.

"Hmm" Clarke grunted in her sleep after a while and she wriggled in Lexa's arms.

Lexa looked down at her and knew immediately what was wrong. She moved her hand to press against the blonde's stomach, looking for the kicking child.

"What have I told you?" She whispered down to it. She brushed her thumb up and down against the bump, "Be patient, little one. Let your mother sleep" Lexa's eyes casted back to the rings under Clarke's eyes. She felt guilty while she added, "She rarely gets that chance"

And Lexa knew she's the reason why. When she failed to sleep so too did clarke.

The bump thumped under her fingers, almost as if the child was talking back to her.

"I can see you have your mother's stubbornness already" she sighed when the baby kicked again, harder, making Clarke cry out a little. Lexa looked down at the bump sternly while the blonde stirred in her arms, "And her temper"

"He gets that from you" Clarke groggily mumbled shifting up in Lexa's hold. She pulled Lexa's arms away from herself and turned to stand and hold the other woman to her chest. Lexa sighed back at her.

"Maybe he gets it from us both" she conceded wrapping her arms around her lover. This time when the bump kicked Lexa felt it hard against her stomach. It even made her wince.

"That's what you get" Clarke chuckled leaning back to smile up at Lexa. She stretched on her toes and Lexa, already knowing what Clarke wanted, dipped her head forward so Clarke could rest her own against it without straining herself.

The pair let out a content breath as their foreheads touched.

"Lexa kom trikru" Clarke murmured to herself. Lexa smiled and nudged her nose against Clarke's.

"Sha, Wanheda?"

"I told you to stop calling me that" Clarke quietly growled at her but Lexa wasn't afraid. She lifted her head a little, bringing her lips close to just brush Clarke's nose. Clarke was immediately calmed. Much to her irritation and secret delight.

"I've been thinking.." the blonde began a little nervously, "About what to call him"

Lexa looked down at her eager to hear her suggestions.

"I have too" she admitted.

Clarke nodded at her.

"You first, heda"

"No" Lexa argued in a soft voice, "You are carrying this beautiful thing" she cupped Clarke's belly tenderly, "You would honour me by naming my child, Clarke. As you honour me by carrying him"

Clarke stretched up at Lexa's words and delicately kissed her. She was surprised Lexa was giving her the task of naming their baby.

"Gus?" She whispered the first suggestion, deciding to get the worst out now. As she expected Lexa tensed up in her arms and began shaking her head.

Clarke looked at her sympathetically, "Lexa, it was a long time ago"

"It was still a betrayal" Lexa defended in a quiet snarl. It had been twelve years but the pain of Gus' actions still hurt her.

"He did what he thought was right" Clarke tried softly, "Just like you. Just like me"

Lexa shook her head, mind already made. She would not let Clarke, nor anybody else, persuade her to forgive her old mentor and guard. No matter how true his intentions had been. If he'd had succeeded with his plan back then, Lexa would have no doubt killed the blonde who would become her one love. She could not forgive that.

"No, Clarke"

Clarke sighed and relented the argument.

"How about Wells? After my friend"

Lexa's eyes shone a little sympathetically back at her this time. She remembered the nightmares Clarke had suffered with regarding this friend. The ones that haunted her still on occasion. They'd even visited his grave together. Lexa knew the guilt and shame Clarke forever carried over the death of her best friend. It had crushed her. Sometimes it still did. Though Lexa understood the reason behind Clarke's wanting to name the child after the dead boy, it wouldn't be fair to Clarke.

"I don't think you could bear that" she whispered gently to the blonde.

Clarke nodded. She guessed she couldn't. Lexa hesitated speaking while Clarke stared in deep thought at the wall. She wasn't sure how the blonde would react to her own suggestion for the baby's name. She worried Clarke would hate it.

"I.. I thought-"

"How about Anya?" Clarke interrupted her suddenly, "If he's a she?"

Lexa's expression dipped. She hadn't thought of girls names at all. But her eyes shone hopefully with Clarke's suggestion. Clarke smiled knowing she'd chosen right.

"Clarke.." Lexa laughed and shook her head at her own speechlessness, "I don't know what to say"

Clarke stroked Lexa's face. She smiled softly at her, "Say yes. She would want that, Lexa. Who knows, if Anya had lived she may have been in position to play godmother"

Lexa shot her a confused look and clarke chuckled, "Doesn't matter"

Lexa brought her closer and kissed her brow, "I don't think you and I would be together if Anya had lived. I'm fairly certain she would have persuaded me off this path"

"I don't" Clarke answered back confidently, "Anya cared about you. I think she would have wanted you to live your life the way you wanted. Not the way you were told or trained to"

Lexa was quiet for the longest time before she reached down beneath the water to their bump and caressed her unborn child.

"Anya would be proud if our child bore her name" She mumbled quietly.

Clarke looked up at her hopefully. Lexa smiled.

"Little Anya" she mused enjoying the way it sounded. Clarke beamed at her.

"Little Anya" she agreed kissing Lexa's cheek. Her arms wrapped around Lexa's neck and she kissed Lexa's shoulder before she rested her head against it. Lexa's arms held her close and Clarke listened closely as the commander's heart beat her happiness under her ear.

"What if it's a boy?" Lexa thought aloud breaking the peace. Her own suggestion was balancing on the tip of her tongue again.

Clarke simply groaned back.


	5. Week 19 - I Need You

"I'm not sure about this, Princess" Octavia mumbled as she followed the other woman through the dense thicket.

They'd been walking away from the city for all of ten seconds and already the fear of getting caught by Heda's guards easily outweighed Octavia's usual thirst for adventure. She didn't like disobeying her commander by taking the blonde away from the safety of the city. But she couldn't tell Clarke why they couldn't leave. Lexa had ordered none to inform Clarke of what was happening outside of Polis. Octavia thought the order ridiculous. Clarke would know soon. Especially because the trouble was coming closer to them all with each passing day. It could already have arrived.

Thinking about a possible army waiting for them past the woods made Octavia edgy.

"We should probably head back"

Up front Clarke just moaned back at her.

"Cmon, O!" She turned to throw the younger woman her strongest pout, "Lexa's had me locked up in that tower for weeks like a real princess waiting for Prince Charming. I need fresh air!"

Octavia lifted a brow back at the blonde, "You're implying that I'm your Prince Charming?" She asked, tipping her head to the side when Clarke started biting her smile from widening.

"Maybe.."

Octavia rolled her eyes. Clarke grinned brightly at her friend and walked quickly back to her and took hold of her hand. She threw her other to her head.

"Oh! Sweet relief! My days of being imprisoned are over!" Clarke loudly cried out in a dramatic voice that had Octavia to looking around them frantically for scouts or worse, Lexa's guards. Clarke didn't care. She just continued her game, turning to beam at the warrior beside her, "Strong is the knight that saved me!"

Before Octavia could voice her concern that Clarke had clearly got a big case of the pregnancy crazies, the blonde is leaning in to kiss her quickly on the mouth. Octavia immediately lurched backwards in shock and stared at her chuckling friend.

"Oh man, you should see your face!" Clarke giggled a little uncontrollably, wiping the tears from her eyes.

Octavia stared wide eyed at her.

"What the fuck, Clarke?!" She growled angrily wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

Clarke sobered up a little and smiled back at her.

"Relax, it was just a kiss. Prince Charming always gets a kiss after he saves the girl"

"Yeah? Well I bet he never had to worry about the princess' girlfriend tearing him a new one when she found out" Octavia snarled back under her breath.

Clarke isn't at all fazed. She just tapped her chin thoughtfully.

"Kinky" she winked at the younger girl glared over at her and reached out to tug on the warrior's hands to get them both walking again.

Octavia hesitated. She wasn't sure she wanted to go anywhere with Clarke when she seemed real eager to her murdered. Octavia glanced back at the tall pale structure towering over the trees in the distance behind them. She quickly wondered how hard it would be to dump the princess back in her tower.

"O?"

Octavia turned her head. Her eyes settled on Clarke's blue ones looking at her in apology and beg. She could easily read Clarke's fear to go back to Polis so soon. And she knew it wasn't from a fear of Lexa. The two women were beyond besotted with each other. Octavia looks at Clarke and suddenly sees herself in the blonde, trapped and craving the outside world but forced to stay inside where she was apparently safe. Because others told her so.

Octavia sighed with the distant memories. She didn't wish that on anybody.

"Okay" she relented, smiling when Clarke beamed at her. She was brought into a bone crushing hug after.

"Thanks so much! I owe you one" Clarke all but cried into Octavia's shoulder.

The blonde feels so relieved it made her want to cry. All she has craved in the last few weeks is space and quiet away from the city and away from Lexa's overbearing guards. She craved the open spaces and the green of the woods, and the loneliness of the wild. Lonely days in her room now are often spent telling her growing bump stories of her time in the wilderness, before Roan had captured her. Clarke's nostalgia for it had her creeping around Lexa's back. The city was too cramped. She was thirsty to breathe again. And Octavia was her only shot to get that freedom.

The other girl awkwardly patted her on the back when the hug drew out.

"Don't mention it" She mumbled. Clarke laughed but Octavia pulled her back to look her in the eye, "Like, seriously, don't mention it. Lexa would kill me"

Clarke drew herself further back, with a little sadness reaching her blue eyes. She shrugged when Octavia frowned for the sudden change in her mood.

"Lexa seems more preoccupied with her maps these days" she mumbled trailing her left hand over her bump protectively. Her baby softly nudged her in return. She sighed knowing they both missed Lexa being with them. She told herself they would both have to get used to it.

"Hey"

Octavia strode to Clarke's side and gently tucked a stray strand of golden hair back behind Clarke's ear. The blonde's head tipped a little into Octavia's hand, and her brow scrunched up as if in pain. It made Octavia wonder how long it had been since Lexa last gave affection to her girlfriend. She felt bad guessing it was probably a while if Clarke was reacting so much to this friendly affection.

Clarke looked up sensing what Octavia must be thinking. Octavia smiled at the guilty look on Clarke's face.

"Lexa loves the ground you walk on" she told the blonde strongly, "And this kid? I never thought I'd see that grounder smile. But she hasn't stopped since you announced the pregnancy"

A tiny drift of a smile came to the corners of Clarke's mouth then and it makes Octavia regret her next words. She didn't want to upset Clarke. But she had to be told how it was. Octavia cursed her own luck having to be the one to say it.

"But she is still the commander, Clarke"

Clarke's smile faded. She nodded as if she had heard this conversation too many times before. And maybe she had. But Octavia refused to let her believe that was it. That Lexa was Heda and that was it. She knew for Lexa it was deeper than that. Clarke had to understand that too.

"Even though she wants to, Lexa can't just abandon her duties to be with you. Her job is to keep the peace. Otherwise mini Heda here," Octavia's hand pressed gently next to Clarke's on the blonde's stomach, "They will be born into the same chaotic world we finally just got to leave. You really want that for your kid?"

Clarke shook her head no. They'd all fought for years to come this far. She didn't wish that life on any child. And especially not her own. It'd been the whole point she had fought in the first place.

Clarke looked back to Octavia beside her and she smiled nostalgically at her friend. Octavia shifted a little on the spot not knowing what the blonde was thinking. She felt nervous and embarrassed for being so soft. Especially because for the first time ever she'd been defending Lexa. It's not exactly in her nature to do that. Clarke's smiling at her makes her feel stupid.

"What?" She snapped out moodily without thinking. Clarke's smile just grew a little wider.

"When did you grow up?" Clarke asked causing Octavia's brow to rise again.

The blonde chuckled watching the surprise hit Octavia's eyes while she thought it over herself. She didn't know. Between all the blood and war, and the ever constant drive to survive, there was never a time to stop and think about themselves, to see the change firsthand. It was always one problem after another.

Octavia frowned thinking over all the struggles she'd been through herself, and tried to compare them to her few childhood memories. She'd always been hiding. Always fighting, trying to survive. Had she really grown up? Or was everybody else just finally seeing her for the first time? Because to Octavia she hadn't changed or grown up. She was pretty sure she'd just always been this way.

The warrior just shrugged with her own musings and smiled over at the blonde watching her.

"When did any of us?" She countered and took her hand away from Clarke's bump.

Clarke shrugged too.

"I don't know" she looked thoughtfully up at the sky a moment, "I stopped watching when Raylah started"

Octavia's face crinkled up immediately remembering her own discovery of the mechanic and the trader tangled together in the back of the rover one day. She shivered freshly grossed out again.

"I still have nightmares of Raven's screams" she shared in a feeble mumble. She shuddered again with the memory.

Clarke smirked back, "Jealous dreams from the sounds of it" she teased lightly. She knew Octavia and Raven have always been a little close. She'd always wondered by how much.

Octavia rolls her eyes at Clarke's suspicious smile and began a brisk walk away from the other girl, "Not everybody is gay, Clarke" She mumbled a little too quickly.

Clarke smirked as she walked after her into the woods.

"I know. I am one of those people, Octavia"

Octavia just smiled.

"Sorry. I forgot. You're not attracted to women. Just moody commanders"

Clarke grinned back at Octavia's weak blow, "When they look like Lexa, can you blame me?"

Octavia pretended to think it over then shook her head.

"I guess not. Moody as she gets, she is a total fucking bomb"

Octavia's smirk got slapped away by Clarke's hand on her arm. She stood still against her body wanting to fight back and instead raised a brow at the other woman. Clarke just looked meanly back at her.

"Watch it!" She snapped angrily, "That certain bomb belongs to us" she points at her pregnant belly and half seriously growls at the other girl, "Lexa is all ours"

Octavia raised her hands in immediate surrender. She's a little shocked at how serious Clarke had taken her. And amused. Clarke looked like she was seconds away from hitting her again. She pitied whatever poor soul ever tried to take Lexa from Wanheda.

"You can have her" she mumbled before Clarke could growl at her again.

Clarke nodded, glad that Octavia backed off and embarrassed that she had reacted the way she did when they'd simply been joking. Since when did she get possessive?

Clarke shook it off and walked on. She'd worry about it later.

Octavia allowed herself to quietly laugh under her breath before she followed protectively behind. They'd planned to visit the river to cool off for a while. If they wanted to make it there before anybody realised they was gone they'd have to hurry.

Octavia ducked under a branch as they headed further into the woods and kindly held it up for her friend to pass under. Clarke gave her a thanking grin and walked on to the path that would lead them to the river's clearing. The warrior smiled to herself seeing Clarke speed up a little more when she saw it herself. She understood why. Their destination was so close.

She forgot how contagious relief can feel when you're supposed to be cautious.

Octavia stopped walking while Clarke started a new conversation about some crazy baby dream she had the other night. Octavia was certain she had heard something over the blonde's rambling. Like twigs breaking under foot nearby.

Octavia pushed her hearing. It could just be an animal. Maybe a deer they've scared being loud. But she didn't like how quiet it seemed around her all of a sudden. Like something bad is going to happen. It has the hairs on the back of her neck standing on end. Octavia didn't like it at all.

Her eyes locked on Clarke still walking and talking a few steps ahead of her. And her senses rushed into hyperdrive. Octavia could feel the cold of the wind blowing up her back. Could see all the shades of color in Clarke's shirt. She could taste the cool in the air as well as a hint of apple that must be a souvenir from Clare's kiss. She vaguely remembers seeing the blonde crunching on one earlier. And worst, Octavia could hear more twigs breaking. Gently like the feet snapping them are treading with the lightest touch. Trying not to be heard. Trying to sneak closer.

Automatically the warrior tensed her body and planted her feet defensively, readying herself for a surprise attack when the snapping became deliberately louder to the side of her. She turned her head a fraction toward it and breathed deeply.

Slowly Octavia's hand reached back for the sword on her back. She had the leather pommel in her grip and pulled just an inch out of its sheath when a body exploded from the brush behind her and slammed her harshly into the ground.

Winded and dizzy Octavia struggled to react straight away. A weak voice in the back of her head says she has to get up and protect Clarke. But when she tried there was a weight over her waist stopping her move her legs and a knife pressed to her throat. Octavia opened her eyes to her attacker and immediately regretted it.

Angry brown eyes burned like charcoal down at her. Pursed lips drew thinner in a harsh cold disapproval Octavia is only more than familiar with. Octavia knew not to show how relieved she feels at recognising the warrior pinning her down. She'd most likely be killed for it.

"Hi Indra" The younger warrior coughed still trying to catch her breath.

She tilted her head up to peer over the older woman's shoulder to make sure Clarke was okay. When she recognised Lexa's jacket, she quickly decided it best to stay quiet.

"Would you like to explain what you were doing with Wanheda out away from the city's protection without a guard?" Indra growled slowly, with definite anger in her tone.

Octavia felt angry herself looking back at her old mentor.

"I am more than capable of looking after Clarke on my own!" She growled back. She was offended Indra would think otherwise. After everything Octavia had done over the years to prove she was worthy of the title warrior, she'd hoped her teacher would show some pride. Just a little.

The knife was pressed dangerously closer to her throat in reply. And Indra locks eyes with Octavia with a long cold stare the young warrior easily and defiantly reciprocates.

"What were you thinking?!"

Lexa's voice growling furiously breaks through the warriors' silent argument and makes both women forget their anger. They both turned their heads to watch their Heda square off against her blonde lover.

Lexa looked angry, downright furious even, that Clarke would endanger her life like that. And their baby's. And for what? A trip to the river? Her whole body stood rigid in anger as she glared down at Clarke. Her hands started shaking with her rage when Clarke glared straight back at her.

"I was thinking that I'm sick of being trapped inside day after day!" Clarke snapped back furiously at her girlfriend, "You can't just lock me up, Lexa! It's not right and it sure as hell is not good for my baby"

Lexa's green eyes darkened and pierced Clarke's blue ones furiously.

"Your baby?" She repeated in a low rumbling growl. She hadn't missed Clarke's deliberate try to exclude her, like she was throwing her from their family. She was surprised how easily Clarke had said it. How little regret she showed having said it. It made Lexa angrier.

Clarke's jaw tightened being on the receiving end of one of Lexa's infamous rages, "Sorry" she spat back at her lover, just as angry, "I just assumed seeing as you rarely even bother with me anymore, you'd forgotten we were expecting a child"

Her words blew cold into Lexa's skin. And colder inside her heart. The commander stumbled back a step and looked guilty to her lover. She struggled with what to say, with how she felt. She was torn between screaming a defence back at Clarke and pulling her close to show she hadn't forgotten. She'd maybe been a little distant but that didn't mean she had forgotten her princess and the life they had created together.

Lexa heard a quiet voice talking behind her and remembered with embarrassment how they have an audience.

"Indra" she called out behind her without removing her gaze from Clarke's fiercer one, "Take Octavia and leave us"

Octavia yelped as Indra hauled her quickly and roughly to her feet. She stumbled upright and looked over at her friend with worried eyes. Clarke just nodded at her to go with Indra. But Octavia doesn't. She took a step forward. She was determined to speak up and take the blame, to tell Lexa it was her idea for Clarke to leave the city for the day. Because she could tell from the way the two women looked at each other that if nobody stopped this pointless argument now it would escalate too far.

"Heda-"

Octavia's speech was stolen from her quickly. She felt a hand on the top of her head, spinning it to face forward as she's marched forcefully out of the clearing back towards the city. She huffed to herself while Indra continued to shove her along.

Clarke watched them go and then turned back to Lexa. Her eyes peeled over the commander's pale skin and tired eyes. Lexa looks exhausted. Clarke could barely summon the energy to care though. It's not a surprise to her. At this point Lexa deserves it.

"What's going on?" She asks crossing her arms and giving Lexa her best game face.

Lexa's gaze never looks away. And Clarke thinks Lexa could at least have the decency to avoid her eye before she tries to lie to her. To feel bad about it.

"Nothing is going on. Your paranoia that there is is causing-" Lexa stopped when Clarke prodded her sharply in the chest. The other woman moved closer looking angry again. It has Lexa swallowing nervously. Clarke hadn't been this mad in years.

"Don't you dare!" the blonde slowly growled at her, "You've been acting crazy this last month. Tucking me away, refusing to let me out of your tower like the damn prisoner I used to be" Lexa winces but Clarke hasn't finished yet, "You refuse to tell me what's wrong. I could help. Lexa, I could"

Lexa started shaking her head, "You can't help in this, Clarke" she spoke softly with eyes begging Clarke to understand. But its clear that the blonde doesn't.

Lexa took a step forward but clarke moved back. Lexa stopped with a fallen expression when she realises the distance that had grown between them because of her, because of her fear regarding the clans and their continued unrest. She had tried so hard to keep Clarke away from it all. To protect her from the worries she believed belonged to Heda alone. They were her clans, her people. It was Lexa's burden to carry. Not Clarke's. And especially not their child's too.

"Lexa..."

Clarke's voice is so low and so sad. Lexa closes her eyes and a soft hand touched her face. She gasped despite herself because somehow in the past few days..or maybe it could be weeks now... she'd allowed herself to forget the electric feel of Clarke's skin against her own. Lexa realised all too suddenly that maybe she had taken things too far in trying to protect Clarke. By trying to keep Clarke close, she'd only thrown her away. Lexa hated herself for it.

"Lex, look at me" Clarke ordered and Lexa obeys.

She slowly opened her eyes and looked down at the watery blue ones staring back at her. Clarke looks so miserable. So tired. It breaks Lexa's heart.

"What's going on?" Clarke desperately whispered, moving closer when Lexa pursed her lips and shook her head in response, "Lexa, you have to tell me. Before this goes too far and-" Clarke cut herself off realising where her train of thought was headed. She hoped Lexa didn't notice.

"And..?" Lexa prompted, swallowing sharply. Her heart started thumping scared in her chest. She's already so very scared of what Clarke might say, might decide.

Clarke closed her eyes briefly to summon some strength. Then she looked back at Lexa.

"Before you push me too far away" she whispered hoarsely around the pain in stinging inside her chest.

Lexa opens her mouth to argue but Clarke couldn't let her speak yet. Not if she wanted to remain holding control of the conversation.

"I know, you probably don't mean to. But that's all this is doing. Keeping me inside, refusing to let me do anything.. Keeping secrets.." Clarke sighed tiredly to herself, "Whatever's going on, I want to help. We're in this together, right? All three of us"

Lexa stared down at her silently. Maybe Clarke was right. Maybe keeping her and the baby safe would be easier if she knew the dangers that threatened to surround them right now. Lexa had wanted to keep Clarke unaware. To handle everything herself. Because Clarke had a tendency to try to fix things herself, usually placing herself in danger first. It was something Lexa loved and despised in the blonde. It always made her go mad with worry.

But maybe Clarke was right. They always resolved issues together and soon she would have to handle another voice demanding to be informed too.

Lexa pressed her hand to Clarke's stomach, and she smiled feeling her child kick hard against her palm. Clarke had been right. He would always side with his mother.

The commander let out a deep breath before she met Clarke's eyes again. The determination and care she found in them warmed her heart enough to let her speak its fears to her Sky princess. She knew she would regret it. But she decided the moment had finally come to tell Clarke.

"War is brewing, Clarke"

The words tasted bitter in her mouth and miserably she thought back to the last time she had uttered those exact words to her blonde. She'd snatched Clarke from her freedom then too.

Without thinking Lexa's hands reached up to Clarke's face, fingers brushing over the blonde's jaw where the gag had once sat tight and pinching. She bowed her head down to touch against Clarke's as she let go of all her breath and dropped her Heda facade. She felt too weak to hold it up anymore.

"I need you" she whispered as breathlessly as she had years ago. And like then she believed it too. She needed Clarke more than anything. Not to strategise or liaise. But to remind her what was worth fighting for, surviving for.

When her world turned to bloody battles and constant death, Lexa needed Clarke to remind her what it felt like to feel alive.

Clarke was silent against the commander. In seven words Lexa had managed to shatter her belief that for once everything was right in the world. All too suddenly her heart is racing and Clarke wants to scream. Had they not paid enough for their peace? Had they not given enough blood yet? She wished suddenly that she'd never demanded an explanation. Wished that Lexa had carried on being selfish and withholding. Clarke could, and would, take a cold distant lover over seeing another war. Easily.

But Lexa had told her, and not just because Clarke had forced her to. Lexa had told her because she didn't have any other choice. Because things had escalated beyond that already. Clarke knew immediately that the coming fight is too close. Just the way Lexa is holding her tells her that. Lexa was afraid. And when Clarke feels a movement inside her and Lexa looks down to it sadly, she suddenly she understands why.

Clarke feels it too now.

Suddenly Clarke is terrified.


	6. Day 128 - Here Comes The Storm

Clarke was fuming. Her body was humming beneath her skin with hot red rage. Rage that was boiling up ready to be directed straight at Lexa for having kept everything a secret for so long.

She clenches her hands as she walks with Lexa close on her heels quickly back into the city and back to the tower that Clarke was beginning to hate so much. Clarke looks up at the tall central structure of Polis and now she really does see it as a prison. That's all it's been for the last few months, right. A little place of make believe she called home while Lexa used it as a holding cell to keep her in. Just looking at it pissed Clarke off some more.

The Sky Princess stiffly entered the tower with Lexa, who doesn't question where Clarke is leading her. The couple pass Octavia and Indra just inside the building. The young warrior timidly greeted Clarke and the commander with nothing but a guilty look of apology. She received a scathing glare from her friend in return. Clarke isn't stupid. She knew Octavia knew about this all along. And it hurts almost as much as Lexa's secrecy did. She thought they were close, family almost. Knowing that one of her closest friends had helped her girlfriend lie to her like this just fuels the fire of rage inside the blonde.

Clarke walked silently on, ignoring the two warriors. She made sure to keep her distance from Lexa in the elevator ride up to the top level of the tower, where the two of them walked together to the throne room. Clarke was too angry to talk, too angry to be too close to the woman behind her anger. Too angry to do anything but growl internally at her girlfriend for this betrayal.

Lexa remained silent. She could tell Clarke was upset by the news of war, and really she didn't expect less from her princess. To know their whole world had been a big show of pretend for the last four months would anger anyone. Though everything in her screams to go to her hurting love, to hold and reassure her, comfort her any way she can, Lexa holds off. She knows Clarke. She knows how much it hurts being on the receiving end of the Sky Princess' anger when she'd felt betrayed. She remembers well. Lexa knows not to prod the beast.

So she obediently followed Clarke through the city and up the tower. All the way to her throne room where the cracks in Clarke's calm expression start to appear when she kicks open the doors to the room and impatiently barks a dismissal at Lexa's guards, who scurry out of the room seeing the thunder on Clarke's face. They don't even stay long enough to make sure Lexa wishes them gone too. They're much too afraid of Wanheda and what she might do if they test her patience. Lexa doesn't care. She would have yelled at them to go had they disobeyed the Sky princess. She would prefer to have it out with the blonde privately.

Clarke strides still fuming through the cold and dimly lit room towards Lexa's throne. She cast the seat a longing look when her feet ached beneath her, but she ignores it to spin around to shoot the commander a long glare.

Lexa looked away. She can't stand that look from Clarke.

"Tell me everything" Clarke slowly growled at her.

Lexa let out a long breath. In her chest her heart was pounding sickeningly. She's dreaded this moment for so long.

"Some of the clans have become... restless" she began slowly, raising her eyes back to Clarke to check her reaction. When Clarke gives none, Lexa continues, "It started last fall. With just a raid here and there. Nothing too concerning, easily dealt with. But now... Now we have confirmed reports of an army moving"

Clarke takes in this information calmly. She nods and crosses her arms. Lexa keeps from smiling. In the moment Clarke looks eleven years younger about to charge on the Maunon again. It sort of takes Lexa's breath away.

"Which clans?" The blonde asks, mind already whizzing with her own theories and solutions.

"Blue cliff, the Horse clans to the east and.." Lexa hesitates. She knows this next piece of news will really upset Clarke.

The blonde senses Lexa holding back and scowls at her to tell her. Lexa sighs with defeat.

"Delphikru is our main concern. They are the army moving this way"

Clarke stared back at the other woman for a long moment and then she laughs in disbelief. She shakes her head at Lexa.

"Ryon wouldn't do that" She defends her old war friend quickly, growing angry again when Lexa looks at her sympathetically, "He wouldn't! I know him! We fought together at the borderlands! I delivered his first child. He-"

"Is dead, Clarke" Lexa mumbled sadly watching the utter shock ripple over Clarke's features. She had felt the same when she'd first heard of Ryon's end. He had been a good friend to them both.

The commander came quickly to Clarke's side when the blonde raggedly gasped and clutched at her chest. Lexa reached out needing to offer comfort of some sort to her blonde, and touched Clarke's sleeve. She jumped a little in surprise when Clarke ripped her hand away.

Clarke breathes deeply before meeting Lexa's eyes with a hard expression, "How?" She demands.

Lexa fights a wince hearing the raw pain in her girlfriend's voice. She doesn't want to give details. She knows it will only add more to Clarke's grief. But she cannot withhold the truth from her anymore. Clarke deserved to know.

"His father died last winter. News of which was not sent to us like it should have been" Lexa's jaw flexed in irritation before she continued, "Ryon was murdered two weeks after taking up the role of chief in his father's place. His kin too. Around the same time Tex was summoned back to the Yellow Shores. Nobody has come forward to take his place in Polis as Delphikru's ambassador. I can only assume he too is dead"

Lexa straightens her stance then, holding herself tall like she's in a meeting with her clans and flame keepers. Its easier for her to speak when she enters the mind of heda. It gives her little room to let her insane worries regarding Clarke stop her from divulging the truth.

With a heavy breath she calmly tells Clarke, "We believe it was a coup. Delphikru now have a new leader. A man named Sev. One who does not believe in jus nou drein jus daun. One who wants me dead"

Clarke is silent. She's trying to process it all. Her friend's death and the new threat on Lexa's life. It doesn't make much sense. Lexa had changed the old law over a decade ago. It'd been tough but their world had accepted it with time. Things were so much more peaceful now because of it. So why wait so long to defy the commander's rule?

"How close is the army from the city?" She asks falling easily into commander mode too. Lexa both admires and hates it.

""Last scout reports said a week. Maybe two if they're rallying warriors. But the southern perimeter was breached earlier today. The guards arrested what looked like Delphi scouts testing our defences. I have yet to speak with them" She softens a little when Clarke's brow dips into a questioning frown, "I was preoccupied with a certain runaway" She says softly, answering Clarke's unspoken question, hoping that Clarke would at least look at her. She doesn't.

Lexa watches Clarke's eyes blur in and out of focus as she thinks. It's so hard for her to stand there while the blonde digests what's going on. Because Lexa can see the stress already in Clarke. Already her shoulders are tensed with the burden, already her eyes have lost life, already the exhaustion of war has crept back up on her. Lexa has never been able to cope well seeing Clarke in such a state. But now it's worse, because now it's not just Clarke who carries the weight of their troubles. Lexa's eyes flick down to Clarke's bump and she feels her heart beating scared and nervous for their child.

Meanwhile Clarke is struggling to keep calm. The fear she'd felt earlier when Lexa had announced the approach of war is quickly settling back in. Its twists her gut and sends cold flushes across her skin. She feels so dizzy. But she's trying to stay in control of her emotions because she doesn't want Lexa to think she can't handle it. She has to prove she can but its so hard. Where once there was one life to worry for, there's now three. Clarke doesn't care much for herself but for Lexa and their child she is terrified. How is she supposed to fight now she's pregnant? How is she supposed to have Lexa's back?

Clarke feels useless and weak all of a sudden. And angry. So angry. She would have never allowed herself to fall pregnant had they known what was really happening around them. It makes her even more mad at Lexa for being so damn selfish.

Its not fair, She thinks wanting to rage and scream. Its not fair.

Lexa looks back to Clarke's face when her breathing becomes louder with her inability to stay calm. She's shaking angrily. She's furious Lexa would have kept this from her for so long. And Lexa knows that. The commander shakes her head when the guilt becomes too much and slowly she approaches the grieving woman.

"Clarke-"

Clarke turns on her furiously, "Why?!" She asks and then she's yelling uncontrollably at her girlfriend, "Why did you do it, Lexa?! Why couldn't you just trust me enough to tell me?!"

Lexa holds Clarke's glaring eyes steady with her own and stretches her hand out to touch Clarke's cheek. She doesn't miss the way Clarke tries to avoid it. Like she doesn't want to be touched by her. It hurts Lexa deeply.

"Clarke, I-.. You weren't in any condition to bear the news. You're still no-"

Lexa's face snaps unexpectedly to the side under the harsh pressure of Clarke's hand colliding painfully with her right cheek. She even stumbles a little. The commander's jaw clenches against the burning ache spreading across her skin. She touches her fingers to the smarting area and looks back to Clarke who is glaring murder at her. Lexa actually smiles at her princess. It's the first time Clarke had ever struck her outside of training. She's impressed the same time she's heartbroken.

"I deserved that" she admits, lowering her hand.

Clarke sees her dark handprint fading along Lexa's cheek. She knows she should be surprised at herself. But she really couldn't care less right now.

"Oh you deserve much more than that, Lexa!" Clarke spits harshly at her, "I decide whether or not I can handle something. Pregnant or not. It's my life. My choice. How dare you take that from me?!"

Lexa glanced away unable to have Clarke's usual loving blue eyes hold onto her with so much betrayed hate. She wants to apologise. She wants to beg for Clarke to understand her. She'd grovel on her knees if she had to. She can't stand having Clarke angry at her.

"Hodnes-" Clarke halts her with a sharp flick of her hand.

"Don't" the blonde warns with that eyeing look that says she wants to hit Lexa again.

Lexa remains silent then, and timidly watches Clarke watching her. She's completely scared for where the blonde's mind is at right now. And worse, what its doing to their baby. She just hopes he's okay.

Clarke finally speaks after what feels like hours to the commander. Stiffly the blonde raises her chin and sets her jaw. She's still angry. Lexa doesn't blame her.

"What have you done about it?" She asks watching Lexa closely with unintended suspicion. To her surprise Lexa isn't offended. She's relatively calm.

"I've maintained our alliances with the other clans the best I can. And I've sent help where it's been needed. As for everything else.." Lexa bites her lip, "There hasn't been a lot I have been able to do without calling on the armies of the Krus and..."

"Have me notice" Clarke finished for her bitterly. Lexa nodded.

"Shameful to my duty as commander.." Lexa exhaled heavily and hung her head, "I put you ahead of my people this time, Clarke. I listened only to my heart"

Clarke hates how proud she feels. She'd been battling for years against Lexa in this argument. To get Lexa to see that her heart could make good decisions too when used with her head. But she doesn't want to feel that way right now. Right now she feels she should be focusing on the fact her friend is dead, or that an army is marching their way, or that once again they're all just too close to dying.

"Why delphikru?" She asks Lexa in a husky thick voice.

Lexa can see the upset clear in Clarke's eyes. She starts to stride forward but stops seeing Clarke throw her a look to stay back and answer the question. The commander shakes her head.

"I don't know" she answers quietly, "They have always been a peaceful clan, loyal.."

Lexa starts to pace agitated and Clarke can tell from watching that Lexa has asked herself this question too often already. She wonders how many days, nights, weeks the mystery had held the commander's focus. She thinks it's no wonder Lexa had become distant.

"This new chief, Sev," Lexa snarls on the traitor's name, "None of the ambassadors know of him. None of my scouts within Delphikru either. It's like he came out of nowhere"

"That could mean the rest of Delphikru don't agree with him" Clarke replied logically while crossing her arms as Lexa continued to pace in front of her, "Maybe this Sev has the Pike affect"

Lexa pauses for the shortest of seconds hearing that old name. Her lips twist into another angry snarl. She remembers too well that certain Sky fool and his delusional rule over Clarke's people. Pike had been the stake between her and Clarke, the bullet in the gun. It still makes Lexa cringe to think what might have happened to Clarke had she left when she had intended instead of falling into bed with her. Pike had been insane and careless. No doubt he would have sent Clarke back to Lexa in pieces.

Lexa will never regret the moment she watched him drop by drop bleed for his crimes.

"Lexa?"

Lexa blinked and focused back on the blonde stood directly in front of her snapping her fingers for attention. Clarke looked both annoyed and concerned.

"Are you even listening?"

Lexa gave her an apologetic look and asked her to repeat herself. Clarke's expression twisted irritable but she obliged.

"I was asking about the scout reports. The ones you lied about when we visited my mom at the Ark"

Lexa holds Clarke's eyes carefully. She knows this is the part where she must tread oh so carefully because Clarke already looks ready to explode for being lied to. But when that lie also involved news of the lives of her people..

Lexa is ready to admit she's afraid for Clarke's reaction.

The commander swallows against how constricted her throat suddenly feels. She makes sure her voice will be steady before she attempts to explain herself.

"I was given reports of a group moving east of the Ark. I asked Kane to send his scouts"

Clarke is waiting for it. Her entire body is tensed for the expected bad news. There's nothing else it could be when Lexa is tiptoeing with her.

"And?" She prompts holding her arms tightly over her chest so Lexa won't see her hands shaking.

Lexa lets out a breath. She stares at the floor sombrely, "Kane's people never came back" she finally answers daring a look up at her shocked blonde. Lexa looks away again unable to handle the new pain in Clarke's eyes.

"Dead?" Clarke whispers closing her eyes in wait for the dreading confirmation.

Lexa nods, "Im sorry, Clarke"

Clarke swallows and lets out a staggered breath. She's fighting her tears. This news hurt worse than Ryon's death somehow. Maybe because those people hadn't just been her friends. They'd been her people, her kru. Her blood and her responsibility. Her family. A deep pain settles in her chest when she unintentionally starts guessing which ones had died. Their faces in her mind hurt to see.

"There's more" Lexa added taking slow steps towards the shaking blonde.

Clarke opens her eyes and looks back at her approaching girlfriend. Her watery blue eyes are begging with Lexa. She honestly can't take anymore bad news right now. She's already in enough pain. But handling it has always been her job. So she makes herself stand tall, taking a steadying breath to ready herself. She lets Lexa move to stand directly in front of her, just in case she needs the sudden support. Lexa looks down on her with worry but one fierce look from Clarke has her convinced they can take it.

"There are rumours circulating.. of a.. a Natblida leading a second army this way"

Clarke frowns so hard that Lexa wishes she could reach out and smooth her fingers across the deep lines on her brow.

"A Nightblood? Who-"

Clarke's face completely relaxes when it suddenly hits her, and Lexa's hands immediately fly worried to the blonde's wrists.

Clarke pulls herself free. She looks up at Lexa's tired green eyes. She doesn't need to be told to know her suspicions are true. She growls beneath her breath.

"I told you we should have killed her in Syra!" Clarke seethed angrily, "Joken strik skrish!"

She was the one to pace this time, with angry stomps up and down past Lexa's throne while muttering under her breath. It still wasn't enough to rid her memory of the Nightblood's bloody smug smile as she'd fled the battlefield with the commander's mercy.

Lexa watched the blonde amused by her cussing.

"I should have killed her the second that spear hit Nia" she refuted and stepped out in front of her blonde to stop her. She put a calming palm on Clarke's back and tipped her chin up when Clarke didn't push her away, "But I didn't because I knew better. That's why I did nothing in Syra too. Why I stopped you from going after her. Ontari was being controlled both times before. Which makes it possible that she is also being controlled now. If it is even her"

Clarke was shaking her head, "How can you be so certain? She wanted your throne, Lexa! She still does!"

Lexa gave her lover a short smirk, "Then she is more than welcome to come fight me for it" she softly kissed Clarke's temple while the blonde rolled her eyes at her.

"And you've spoken to Roan?"

"Yes. He assured me his help in this matter and even offered to track down Ontari himself"

Clarke looked surprised. Roan was seldom helpful and even more rarely generous. She was immediately suspicious.

"And you accepted that?" She asks Lexa, knowing personally how Lexa regarded Roan's tracking skills.

Lexa shook her head, "No. Azgeda needs their king"

Clarke nods. She understands. She's relieved even. She knows there are plenty in the Ice Nation that would gladly turn against Lexa too in the absence of their king. Lexa was right to refuse Roan. Despite it meaning they'd lost their chance to know for certain if Ontari was involved.

Lexa felt the blonde relax a little against her. She sighed softly into Clarke's skin and bent her head to rest against the blonde's. She felt weighted still, but lighter too somehow. The guilt of lying to Clarke for so long was fading from her heart. Freeing her. Leaving her only with the shame. Something that she carried easier than she had the constant secrecy.

Lexa's hand curved Clarke's side, intent on holding her Sky princess to her, but Clarke pulled it away.

"I'm still pissed at you" she mumbled moving herself from Lexa's reach.

The older woman sighed watching the distance return between them, "Clarke-"

"How could you keep something like this from me?"

Clarke didn't sound angry at Lexa this time. Just disappointed. And that hurt Lexa much more than Clarke's fury ever could.

She turned to her lover and looked down on her with a pleading expression. She didn't want them to fight. She just wanted to explain. She wanted Clarke to understand, to accept the reasons she had done what she did. Lexa knew she had been wrong to keep her in the dark but she believed her reasons were well justified. Surely the blonde would see it that way too?

"I.." she paused a moment and then walked to kneel at Clarke's feet.

Her eyes stayed on Clarke's confused ones while her hands came up beneath Clarke's shirt to rest on the sky girl's stomach. Lexa looked down with a small smile when her child bumped her palm beneath Clarke's skin. She rubbed her thumbs in circles, following the small movements of the baby. It relieved her to know that at least he still wanted her. Even if his mother may not.

"This, Clarke" she husked pressing a kiss to their bump, "I wanted to tell you. I promise you I did. Managing it all without you there by my side has been one of the hardest things I have ever done. There were so many times that I nearly told you. But I worried what the stress would do to the baby. Your mother even-"

"My mom knew you were lying to me about this?!" Clarke cried out and then she followed with a growl, "Of course she knew"

Lexa ruefully smiled at her, "She wants what's best for you, hodnes. We all do" Lexa looked down to her fingers tracing their baby bump, "I didn't know the threat was serious. For a time it wasn't. I believed I could keep you happy if you were unaware. Just until I handled it. I was trying to keep you safe. Both of you"

"So you got everybody else to go along with you? To lie to my face?"

Clarke watches Lexa purse her lips. She knows she's in the wrong. She looks ashamed with herself. Clarke can tell she regrets what she did. And she knows Lexa did everything with the best intention. Maybe she overreacted, but it was for the sake of their child. How can she possibly hate Lexa for that? She doesn't.

But Clarke is still angry. She still feels so betrayed. By Lexa, by her mother. Not to mention all her friends who had gone along with Lexa's big idea. She feels so stupid. How did she not see any of it?

Clarke's mind reels back over the last few months and she wants to laugh bitterly when she realises all the tells were there. Every time Lexa persuaded her away from going outside, every distraction Octavia provided, every single vigilant eye of the guards watching her as she passed their posts... It was all so obvious but she'd been so wrapped up in her happiness to notice, not enough to question it anyway. Clarke should have confronted Lexa a long time ago but she was so eager to live life that she never realised it wasn't life at all. Just surviving again. Its enough to make her tear up. She curses her goddamn pregnancy hormones when it all starts to overwhelm her and make her cry.

Lexa looks up at her girlfriend. When she sees the tears slipping down Clarke's face Lexa rises to her feet again and cups a palm to Clarke's face.

"Clarke, I'm sorry. Truly" she gazes gently down at her lover, lovingly trying to appeal to her while she brushes the tears aside, "I know what I did was wrong but you must believe it was done through fear of losing one or both of you to the stress all of this would have brought on. I realise now how stupid a decision it was. Especially now that everything has carried beyond my control... I-...I was scared. So scared... and-... Please, Clarke, understand that it wasn't any slight against your intelligence or your standing as my partner, hodnes. You must believe that"

Clarke's watery blue eyes look deep into Lexa's green ones. She stares at the commander for the longest time until finally she breathes calmly and tips her head into Lexa's palm touching her cheek. Lexa tastes hope seeing Clarke nod in her hold.

She smiles tearfully at her blonde and presses firmly on Clarke's cheek with her palm, "Yu gafen ste ma gafen, Clarke. They always have been. Now his are too"

Clarke feels Lexa's other hand pressing on their bump. Their baby kicks beneath it's mother's palm as if to accept her vow like Clarke had so many years ago. The blonde closes her eyes. For a moment she sees Lexa on her knees before her declaring her protection and fealty. For a moment her heart races with the same pride and pain she'd felt that day. For a moment she remembers Lexa's honest eyes promising her everything, for her and her people. Lexa had vowed to do anything and everything to ensure Clarke's safety that day. And now years later she still held her vow. Clarke and her people. Clarke and their baby.

"I understand" Clarke whispers huskily and takes hold of Lexa's hand. She kisses the commander's knuckles and gives her a gentle smile that Lexa returns whole heartedly until Clarke firmly adds, "But you're still sleeping on the couch tonight"

Clarke leaves the throne room after that in a brisk manner that warns Lexa against following her. She has work to do and having Lexa hanging around her will only slow her down. Right now she needs to be alone to fix everything.

Lexa is left in the darkening room to stand there by her empty throne staring dumbly at the space Clarke has just vacated. She's not entirely certain what just happened. Did Clarke forgive her or was the banishment from their bed a new form of punishment? Lexa supposes she will find out for sure later.

A roll of thunder crackling past the balcony outside makes the commander look up again and Lexa smiles thinking it's coincidental presence with Clarke's anger is amusing. She watches the rain begin in a hard sheet past her throne. There's a smell of lightening in the air; a promise of trouble coming.

Lexa strides to her throne and collapses into it. She's exhausted. Lexa runs a hand down her face while thoughts of her princess worry her mind. She's scared for Clarke's intentions right now. She knows the younger girl is probably already awash with ideas to fix this situation she's been finally enlightened to. Lexa knows she will have to stop Clarke going too far, but she's afraid to incase Clarke will see it as yet another breach of her freedom.

Lexa huffs feeling frustrated. She loves their baby but she knows all of this would be extremely easier if Clarke wasn't so pregnant. Lexa is already dreading the coming war and clan meetings. Clarke is rightly angry and upset but completely hormonal too. Wanheda would definitely rear her vicious head the moment anybody spoke up against her.

The room ahead of Lexa lights up with the lightening fork tearing across the sky behind her. The next roll of thunder that follows seconds behind is so loud it shakes the tower.

The commander of clans sighs tiredly to herself.

"Here comes the storm"


	7. Week 23 - Together

_**Chapters get longer from here on out! :)**_

* * *

Clarke walked into the quiet dark of the commander's room and let out a long tired groan the moment the door was closed shut behind her.

She felt exhausted. The last four weeks had been taxing on the sky princess. Too many war councils had taken up all her time. Too many problems kept rising up, higher and higher over her head until she felt as if she might drown beneath them all. She'd well forgotten the pressure of war in the last several years, and had taken for granted the moments she'd been given in the peaceful time without it. Between trying to understand this new overdue battle that was said to be coming their way and devising a way to completely avoid it, Clarke rarely had time anymore to rest.

And it showed.

Her body ached from spending too long standing during the day. Her eyes stung from the extensive lack of sleep. Her mind never settled. It was always whizzing with the danger the was looming closer and the dark threat hanging over her and her family. It was a constant headache. It seemed the stress was indeed too much for the blonde but she refused to stop even for a moment. To let it show. This had all escalated because she hadn't been involved in the first place. She bet had she been informed sooner much of it could have been avoided. Instead she was now scrambling for a solution before it was too late.

Again.

Clarke tiredly pulled her jacket off with a wince for her sore arms and aching back. Her baby kicked inside her when she stretched out and threw the garment down onto the couch. She put a hand over her bump and rubbed it soothingly with her palm.

"Don't you start too" She sighed down to it softly, "I've dealt with enough children for one day"

Her mind went back to the disastrous clan meeting she'd arranged earlier that day. The sight of the ambassadors arguing over the silliest of things had made her want to bark at them all to be quiet and take a time out. Something Clarke knew Lexa had been thinking too when she'd dared a glance across the room at the commander. Lexa had worn the same expression she gave whenever she contemplated throwing someone off the tower balcony.

Clarke sighed again thinking of her lover and made her way to the bed.

She'd barely spoken to Lexa since that day inside the throne room when the commander had shattered her perfect illusion of her world. She'd been so angry with lexa, so furious. She'd refused to forgive Lexa that day for her actions. And she knew it was much to the commander's dismay. Lexa had believed she had solved everything by telling Clarke. That Clarke wouldn't be angry with her once she understood. Well, Lexa had been in for a terrible shock.

That night when Clarke had finally allowed the flame keepers to retire from reporting to her and she'd dragged herself away from slaving over the many kru reports Lexa had kept hidden from her for months, Clarke had gone to their room and found Lexa sat on the edge of the bed looking like a child ready to be scolded. Clarke hadn't scolded her. She'd merely slipped wordlessly into bed, ignoring Lexa completely. Her only words to the commander had been to reaffirm her banishment to the couch.

The day after Clarke had awoken early with a nostalgic fire burning inside her veins. She'd felt as she had years before. Hopeless and yet still determined to save her people. As if she were mere moments from slipping into a deep precipice but held a tiny flame to fight the dark at the bottom. The exact same way she'd felt the day of the battle of mount weather.

Clarke had exited the commander's room that day and had immediately demanded to see the ambassadors without Lexa present. A little unorthodox maybe but Clarke had still been too angry to care for Lexa's feelings or her people's traditions regarding the matter. She'd felt that the fast approach of war sufficed enough as an excuse for her demanding behaviour. And, quite surprisingly to Clarke, nobody had questioned heda's absence. At least, not within Clarke's presence. Probably the entire of Lexa's council had been warned of the couple's falling out. The way they side eyed the blonde and avoided looking directly at her during talks certainly informed her to their knowledge of Lexa's secrecy before. Which did nothing to calm Clarke's attitude towards Lexa.

Lexa had hardly tried to reconcile with her girlfriend after that. She'd have days where she spoke softly to Clarke and sent her loving looks. And nights where she'd enter their bedroom and kiss the blonde's head thinking she was asleep, whispering yet another miserable apology before retreating to her lonely blankets. Each time Clarke would spend that night silently crying against Lexa's abandoned pillow.

It wasn't like she didn't want Lexa to sleep with her. Much the opposite in fact. But Lexa by her own choice kept refusing to re-enter her own bed after that first night. Believing that Clarke's excluding her from her own council had been another warning for her to stay away. Clarke knew the grounder was too ashamed by what she'd done to face her properly. This distance growing steadily between them, she knew, was the result of her own anger and Lexa trying to punish herself.

And Clarke hated it.

The sky girl looked across the room from her bed to the blankets folded neatly over the couch. It sent a sting through her chest knowing Lexa would be bundling herself on top of it again tonight. The blonde hated the separation. She missed having Lexa's arms around her while she slept. Missed her hand rubbing her belly as she dozed off. Missed waking up in the middle of the night to listen to Lexa telling their bump stories of his mother because she couldn't sleep. And she missed waking in the morning the most. Clarke missed opening her eyes and having Lexa's gorgeous green ones staring back at her in complete devotion.

Being angry with her girlfriend sucked big time.

Clarke struggled out of her remaining clothes and stood still a moment, enjoying the cold Polis air chilling her naked hot skin. The warm flushes were really starting to grind on the blonde. They came at the silliest of times, making her sweat and flounder in front of councils, and worse keep her up all night in discomfort. Her only reprieve was the short moments morning and night when she shed her clothes and soaked up the autumn air blowing through the tower. It was becoming a concern but she wasn't ready yet to face her mother to ask for advice. She was as angry with her as she was Lexa. Because she was another who had completely disregarded clarke's trust and feelings. Her own mother.

Clarke told herself to quit thinking about it all before she got angry again and slipped herself into bed beneath the furs. She settled down on her side of the bed with her back to the door. It was uncomfortable due to her growing belly but she sucked it up because she didn't like having to watch Lexa sidle guiltily into the room.

"You know," She mumbled looking down at her bump beneath the furs. She traced her finger over it sadly, "I think your nomi was braver when she was younger. She would definitely not be letting me get away with being this mad at her. Twenty year old Lexa would be chewing my head off right about now"

Clarke smiled nostalgically remembering the arguments she'd had with the fierce commander when they'd first met. Looking back on it now she thought most of them had been utterly ridiculous. Her smile widened remembering the furious look Lexa had tried to give her when confronted by the blonde in her war tent years ago. It'd been the first time Lexa had really lost her temper in front of her. She'd looked pretty terrifying but Clarke had never been afraid. She'd fought right back, throwing Lexa's raised guard back at her. Clarke remembered the verbal lashing she'd given the commander, and way Lexa's eyes had dilated with fear the moment she'd ran out of space to retreat from Clarke before she'd gathered herself enough to growl at her to get out.

It'd been easy to piss Lexa off back then. Now Clarke would be lucky to get a quick scowl from the commander.

She sighed loudly to herself. She sort of missed it.

"Looks like she's lost her aggression a little" she whispered to her baby, chuckling softly when it thumped her fingers.

"I wonder why" Lexa's amused voice drifted over to the blonde from across the room, causing Clarke to jump in fright.

Lexa's hope for them to speak automatically dropped seeing her girlfriend shift silently in the bed immediately after. She'd slipped into the room thinking Clarke was asleep already, as she had been the last few nights by the time Lexa had retired to bed. It'd made her heart swell to find the blonde awake and speaking of her to their child. To hear the happy nostalgia in her princess' voice speaking of their past. The commander had let her hope fly too high listening in. Seeing her Skaiprisa curled up away from her it was clear to Lexa. Clarke still hated her.

The commander let out a tired breath and turned to her pathetic corner of the room.

Clarke quietly listened as Lexa gently moved her discarded jacket onto the table and then quietly undressed herself for bed. When she heard Lexa lay herself down against the couch, Clarke pulled Lexa's pillow toward her to hold in her arms in Lexa's place. She felt a few tears escape her realising it no longer smelled of the commander.

Lexa had been staring into space when she heard Clarke's muffled voice. She thought at first the blonde was continuing her story for the baby. So she carried on with her thoughts, allowing Clarke her privacy. Lexa thought of her blonde and her baby and her people. All were lives she was charged to protect no matter the cost. And she held no problem with that duty. What she did have a problem with was the lateness of their enemies.

Her scouts had issued her a two week warning at the most. Sev had delayed his army's movements by another two weeks, and Lexa didn't trust why. What reason would he have to delay the intended battle? Did he not realise that to prolong the wait only gave Lexa time to fortify her city against him?

Lexa's paranoia over it all had her obsessing. While Clarke had been busy organising help for different villages and coming up with defensive strategies for each one, Lexa had been occupied building Polis' defences, even enrolling the help of Skaikru's notorious boom expert.

It hadn't been hard convincing Raven to help. But it had been hard reining her in. Not content with supplying Polis with simple mines and makeshift grenades, Raven had also built explosive arrows, fire bombs and, what Lexa believed to be completely over the top even for Raven; sentry guns that could fire large metal stakes filled with acid sap that imploded on impact. Despite her initial misgivings Lexa couldn't help but be impressed.

"I'm half tempted to make you a war general" She'd told the girl after the demonstrations of the new weapons.

Raven had barked with laughter back at her.

"Like I'm not already higher up in rank than that" She'd smirked knowingly at Lexa then, "Don't sweat it. Aunty Rae knows how to kick ass"

Lexa smiled briefly up at the shadows playing in the candlelight above her. The memory lit the dark in her heart a moment. It felt good to know she could rely on Clarke's people to help. Lexa gained relief knowing she could trust Clarke's safety in their hands should anything happen to her.

Her smile slowly fell remembering how she may be leaving Clarke's life and their baby's to Skaikru in the coming days.

Lexa's body filled with tension and tired adrenaline once more. She ground her teeth chewing over the battle details again for the billionth time that day. For days now she had stayed awake as Clarke slept. With her sword laying unsheathed on the table beside her and a knife in her hand. War was coming. War was coming for them both. Under the heat of the sun or the cool veil of night, they didn't know. But Lexa would be damned if she wasn't ready to fight it.

Her tight grip on her knife loosened a fraction catching the definite sound of her lover crying behind her. Lexa's head tilted back and her eyes searched through the dark for the body of the other woman. Her heart hurt hearing more quiet sobs leave the blonde.

"Clarke?"

Lexa's voice sounded small and timid in the heavy silence of the room. It just reminded them both of the space between them now.

The Sky princess waited with her breath held, hoping Lexa would say something, anything. When the commander gave nothing but a slow sigh and a mumble of goodnight, Clarke rolled to her back and peered over at her.

Lexa was laying on her back staring up at the ceiling with tired eyes. In the dim candlelight Clarke could just make out Lexa's sad expression. And she couldn't stand it.

"Come here" she called out in a cracked voice.

Lexa looked over at her. She couldn't see Clarke but her expression shifted uncertainly like she believed she'd heard Clarke wrong.

"Clarke?"

"Come here" Clarke ordered harder in a much stronger voice.

Lexa slowly sat up and tried to study Clarke's expression through the dark. She rose to her feet after a moment of deliberation and walked towards the bed with a candle in hand. Her heart was pounding in her chest and it leapt skywards into her throat the moment she stopped at the bed. The blonde's blue eyes watered back at her while she lifted the furs in a silent invite into the bed.

Lexa set the candle on the stand beside the bed then stared down at her girlfriend trying to figure out what Clarke wanted. When the first new tears began sliding down Clarke's face the commander quickly bent down to softly kiss them away, no longer caring if Clarke approved of the contact or not. She could not bear the weight in her chest seeing her lover so hurt. She needed to comfort her blonde. She needed to make an attempt of making things better.

Lexa felt herself tear up behind her closed eyes when she felt Clarke begin to tremble. Clarke's fingertips glanced along Lexa's jaw and, just as Lexa told herself to expect to be shoved away, Clarke encouraged her face down.

Soft damp lips travelled along her cheek to the corner of her mouth, leaving a trail of fire in their wake. Clarke paused a second to nuzzle her nose affectionately against Lexa's before her lips brushed against Lexa's mouth for the first time in the longest time, filling the commander with nervous butterflies and a pounding heart.

Clarke was kissing her. Lexa knew it wasn't total forgiveness. She knew she would probably never earn that. But for now Lexa couldn't bring herself to question why it was happening. For now she just needed to feel her lover, hold her, kiss her, love her. Tomorrow it could all be stolen from her.

Lexa leant forward with her palms braced on the bed. She felt Clarke tilt her head and lick at her lip and it made her breathe softly back at the blonde. She slowly sat down and raised a hand to Clarke's wavy hair. She tucked her fingers into it, holding Clarke against her as she deepened the kiss.

The blonde sighed feeling Lexa's tongue invade her mouth. And the tears that had begun earlier restarted their fall down her cheeks. She'd never realised just how much she had missed Lexa. It was only now she was feeling the true extent of the gaping hole Lexa had left behind in keeping her distance from her. And, god, it hurt. It hurt so much.

Lexa moved herself back tasting salt on both their lips. Her eyes filled with pain seeing her blonde crying.

"Hodnes" she breathed bowing her head against Clarke's.

Lexa closed her eyes. So much guilt and burden turned the sorrow in her heart into hot lead. It hurt to see Clarke so upset.

"Ai moba" she whimpered holding Clarke's face lightly in her hands. She felt her own tears fall down her face while she brushed Clarke's aside with her thumbs, "I'm so sorry, Clarke"

Lexa felt Clarke's head press heavily back against her own. She winced hearing the other woman breathe shakily in and out. Like it was hurting her just to breathe. Clarke raised her arm and Lexa opened her eyes to watch the blonde moving the furs back further while her brows stitched with a begging look.

Lexa slipped into the half cold furs beside her blonde while they kissed again. She settled on her hip, leaning over the blonde, kissing her slowly and softly. She felt Clarke lower the furs over them both, shrouding them in warmth. Then Clarke's hand sliding back over her side, going down and stopping to clutch at her hip. Lexa shivered delicately and placed her hand over Clarke's. The blonde then used the commander as an anchor to pull herself closer, dragging Lexa a little toward her. Lexa let her. She was relieved Clarke wanted her so close. A leg pushed through between hers. Clarke's hand on her thigh pulled her left leg up to lay over the blonde's. Lexa tightly wrapped her arm around her girlfriend's torso in reply, pulling Clarke as close to herself as physically possible. She felt Clarke's breaths shudder against her lips at coming into the circle of her arms.

When Clarke moved her head back and gazed deeply into her eyes, Lexa felt as if she'd come home.

She raised a hand and watched its careful decent over Clarke's body. She looked up as if for permission when it hovered over Clarke's stomach. Clarke pressed her lips to Lexa's neck in answer, causing Lexa to close her eyes and lean into her. She gently pressed her hand over Clarke's bump. She smiled at her child kicking a hello into her palm, then returned her gaze to Clarke.

The blonde was still kissing at her neck with soft nips that made Lexa bite her lip. She knew Clarke wasn't intending on letting her speak tonight. But Lexa felt they needed to. They needed to clear the air. Too much had happened for them both to simply brush over it. And war was looming closer too. Lexa needed to know Clarke still loved and understood her enough to enter into battle once more at her side.

Lexa inhaled a deep breath.

"Clarke-"

The blonde shut her off the moment she began with another hard kiss. Lexa sighed against the blondes lips. She moved closer feeling Clarke's hands pull on her neck and kissed back feeling Clarke desperately clinging to her. Lexa held her gently in return, encasing her in her arms, right where she belonged.

"Clarke-" she tried again when their kiss broke off and they rested against one another breathing deeply.

The blonde put a finger to Lexa's lips and shushed her.

"Tomorrow" she husked kissing Lexa again, "Tell me tomorrow"

Lexa moved herself back and looked down on her sadly.

"What if tomorrow never comes?" She questioned in a pained whisper.

Clarke set her features straight to keep Lexa from seeing the fear she felt inside herself. She was aware how limited time had become. Every second the enemy drew closer. Tomorrow wasn't completely certain anymore now they were all living on borrowed time.

Still, Clarke made herself hold Lexa's hurting gaze. Made herself reach out and hold Lexa's face. Made herself smile even though what she really wanted was to break down and cry and scream in Lexa's arms. She made herself strong. Because Lexa looked so unsure, so scared. One of them had to be sure.

"It will" she whispered strongly, convincingly. Clarke then kissed Lexa's forehead and waited to hear Lexa's reply.

The commander simply nodded and settled down. The blonde eased back against her, making sure not to lean so much of her baby weight onto Lexa's body. The commander gave a soft whine and pulled Clarke closer again so that their baby sat leaning against her own stomach. She carefully rolled some more into Clarke's front, cocooning their child between them. She smiled when she felt him move and moved her free hand into his mother's hair feeling Clarke nestle down into her chest.

Their baby continued to move between them. To Clarke he seemed to be swishing backwards and forwards between them. Uncertain maybe with who he should rest against. She closed her eyes to picture how such a scene would look given a few more months. In her head it was perfect. In her heart it wasn't a promised scenario.

"He grows stronger" Lexa murmured tapping her thumb against Clarke's stomach. The baby kicked back in hard sporadic bursts causing Clarke to quickly tire of their game.

"With you as his nomi.." She moved Lexa's hand away from her stomach to stop her playing with the baby, "I'm not surprised"

Lexa looked down at Clarke's closed eyes as she settled more comfortably into her chest. She watched amused when she pushed her hand back to Clarke's belly and Clarke scowled.

"Perhaps his strength comes from his mother" Lexa told her kissing her head gently, "It wouldn't surprise me. After all, you are the strongest person I know"

"Clearly you've been avoiding mirrors as well as me lately" the blonde mumbled sleepily.

Lexa sadly smiled though the blonde's barbed words stung her heart. She shushed Clarke, and quietly hummed a soft tune to get her to sleep. Her hand traced up and down Clarke's ribs and hip beneath the furs as she did. Slowly, so her fingers could remember the feel of the skin they'd gone so long without touching.

Lexa thought hard about what Clarke had said. But she couldn't agree. She had lied to her girlfriend. Had put off defensive action for her people. Had put her baby's life on the line as well as everybody else's. All for the sake of her better intentions.

Lexa didn't feel strong at all. She felt completely and utterly weak.

The commander lovingly gazed down at the blonde woman sleeping soundly in her arms, removed for now of all the worries that had gradually burned at her ever present resilience. Clarke was so strong. Much stronger than Lexa. Clarke had always made her weak. She was the only thing in this world that could bring Lexa to her knees.

And Lexa would never regret that.

"I love you, Clarke" she whispered kissing Clarke's brow, causing it to scrunch up a little in response.

Lexa's chest felt warm with the other woman's sigh back at her.

"Go to sleep" the blonde grumbled and rolled herself out of Lexa's arms to sleep alone on her side.

Lexa felt the chill of the air outside the bed hit her hard when Clarke put distance between them. She noticed how Clarke hadn't returned the loving sentiment like she normally would. Perhaps because she no longer did love Lexa.

Clarke's turning away caused the fear and worry inside the commander to grow, making her chest constrict painfully tight. Until Clarke shifted beside her.

"Come here" she sleepily whispered reaching back to grab and tug on Lexa's hand.

The commander didn't understand. Clarke rolled her eyes to herself and pulled on Lexa's arm, encouraging her to press into her back and then crawl over her when the blonde's body tilted to lie flat on the bed. She pushed on Lexa's back when the brunette hovered uncertain above her, getting her to rest over the top of her and her bump. Right where she truly belonged.

The commander's heart swelled. She relaxed herself against Clarke's front and set her chin down on her chest as Clarke closed her eyes again, so she could gaze up at her blonde in the candlelight. In the moment it was as if nothing had happened between them. As if she and Clarke were back in their tent discussing their child in the summer warmth. Before any secrecy or lies had pulled them apart. When it was just Lexa watching Clarke sleep.

Lexa wished so much that it could be like that again.

"Stop staring at me" Clarke muttered feeling Lexa's eyes on her. She felt Lexa's finger draw a line up her side.

"I can't help it. You make me stare at you, Niron"

Lexa beamed watching Clarke smile genuinely for the first time in weeks.

The blonde opened her tired blue eyes and set them on Lexa's exhausted but smiling green ones. She held them while she raised a hand to touch Lexa's face. She knew without being told that Lexa was feeling doubtful of her feelings towards her.

"Ai hod you in, Lexa" She whispered as gently as she could, "You're a complete idiot and you make me so incredibly mad, especially after all thats happened lately" Clarke looked down from the shame in Lexa's eyes, "Everybody would call me insane. But I do love you. Despite all that. I can't help it"

Lexa bowed her head against Clarke's chest and held the blonde's hips in her hands. She felt hot tears stinging her eyes.

"I don't deserve your love, Clarke" She inhaled a long breath and held Clarke tighter, "I continue to betray your love and your trust. I continue to hurt you"

Tears started to dribble down her cheeks and her breath shook trying to stop them before Clarke knew she was crying. But Clarke always knew.

"Lexa.."

Clarke's hands moved to hold the shaking woman to her chest. She held Lexa tight, shushing her and rubbing her back. Between them their child kicked gently into Lexa's lower abdomen. Lexa cried freely into her girlfriend's chest feeling them both try to comfort her. She didn't deserve any of it.

"I'm not promising forgiveness" She heard Clarke begin above her when she'd calmed a little.

"I'm not asking for it" She blurted out in a choked voice, "I know I don't deserve it"

"But," Clarke continued over her, "I do promise that I love you. Despite your damn selfish stupidity. And your mad desire to handle everything alone. And-" Clarke cut off into a sigh and shook her head. The rest didn't matter. "For your deeds and your mistakes, I love you"

Clarke kissed Lexa's head then, repeating herself over, in English and in grounder, following each whispered promise with a kiss until Lexa's skin was warm with them. The grounder's tears fell freely again.

"I didn't mean to hurt you" Lexa croaked raising her head at last from Clarke's chest to gaze imploringly at her lover.

Clarke wiped her thumbs beneath Lexa's eyes.

"I know. I understand why you did what you did" She drew a deep breath before adding, "Maybe I'd have done the same"

Lexa shook her head. She knew Clarke would never put herself before the safety of others. She would have handled everything different, better.

The blonde massaged her palm into the side of her bump thinking about it herself. She didn't know what she'd have done before. If being pregnant would have altered her usual way of leadership or not. But she knew she would have told Lexa. Definitely.

"What are we going to do?" She muttered worrying her bottom lip thinking about the war coming for them.

Lexa leant up to look down on her lover with strong sad eyes.

"We do as we always have" she told the blonde, "We fight for our people. And this," Her fingers interlocked with Clarke's over their bump, "We fight for our family. Together"

Clarke nodded feeling Lexa's words fill her with strength.

"Otaim" she whispered and brought Lexa's head down so they could kiss.

She breathed in the scent of her commander when they parted only to rest heads. She told herself to be brave, be strong. For herself and Lexa. They both needed it right now.

"We should sleep" she mumbled laying a quick kiss on Lexa's lips and then her head as she guided it down to lay against her chest once more.

Lexa settled and closed her eyes listening to Clarke's heartbeat sing her lullaby.

"Reshop, ai niron" Clarke muttered holding her heda cradled in her arms.

Lexa smiled sleepily.

"Goodnight, my love"

Lexa closed her eyes focusing on the sound of Clarke's heart beneath her ear singing her to sleep. She whispered goodnight to the baby too before she slipped into the calmest sleep she'd achieved in months. Clarke smiled as she sank into her own dreams.

It felt like mere minutes had passed since the two women had drifted off in final peace with one another when a loud knock woke them.

Clarke stirred hearing Lexa's flame keeper calling for the commander through the door. She slowly opened her eyes with a moan at the sunlight in her face and stretched out, causing the body lying directly behind her to stir too.

Clarke looked over shoulder at her commander nestled snugly into her back. Lexa had failed to wake properly with Gaia's loud knocking. Instead she'd slept through it with the warmth of Clarke's body being enough to hold her inside her dreams.

The blonde smiled softly at the sleeping woman and lifted her head back so she could kiss her. Lexa mumbled incoherently feeling Clarke's lips touch her head then her cheek. Her nose wrinkled up feeling Clarke lay a kiss against it and she finally began to stir.

Lexa's green eyes fluttered open and locked hazily on the blonde in front of her. She sleepily smiled at her lover remembering what had happened the night before. She kissed Clarke's shoulder and back before readjusting herself to go back to sleep.

"Lexa" Clarke pushed on her shoulder to wake her up again, "Lexa, you need to get up"

"Ai laik heda" Lexa grumbled pinning Clarke's hand to her shoulder to cease its shoving at her, "I don't need to do anything"

Clarke rolled her eyes and resolved to calling out for Gaia to enter the room.

The flame keeper entered slowly. Her curious eyes took in the crumpled sheets beside heda's unsheathed sword at the couch then moved to the bed where she spotted her commander wrapped around Wanheda. Gaia felt immediate guilt. It seemed the two leaders had reconciled at last. And now here she came, interrupting their peace with more bad news.

"I apologise for the intrusion, heda" she said stopping before the bed to bow.

The flame keeper looked curiously at Lexa's still tattooed back peering out of the furs when the commander failed to respond. Gaia looked bemused to Clarke, who carefully sat herself up and rolled her eyes at Lexa.

"She's not ready to adult just yet" the blonde sighed poking her lover again.

Gaia bowed to Clarke instead.

"Then I apologise to you, Wanheda"

Clarke shook her head, "There's no need to apologise. And no need to call me Wanheda. Please"

Gaia nodded understanding how Clarke hated her official title. She straightened her stance and looked between the two women when Lexa huffed out irritably. Gaia's guilt worsened.

"Just wake up" Clarke whispered poking Lexa a final time.

She looked away from Lexa's frustrated grumbling at her side and peered at the nervous looking flame keeper.

"What is it?" She asked feeling her heart begin to bang with dread.

"A messenger has arrived" Gaia answered calmly. She jumped back a step the moment Lexa heard her and leapt from the bed.

Gaia watched confused when her heda crossed quickly the room to the couch. There she began hastily throwing on her discarded clothes while Clarke questioned Gaia on this messenger.

"He rides from the Yellow Shores. With word from his chief"

"What message does he bring?" Lexa demanded pulling her shirt down and striding to look hard into Gaia's eyes.

"He refuses to tell me, heda. He says his message is for you to hear alone"

Lexa glanced to Clarke before she nodded at Gaia. The flame keeper took her leave then, allowing the couple their privacy. Lexa took a seat on the bed and shook her head to herself.

"He is toying with us" she growled and glared at the floor, "First he makes us believe he is attacking and then he makes us wait for nothing. Now he sends us a messenger to further taunt us"

Lexa swung her arm out and threw a pillow to the floor in anger.

Clarke finished throwing her shirt on and climbed across the bed to touch Lexa's shoulders.

"Hey" She wrapped her arms around Lexa's neck and held her firmly to stop her angry shaking, "I know what you're thinking. But I am not standing out of this one"

Lexa lifted her head back to plead with her, "Clarke-"

"No, Lexa. It's not up for discussion. Together, remember? Whatever this messenger has to tell us, we face it together"

She pressed a single kiss to Lexa's neck and then leant back to fix Lexa's hair for her. Lexa pursed her lips to hold back her thoughts. She didn't trust this messenger. The last time one had come with news for Wanheda, Clarke had been attacked. She wanted to keep Clarke away, for her protection. But she knew Clarke wouldn't allow it.

"All done" Clarke whispered after a short moment and kissed her ear.

Lexa turned to face her and smiled weakly.

"Your turn"

Clarke let Lexa fix her hair and then moved into the bathroom to wash her face. She felt a wave of nausea hit her suddenly while she towelled her face dry. Her hands gripped the water basin tight and she swallowed against the sick feeling in her throat. Her hand pressed into her stomach feeling a sharp pain spreading through her abdomen.

"Clarke?" Lexa's voice called concerned from the other room, coming quickly closer when Clarke gasped out in pain.

The blonde quickly forced herself upright and pretended her body wasn't hurting. Lexa entered the bathroom with worry in her expression.

"Is everything alright?" She asked watching Clarke dry her face on a towel. Clarke nodded back at her, "Okay. Then we should go"

"Okay" Clarke smiled and threw the towel down. She caught her reflection in the cracked mirror on the wall she walked past to follow Lexa out of the bathroom. She looked very pale.

Her hand touched her bump tenderly. She willed the baby to kick. When it did she breathed with relief. She didn't trust this strange nausea and pain that had come on so suddenly. It scared her. She'd radio the Ark and speak with her mom about it once she'd heard what this messenger had to say. But for now she had to pretend everything was okay. For Lexa's sake.

Clarke approached the commander waiting for her at their room door and took a firm hold of Lexa's hand to help fight the scared panicked way her heart was beating inside her chest. Lexa looked down at their hands in surprise, but smiled warmly at the blonde. She swiftly brought Clarke close and kissed her softly before she let her go and opened the door for them to leave.

The two women left the commander's room as a united pair, with hands held firmly in each others grip to show their people and the world that they stood together.

"You ready for this?" Clarke gently asked as she stopped beside Lexa at the door to the throne room.

Lexa was staring hard at the door, thinking and dreading what news awaited them on the other side. When Clarke spoke she lifted her chin and pushed the door open in answer.

Two men stood in the middle of the room. Behind them by Lexa's throne, Gaia and Aden stood looking down on the strangers tensely. Guards surrounded the room with weapons in hand and pointed at the enemy.

Everybody looked their way when the two leaders of Polis entered the room.

Clarke heard Lexa inhale quickly before she started walking forwards. Clarke followed with a curious look at Sev's men as she and Lexa moved around them. She followed Lexa up the steps to her throne and made to stand in place beside it. She was surprised when Lexa took a gentle hold of her arm and made her sit on it instead.

The commander smiled at Clarke's look of confusion. She touched their bump and kissed Clarke's brow and Clarke realised it was to show everybody in the room that they were no longer at war with one another. She smiled up at her love and watched as she moved back to deal with the two strangers. Aden moved to take a protective stance beside the blonde in his commander's place.

"I am told you have a message for me" Lexa barked down to the two men.

One man averted his eyes under his commander's glare. The other boldly moved forward, causing every guard in the room to move too. Lexa herself took a protective step back towards Clarke.

The man looked about at the numerous spears pointing at him from all around the room. He scoffed at them and looked back to Lexa.

"I have a message" he confirmed with a curt nod of his head, "From the new chief of Delphikru. To yourself, Heda. And Wanheda"

Lexa felt her blood begin to boil seeing him look towards Clarke. He looked at her position on Lexa's throne and his eyes seemed to gleam with dangerous intrigue.

"What's the message?" Clarke asked impatiently when he continued to stare at her. She didn't trust him.

The man took another step forward at Clarke's demand. This time Lexa's fingers wrapped around her knife to drag it a couple inches out of its sheath on her belt.

"One more step and yu gonneplie ste oden" she warned him in a low threatening growl.

The messenger knew she was serious. So he backed away with his hands up.

"The message I have is for heda and wanheda" he called out loudly, "And they alone"

He looked around at everybody else in the room to go. None of them heeded him. The messenger's attention returned to the commander when he heard her knife completely leaving its sheath. Lexa was moving her finger along its sharp looking edge until he looked up at her. Then she began to twirl it on its point against the pad of her index finger. The look she gave him said she wouldn't bow to his demand of privacy. The man scowled at her.

"We are ordered not to speak until you alone are listening!" he speaks strongly. He and his friend flinch when Lexa starts descending the steps.

The commander walks slowly towards him still playing with her knife, but stops the last couple steps to approach his companion instead. The younger man is stood trembling in Lexa's presence. And the closer she gets to him with her knife, the harder he shakes.

Lexa shakes her head at him. She looks back to Clarke, who nods her consent. Lexa then ordered the room to empty.

"Heda, I don't think this is wise. We should-" Gaia stood back obediently silent the second Lexa raises back the hand holding the knife to stop her speaking.

The commander turned on the spot and looked toward her young flame keeper who had yet to leave as ordered. Aden too had remained.

"That's means you too" she said sternly to them both and made her way back to Clarke. Gaia looked annoyed but bowed and left as ordered.

"I will be just outside" Aden whispered to Clarke before he skulked slowly past the two men.

Lexa looked down on her blonde partner worryingly as the last steps of her people faded from the room behind her. She didn't like leaving Clarke so unprotected like this. The commander cut a short glance down from her princess' concerned eyes to the arm of her throne where they both know a dagger is concealed.

Clarke subtly nodded. She understands what Lexa is suggesting. She just hated seeing her girlfriend look so scared. All she wanted to do is take hold of her hand and promise her everything will be okay. But she can't without making Lexa look weak in front of their enemies. So she settled for a quick loving look before turning her gaze back to their guests.

Lexa turned straight after, as if rejuvenated in strength. Her eyes cast coldly back on the two men and she impatiently ordered them to speak.

"We have a message from our master. Sev, chief of Delphikru and the Yellow Shores"

"You already said that part" Clarke glowers at them from the throne.

Lexa grips the handle of her knife hard when the first man smiles at her lover's impatience.

"Forgive me, Wanheda" He started walking to the left with his hands behind his back, "You know, I had heard rumours of your condition and its affect on your usual negotiating skills. I see now the rumours these past months were true. You have grown inept"

Clarke sees Lexa's back shake in anger at his insult. She knows the commander is quite ready to be done with this man.

"Negotiating" She repeated causing the man's confident smile to flicker at its the edges, "So you've come to negotiate?"

The younger man started mumbling to his friend. Clarke can't make out what he's saying but it makes the older man turn and snarl at him to be quiet. The two women shared a brief look through the exchange.

The older man turned with another fake smile seeing them watching him.

"Maybe there should be introductions before we speak on behalf of our chief. I am Daks"

He gives a sarcastic low bow.

"And your friend?" Clarke asked looking on the other man with pity. He looked terrified to be here. Clearly he'd been forced to come.

He mumbled something out, keeping his eyes on the floor. He jumped when his companion clapped him hard on the back while he introduced him as Mikel.

Lexa rolled her eyes growing ever impatient with this nonsense.

"The one you call chief has been raising an army" she started up to move things on already, "Why?"

Daks grinned with dark eyes, and it's so cold Clarke feels a shiver run up her spine.

"My chief simply wishes to take Polis and remove the pretender sitting on its throne" His smug eyes switched between the two women before they land on Clarke sitting on said throne, "Lexa. Not you, Wanheda. Sev has quite the interest in you"

Clarke frowned down at him hard, "Why?"

"I do not know. But he has an offer for Heda" Daks turned to solely address Lexa, "Sev said that if you gave up Wanheda, he would spare the city and all the lives that would be wasted in war. I suggest you take it"

Lexa's palm started cutting into her knife. She forced herself to hold still when the fury inside her threatened to explode out.

"And what would he do with Wanheda?" she calmly asked with a sprinkle of intrigue injected into her voice. It caused Clarke to look back at her with worry. Sev's messenger believes its a good sign.

The Delphi man shrugged back at Lexa, "Only Sev knows that. But I can imagine it will be fun"

Lexa nodded thoughtfully.

"Then I have a message for Sev"

Clarke's eyes lock on Lexa taking strong strides towards the two men. Daks stands tall as the commander gets closer and closer. He sticks his thumbs into his belt and smiles expecting her to hold out her arm and accept their terms of peace. The way Wanheda is staring in fear at her could only mean the commander is about to finally sell out her pet blonde.

Daks held his arm out to Lexa and smiled genuinely at her.

"I would be glad to pass on a message to-"

Daks stopped talking suddenly when he felt a cool breeze on his throat the second Lexa strode past him. He frowned and looked down confused at the warmth flooding down his neck and chest.

Dak's throat felt constricted all of a sudden. He coughed and felt more warmth dribbling down his chin. His vision begins to unexpectedly blur. He hears Mikel gasp and sees Clarke staring at him in complete shock before he hit the floor hard in a coughing fit. He can't seem to draw a full breath. Every try is bit by bit harder than the last. Red covers the floor around the man as he clutches his torn throat.

Lexa looked down on the dying man in disgust while he struggled against the inevitable. She's tempted to kneel down and stab him through the heart to get it over with. But she holds off. Daks had insulted and threatened Clarke. He deserved to die slowly.

The commander kicked him aside and strode through the bloody pool forming around him. She pointed her bloody knife at his companion. Mikel jumped back with terrified eyes.

"You take his body back to Sev. You tell him, 'Here is Heda's answer'. And you tell him that he is next!"

Lexa yelled the last part and roughly shoved Mikel away towards the door. He slipped in the blood underfoot and tripped backwards over his friend's body. Lexa felt no pity for him when he whimpered in fear and scrambled away.

Clarke walked down to Lexa's side as Mikel ran out of the room. She looked beside her to Lexa's still features while she breathed heavily and stared down at the dead man at their feet. She felt faint herself when she glanced down at him too.

"You ready for this?" Lexa asked her numbly.

Clarke didn't reply. Just took a strong hold of Lexa's hand.


	8. Month 55 - That Was Dramatic

_**Super sorry! I've been busy with life. Enjoy!**_

* * *

Lexa was listening to Clarke telling the nightbloods a skaikru story when it happened.

They had been taking a break from their restless war preparations that'd had them both working so hard and so tirelessly that they were beginning to forget to see each other past their public titles. Lexa and Clarke were being shoved aside for Heda and Wanheda, something they both hated. So the two women had called a truce with their endless meetings. Clarke had thrown down her latest report detailing Delphi scouts sighted in the north near Roan's land. Lexa had handed off her own stack of reports to Gaia and dismissed their guards. The two women had stood staring at one another, impatient with the slow leave of their people vacating the room. The second the door had shut behind the last warrior they had gone to one another; tiredly, desperately; wanting to feel something other than the continuous dread that had been weighting down the winter air of Polis lately. Wanting to remind themselves and each other why they were doing what they were doing. They soaked in each others' presence, and held one another preciously, enjoying their privacy. When they found time like this both women struggled to remember they were expecting a war. It w as too easy to lose themselves in the feel of being with one another.

Lexa breathed softly while Clarke reclined back against her chest. She was smiling content for the moment against the blonde's shoulder, occasionally leaning closer to press a kiss to Clarke's soft warm skin and earning herself a deep purr from her lover's chest in return. Her fingers lingered continually over Clarke's belly where her child slept safe and sound. For the moment at least. Lexa's fingertips ran up and down the warm swollen flesh hidden beneath Clarke's shirt. She marvelled its ever growing size. Every day their baby grew bigger and stronger. Soon he would be laying in Clarke's arms, babbling cutely and playing with her gold hair. Lexa could barely wait. Every day the excitement in her belly grew. She couldn't wait to meet him. To hold him. Every day she loved Clarke more and more for carrying her child. She could envision no other in her place.

Clarke exchanged few words with Lexa while they sat together on the commander's throne enjoying the rare silence. Rather, she let her hitched breaths and not so subtle leans back into the commander do her talking for her. Lexa responded just the same. Her hands easily found the sweet spots on Clarke's body and stroked slowly until Clarke's hands returned the favour. They had been reading one another so long now that Lexa merely needed to look at Clarke to know where she wanted to be touched. She smiled happy knowing Clarke knew her just the same, and nuzzled the blonde's hand whenever it reached up to touch her face before pulling her by the neck closer.

Nearly two hours passed like this; of words being traded for silent looks and slow kisses. Until the door slowly opened an inch and a young face peered in through the crack. And then another, and another. Until all of Lexa's nightbloods were whispering not so quietly outside the door about who would go in to speak with the two women, while Clarke and Lexa listened on amused.

Eventually the youngest was pushed into the room to nervously approach the throne and request a little of Heda's time. Lexa had pretended to glare meanly at the child until Clarke had nudged her to behave. Lexa then beamed down at little boy and nodded her permission. She gently patted Clarke's lap on top of her own, motioning for the young boy to climb up and join them. Pretty soon after, the two women were surrounded by the rest of the children and their elder nightblood guardians. Lexa had smiled around at them all beaming up at her and Clarke on her throne. To her it felt as if she and Clarke already had a large family with the children, and were merely expected the next addition to it. And that made her feel guilty around her happiness. Because she knew she had been as absent from her nightbloods' lives in the last few months. As much as she had been missing from Clarke's.

"Clarke?"

A gentle tugging on the shirt covering Clarke's bump beneath Lexa's hand broke the commander from her distant stare down at the children. Together she and Clarke looked down to the small girl by their feet holding onto the end of Wanheda's shirt.

Lena nervously looked back at them both. She'd been the newest of Lexa's novitiates, come from one of the furthest Trikrku village and still finding her feet inside the city. And it showed in the way she still nervously sucked her thumb while she played for Clarke's attention.

Lexa looked down on the girl with a disapproving expression; one that was immediately nudged away by her girlfriend. Clarke smiled warmly at the little girl.

"Sha, strikon?"

Lena beamed back at her, "Tel osir op un sontaim kom Skai"

The rest of the children begun excitedly nodding and pouting at the blonde, giving her their best puppy eyes. Even the elder nightbloods, who had grown up on Clarke's stories and had even lived through some themselves, were giving the sky princess hopeful looks from their still guarding stances at the children's backs. Lexa had simply chuckled and squeezed her girlfriend gently. She knew Clarke would give in to the children easy. Aside from Lexa herself, their nightbloods were Clarke's kryptonite.

So they all settled down at the foot of the throne and listened intently to the blonde sky princess recall a story from her time living high above earth. Even Lexa, who had heard the story thousands of times and could probably cite them along with the blonde, sat hypnotised by Clarke's voice and Clarke's smile as she spoke of her childhood in the stars. She couldn't help herself. The blonde always seemed to enter a trance when she spoke of her old life. Her eyes held a light faraway reminiscent glow and her smile and laugh were always light and free while she spoke. To Lexa she was beautiful. As always.

A content peace had settled inside the room. Thoughts and fears of war were drowned by images of planets and star dust and floating above the world. Until the sweet melody of the commander's girlfriend regaling the young ones with stories of the stars and space was drowned by an loud crackling noise in the corner of the room.

Clarke and Lexa looked up together and watched as Aden quickly crossed the room to the radio Clarke's people had installed near Lexa's war maps. He picked up the handset while Clarke continued her story, and raised it to quietly call out for whoever had been trying to radio them. The static warbled back in fast short bursts, too loud and scrambled for him to understand.

Aden put the handset down and shrugged it off to some mistake. Maybe one of the Skaikru guards had brushed their handsets by accident. Aden turned to go back to the circle of children. As he did his eyes met the cool questioning gaze of his commander. He'd barely finished his curt nod back to her when a scream echoed out from within the tower.

Everybody's heads turned to the door in wonder to what had caused such a fearing noise. Lexa carefully lifted Clarke and Jak from her lap and leapt up off her throne. She gave Aden an order to check with the guards at the door while she herself rushed to the balcony to look down on the city. Her heart started to pound when her eyes settled on the thick dark smoke rising from the market stalls and homes below, and the dark block of bodies moving through the city's western wall towards the tower. More shouts rang around the city. More walls were being breached. More fires were being lit. More bodies were rushing around like ants to put them out and fight the intruders invading Polis.

It wasn't hard to distinguish an army breaching her city.

Lexa let out a slow breath.

War had come.

"Aden!" She shouted, rushing back to her throne where Clarke was trying to calm the little ones. Lexa looked down on their frightened faces before she looked back at Clarke.

The blonde didn't need to be told what was happening. She knew. She could read it in Lexa's eyes. The battle had finally found them.

Clarke gave the commander a curt nod and began ushering the nightbloods to their feet. Behind her Lexa was ordering the elder nightbloods who were now fully fledged warriors, tasking them with the job to ensure their younger siblings' safety to the highest room in the tower. Clarke's heart fluttered fearfully when she turned to watch the older kids listen to their Heda. She had helped raise them for ten years. Had watched them grow up into the strong men and women that they were today. It scared her how terrified the young ones seemed, while the elders looked fierce and ready to fight. And eager. They all looked completely eager to go out and prove themselves to their teacher. Even if it meant dying to do so.

"Stay together," Lexa was telling them all seriously, "Do not stray and do not stop"

Another scream echoed through the open door of the throne room, followed by another, and then a hoarse cry of warning. The tower seemed to explode in gunfire after. Causing the nightbloods to gasp in fright and cluster together. Clarke turned feeling one of them shy shaking against the back of her leg. She gently shushed the little boy and told him to rejoin the others. But he only clung to her tighter.

Lexa looked down on her students with worry. Most of them were young. Too young. Only a few had become old enough to start their training. If the enemy drew too close... If they got past the warrior nightbloods...

She didn't want to think about it.

Lexa's head lifted to the side seeing Clarke lead one of the youngest back to the group in front of her. The poor child was doing his best to stay with the sky princess. It made Lexa sad. And angry. Her nightbloods shouldn't ever experience fear within their own home.

"Don't be afraid" she told them all softly, "The fleimpekas will keep you safe. As will your brothers and sisters"

Lexa turned with the children's scared nods to look nervously at Clarke. She wanted the blonde to go with them. She would be safest with Gaia and the older nightbloods. Lexa would trust none but the flame keepers or Aden with Clarke's safety in her absence. But she knew her sky princess too well. The hard gleam in Clarke's eyes spoke her refusal to leave Lexa's side before Lexa could voice her opinion and plea that she should. Reluctantly the commander accepted it.

Clarke quickly strode to Lexa's war maps and then came to her side the moment Lexa sent the nightbloods away. The blonde raised the walkie-talkie she'd collected off the table and used it to call in to the sky people on guard in the levels below. She followed Lexa's quick stride out of the throne room and into the war one opposite while she waited for her people to answer her.

Lexa rushed to the far wall, to the cabinet that held her armour and weapons. She ignored her shoulder guard and sash and slipped into her lighter armour. She felt Clarke buckle the leather down at her ribs and shoulder. While she hastily wrapped a worn leather belt around her hips. The armour hadn't been worn since her fight with Roan over a decade ago. Seeing Lexa in it again made Clarke shiver.

"Here"

Lexa's turn around smacked Clarke's fingers away from buckling her right side. In her hands she held out a similar armour for Clarke to wear. It's leather was thicker than Lexa's, and darker. Clarke could smell how new it was. She felt touched that Lexa had thought to have her a new armour made.

She quickly slipped into it with Lexa's help. Her hands shook smoothing down the soft sturdy hide now protecting her bump. Outside she could hear Aden calling in to them to hurry. If she concentrated she could hear shouts drifting up through the floors below. She trembled feeling scared by it all.

Lexa ignored her nightblood. She was looking her lover over. Her fingers kept playing at the buckles on Clarke's hips, disregarding the ones still loose on her own right side. She checked and then triple checked that they were tight enough and that the armour covered their baby perfectly. Clarke's hands gently closed around her wrists to pull them down. She met Lexa's eyes, and her heart hurt seeing the fear in them.

"Lexa..." Clarke shook her head and leant past Lexa for the faded clay jar of kohl. She knew Lexa intended to battle without it. But Clarke wanted their enemies to see it on their Heda's face. She wanted them to see it ringing Lexa's eyes and know when she looked at them that death would carry their spirits away on the dark wings that crowned Lexa's face if they dared attack their Heda. She hoped by wearing it Lexa would be somewhat protected.

Lexa closed her eyes letting Clarke quickly spread the black liquid over them. She felt Clarke's fingertips warm and shaking on her skin as they drove up to her temples and then slid slowly down the sides of her cheeks to replicate the winged tears that usually adorned her face in battle. Clarke stood so close that she could feel and hear every quick breath her Sky princess took as she hastily readied Lexa for war. Lexa knew Clarke was scared. For her, for their baby, for their people. Lexa was too. For the first time in the longest time fear rode alongside the angry adrenaline inside her while the crashes and bangs of battle raged on in the floors far below her. And Lexa wasn't quite sure how to control it.

She waited for Clarke to finish her painted mask before she pushed her hand up to the skin above Clarke's breast where her heart thundered like her own. Wordlessly she looked back at Clarke and brought her hands away back to her own face to drag her thumbs along the skin beneath her eyes, cleaning a patch in the kohl to resemble Clarke's warpaint so that she could carry the blonde with her.

Clarke faintly smiled at her and smudged their shared design beneath her own eyes with her stained fingers. Lexa's heart pumped harder while she turned to collect their weapons.

"Take this"

Lexa held out Clarke's sword and ripped her own out of its sheath. She watched Clarke copy her and nodded when the blonde seemed ready. Clarke wore a thin smile and began moving out of the room to radio her people again, but was stopped by Lexa who held a holster belt out in her hand. Clarke looked down at it and felt herself freeze. Sitting inside the faded nylon pouch attached to the belt was the gun that Clarke thought she had discarded years ago.

She stared at the weapon hanging in the air. At the last thing that linked her to Wanheda and all the lives she'd stolen as an adolescent.

"Please?" Lexa whispered pulling the gun out to hold in her palm. She pressed it into Clarke's right hand, "So I know that you are safe"

Clarke's jaw clenched. Her head bubbled with immediate guilt and shame, and anger at Lexa for keeping the gun and now offering it up to her. As if she could defend herself no other way. The blonde looked up offended, and met the desperation in Lexa's eyes staring imploringly back at her. Slowly she reached up to take the weapon.

Clarke hated the feel of the heavy cold metal sliding into her palm. Everything about it reminded her of death. Too many ghosts lived in the scratches of its cold surface. Too much blood stained its worn pain. She brushed the trigger and her back trembled. She didn't want to go into this battle with it. She wanted to go into battle as she lived now. As a sword wielding grounder. But she knew Lexa would never allow her to fight if she didn't have it on her.

So Clarke pulled the holster from Lexa's hand and wound it round her hips. She tucked the gun inside after. She hated how comforting and familiar it felt laying over her left thigh. Clarke made sure to clip the safety belt over the gun's grip. She told herself she wouldn't use it. Even if there was no other option.

Lexa stepped close to Clarke after and held her hand out, "Together?"

Clarke nodded and took Lexa's hand, "Together" she quietly repeated looking into Lexa's dark eyes.

The blonde looked down from the way Lexa looked back at her and stepped forward to fix Lexa's last buckles. She slipped her hand around Lexa's neck after to bring her in for a quick kiss. Lexa breathed sadly against her lips. When Clarke moved back Lexa bent her head forward and closed her eyes again. She breathed in the warm heavenly scent of her girlfriend and soaked up their last few moments together. Her hand moved slowly over their bump and she leant heavier against Clarke feeling him kick out beneath the leather shielding him. The fear rose up sharper inside her.

"Stay close to Aden" she begged the blonde. She looked down to make sure Clarke agreed, "Be here when its over. Both of you" Her palm pressed firmer over Clarke's belly.

Clarke gently kissed Lexa again, "Otaim" she whispered against Lexa's lips.

Lexa brought her in back when she again began to inch back to leave. She moved her lips with desperate intent over Clarke's, scared that maybe today would be the last time she kissed her sky princess. The blonde felt Lexa's lips quivering and it had her heart throbbing painfully in her chest. She wanted to believe it wasn't goodbye. It couldn't be. She and Lexa had been through far too much to lose one another now. They would see each other after this battle. They would survive it. For their baby and each other. They had to.

The radio crackling between the two women broke them apart. Clarke gazed up into Lexa's scared eyes before she raised the radio to her mouth to speak with her people.

 _"It seems you've got some unexpected guests!"_ Raven's voice shouted loudly through the radio, _"Want me to show them the door, Princess?"_

Clarke grimly smiled, "What's the situation, Raven?"

 _"Short answer, we have a problem. Long answer, we have a huge fucking problem!"_

Lexa stretched forward and raised the radio in Clarke's hand to her mouth, "I need the longer answer, Raven. Who, where and how many"

Lexa listened intently while Raven ran through the battle specifics. Her eyes held Clarke's steady with all the information Raven gave. She could see Clarke grow more and more scared with the things Raven told them, and it made her want to order the blonde away to safety. But Lexa made herself focus on Raven and what she had to do to help her people.

"Raven, spread your people out. Keep blocking any further entry into the city" Her order earned her a sarcastic reply from the mechanic. Lexa ignored her, "I'll send my people to the eastern walls and call my patrols in. Hopefully we can surround them"

The radio crackled with explosions, gunfire, and Raven swearing loudly, before the mechanic managed to calm herself down enough to post a question.

 _"What about the southern wall?"_

Lexa angrily pursed her lips. She'd forgotten all about the southern wall. It was closest to the tower and was usually the most heavily guarded due to its weakened state. It had been undergoing recent reconstruction in preparation of war. But the commander knew her guards would abandon it to protect the tower. Meaning their backs would be completely undefended to allow Sev's armies to enter.

"Tell-"

Clarke quickly pulled the radio away from Lexa's grasp.

"I'll handle it" She answered firmly for her girlfriend, "You handle the ground on your side. I've got this side"

 _"Aye aye, Captain!"_

Clarke clipped the radio onto her belt next to her gun and looked up to Lexa's eyes staring in disbelief at her. Clarke felt herself bristle. She didn't want to have a fight about her involvement. Not when they didn't have time. Lexa had known she wouldn't just sit around and wait for the battle to be over. She had to help. And she would. Nothing, not even Lexa, would stop her.

The sky princess took off past the still commander and headed out to the elevator. She called Aden and Ryder to follow her. As she expected Lexa was right on her heels. The four stood quiet while the elevator shook and groaned beneath them with the slow decent down towards the fight below. Clarke could feel the agitation and stress radiating from her lover beside her. She bet that if she looked she would see Lexa's hands twitch with the need to clench in worry. She expected Lexa to say something. To speak up before it was too late. To beg Clarke stay behind where it was safe. Clarke suspected Lexa was probably waiting until the last moment when the doors opened and she had time to order Aden or Ryder to forcefully take Clarke back upstairs to safety.

To Clarke's surprise, the elevator opened on her intended level and the two men walked out without any word to stay from the commander. She took a step to follow but Lexa's hand pulling her back stopped her.

"Clarke-"

"You take the lower levels like we planned" Clarke said quickly before Lexa could begin an argument. She turned to face the commander with a firm expression. She glanced away again when Lexa's dark eyes pleaded with her, "I'll meet up with my people on this one and arrange a guard for the wall"

Lexa stared deeply at the blonde, "And after that?"

She knew Clarke wouldn't just stay and play real life chess with their people over the radio. Clarke always needed to be in the fight. To stand on the sidelines watching on was simply not an option for Lexa's full time fixer.

"I'll stay here" Clarke touched Lexa's face when it crinkled with doubt, "I promise. I'll be safe with my people"

Lexa sighed deeply troubled but nodded anyway. She knew Clarke would be okay when her people had their guns to protect her with. Clarke gave her a tiny brave smile and hugged her tightly. Lexa clung back not wanting to let Clarke go, and almost whimpered aloud when the blonde begged her in a quiet cracking voice to be safe too.

"I'll come home" she whispered in a husky voice as she touched their bump. She kissed Clarke's lips a final time before letting the blonde slip out of her arms and leave the elevator.

Lexa breathed deeply watching Clarke walk away. She felt a hard urge to follow Clarke and guard her herself. Instead she exchanged a hard look with Aden and Ryder and waited for the trio to turn out of her sight before she slammed her fist into the elevator button to take her down.

The elevator groaning mixed with the growing sounds of people yelling and weapons clashing the further down the tower she travelled. Lexa's hand tightened around the grip of her sword. The familiar feel of worn leather on its handle inside her palm had always helped her remain calm before battle. She took slow deep breaths to control the adrenaline rushing faster inside her veins. It filled her with the nostalgic sensation of her youth when fighting in wars had been a test of victory. Now it was something she loathed.

Lexa made herself stand still and meditated an action plan for when she entered the fight. It was hard. Her mind and heart were still upstairs with Clarke. It distracted her from focusing fully. Luckily Lexa's body was well prepared for war, and saved her the moment the elevator stopped and the doors opened to reveal a spear flying fast towards her.

On instinctive reflex Lexa ducked to the left. The spear landed into the wall of the elevator, impaling the metal with a hard thud. Lexa looked from the quivering shaft back to the warrior who had thrown it. She glared meanly when he laughed out gleefully watching Heda's people falling around him. Lexa growled low in her throat and set a goal to end his life.

The commander quickly scanned the rest of the room then gripped her sword tight and began a jog into the corridor. She slipped around several fighting warriors, and cut down several more that jumped in her way to the main foyer that held the doors to the city. Her senses tipped into overdrive as she fought. All around she saw the movements of bodies and heard the screams of people being wounded and arrows being shot. Twice she had to duck when a volley was shot her way by new enemy warriors entering the tower. Twice she watched her warriors fall in front of her.

The commander growled furiously finishing off an opponent and looked quickly around herself only to see the numbers dwindle on her side. She pulled her sword free of its latest victim and ran forward to slide in behind an upturned table for cover. She ripped a bow out of the bloody hands of a warrior that had fallen when he'd jumped to shield her with his body when her advancing slide caught the attention of their opponents. Lexa carefully peered around the corner of the table and then took a steady kneeling stance beside the dying man.

"A-ai..- ai m-mo-.. moba..Heda!" He gasped jerking at her feet. His hand touched her knee but she shirked it away. Lexa pushed a hand onto his bloody chest when he jerked and kept loudly whimpering an apology for failing her.

"Shh..." she softly hushed him as she peered over the table and scouted the enemy.

In seconds Lexa quickly had knocked an arrow to her bow and shot it towards an enemy archer, hitting him square in the heart, before reaching blindly for the next arrow and repeating the process. More arrows and spears fired past her shoulder as she shot down her fifth warrior. She could hear her people rallying behind her.

"Aim for the doors!" She shouted back to them. The archers posted there were holding the way clear for more warriors to enter. They needed to be taken out so her people could push forward and drive the enemy back.

Her people followed her order, and volleys were shot at the door at random, then in organised fire. Lexa saw four archers fall to the floor before somebody shouted and warriors with shields clustered backwards to cover the door. She scowled while arrow after arrow being shot by her people pinged and ricocheted off the metal sheets protecting the traitor warriors ahead. Lexa's eyes darted along the line of gray steel, looking for a way through it, while more of her people fell behind her.

"Heda!"

Lexa felt Indra's body bump into her side when the weaponless general slid to her knees beside her.

"Indra" She greeted calmly and knocked her last arrow. Her eyes narrowed when she peered over the table and spotted the spear throwing warrior from before. He was shouting at his people, directing them where to fight. Clearly he was their leader in this attack.

"Heda! The market is overrun!" Indra panted heavily, "More delphikru warriors are arriving from the woods. Scouts say they saw Igranronakru horses" Lexa glanced up at the news. Another of her clans had betrayed her? Indra's expression hardened, "Skaikru plan-"

Indra's report was cut short by a massive explosion outside. The two Trikru women ducked behind the table. The floor shook and gasps echoed around the room before the fighting resumed. Lexa stretched her neck up and stared past the enemy to the thick dust cloud outside. Something had been destroyed out there. Something big. Lexa's heart drummed in immediate fear for her people.

She turned to Indra, who unlike Lexa looked more annoyed than worried.

"Skaikru blew up the southern wall!" She growled to the commander.

Lexa felt so relieved she nearly laughed. Of course Clarke would have the wall blown up. The explosion would kill anybody trying to enter while the wreckage would completely block the way into the city for survivors. She agreed wholly with the blonde's sacrificing the wall.

"Thats not our problem" She calmly nodded to the warriors shielding the doors ahead front of them, "Where are our people situated outside?"

"Most of them are in the market fighting off Delphikru's advance. Some are evacuating the citizens. They're using Raven's inventions but they do little to help inside the city" Indra's unsurprised dissatisfaction drenched her grumbling tone as she spoke, "Skaikru are also trying to shoot the enemy from above. I ordered the lower kapa shilkru to hold the main gate"

Lexa nodded and looked to the Delphikru warriors holding the ground in front of them. Her heart felt heavy recognising some of the young faces glaring back at her. Some had frequented the city often through the years. Many had spoken to her. A few she had even hunted with on occasion. It hurt her to see them now willing to kill her and those she loved.

The commander shifted her eyes on to the corner of the foyer. The spear warrior was pacing angrily and pointing frantically towards her hiding place behind the table. Indicating that the warriors charge there. Lexa glared at him and pushed her sword up into Indra's hand. The general looked down at it confused.

"Keep up!" Lexa barked at her and leapt to her feet.

Lexa jumped over the table and ran at the enemy yelling furiously. She heard Indra shout at her people to follow and she saw the fear enter her enemies' eyes seeing them all charge toward them. The spear warrior shouted and the first line of Delphi warriors began running up the corridor to meet them. The room trembled with a roaring symphony of yells as the grounders quickly neared one another.

Lexa danced a step back just before the two lines clashed. On either side of her voices and metal screamed out as bodies smashed into one another. It was almost numbing to Lexa, who fought the ringing in her ears and faced forward to fight. She dodged the sword of the first person to swing at her and caught his follow up on the shaft of her borrowed bow. Lexa saw the head of a spear coming for her head while they faced off, and bent her neck backwards, causing it to strike her opponent instead. The warrior next to him gave a surprised grunt when she prodded the point of her bow into his stomach, and cried when she stabbed the arrow head into his neck. She held onto it letting it fall free of him with his fall to the ground. Lexa yanked the spear free of his friend in the next moment and span herself around to shove it into a passing warrior's side.

She breathed heavy while she moved on. The smell of sweat and blood already filled her nose. Already stained her skin. Lexa caught herself wondering how she had ever revelled in it all before. She hated it.

A deep shout had her blinking past her thought. A large bare chested man covered in tattoos stood in front of her spinning a long axe in both hands. He grinned when she inched backwards and swung his enormous arms down. Lexa hopped to the side and his axe painted a deep crack into the stone floor by her right boot. The Delphi man yanked it free and swung again with a growl when Lexa ducked and rolled out of the way again.

Another yell above her made her look back over her shoulder. A masked warrior was standing at her back trying to take advantage of her low position on the floor.

The warrior raised their sword back in both hands above their head to stab down at her. In front of Lexa the warrior with the axe was moving closer readying his own swing down.

"Heda stedaun!" He laughed callously enjoying the way the commander's eyes darted between them. He thought it was fear. For how would anybody save themselves from this?

Lexa's heart pounded in her chest while she waited for them both to move. Around them warriors ran past to attack her people. Easily they could have surrounded her and simply hacked her to death. But none of them seemed at all interested in taking a claim on her life. She found it confusing. Hadn't they come to kill her?

Lexa looked back between her captors again and she smirked seeing the one holding the sword shifting his foot forward. Going to attack. Like she'd hoped he would.

"AGH!" He shouted out in pain when she span on her side and kicked hard at his shin causing him to take a knee in front of her. Lexa scrambled up in the same moment and kneed him hard in the face. Her hand in his hair stopped him falling backwards and held him suspended in her grip.

She heard his companion yell out as he heaved his axe higher in the air to swing at her. The commander waited until the last moment before shoving the dazed sword wielding warrior to take her place. She held him in place and clenched her jaw to stop the sudden nausea the moment her arms jarring and blood exploding everywhere signalled the axe connected with the man's face. In his shock the axeman dropped his weapon, allowing Lexa the opportunity to drop the dead man and grab his sword by her knee and send it through the large man's belly. He cried out and clutched frantically at it.

Lexa stood panting and kicked him to his back. She stood above him dying at her feet and then looked forward to the next wave of warriors being sent to her. Lexa looked back to her people and was relieved to see Indra yanking her sword free of an opponent. She breathed quick and then strode towards the next group of warriors heading somewhat nervously her way. She threw the bow across her back and slid her last arrow into her boot. The commander slowly picked up more speed as she neared the people running opposite her, and she yelled out with blazing eyes when they shrank back from her.

"Kill her!" The spear warrior screeched at them.

Lexa's yell lowered into a deep growl as she ran forwards. She dodged a arrow and darted towards an upturned cart that had been dragged in to be used as cover and propelled herself over the top of it, and over the heads of the enemy warriors, barrelling herself feet first into the ones holding the steel shields. They fell like dominos into one another, allowing Lexa's people the time to shoot at them. The others that she'd leapt over tripped on themselves turning to face her as she rolled back to her feet and bent defensively in front of them, appearing to be weaponless.

Lexa counted slowly in her head while they slowly came at her. Behind them her people were closing in.

The first warrior to attack threw a knife at her face and then snatched a spear from one of her companions. Lexa dodged the blade and caught it as it passed her face, twisting her torso to fight its momentum in order to throw it back into the line of warriors. She danced round the female warrior's lunge forward after and caught the spear in her grip. She punched the woman hard in the face with her left hand while her right shoved up on the spear shaft in her palm, hitting the warrior in the face with it. She span again forcing it from the warrior's ownership and whacked it hard into her ribs, sending her winded to her hands and knees.

Lexa made quick work of the rest of the warriors around her. She dodged spears, stole swords, kicked and punched and shoved. Her body was the best weapon she owned and she knew how to use it to destroy her enemies.

The commander stomped her boot down into the back of a female warrior attempting to crawl away from her. She ripped out the spear she'd thrown into her back while the woman screamed back at her in agony. Lexa quickly ended her fight and then threw the spear with all her strength hard forwards across the room, straight into the chest of a warrior turning and leaping towards an already occupied Indra.

Indra barely noticed that Lexa had just saved her. She cut down her opponent with her two swords. She turned after and shouted out to Lexa as she ran toward her and threw the commander her sword. Lexa span on her heel straight after catching it and cut down another warrior that had been about to attack her. She left her sword impaled in the other woman's chest. The next warrior to approach the commander had their legs knocked from beneath them. When they raised their head to look up at Lexa the commander already had her bow off her back, arrow aimed and ready.

Fresh blood splattered up across Lexa's thigh and wrist when the warrior's body slumped lifelessly forward into her front but she didn't care. She pulled the arrow the rest of the way out the back off the now dead warrior's head and re-knocked it to shoot it towards the door, where her intended target was yelling at his remaining warriors to take her down already.

Lexa narrowed her eyes and drew the bow string back as far as possible. Her cheek burned when it grazed her skin snapping forward after she released the arrow. Lexa watched it fly across the room and directly hit the spear warrior's chest. She smirked victoriously watching it send him hurtling backwards into his own people mid yell.

The commander breathed heavily while her people ran forward around her charging at the remaining warriors blocking the doorway. Without guidance they seemed not to know how to proceed. Which made them easy pickings for Lexa's warriors. Indra came panting to Lexa's side as she herself panted and yanked her sword out of the dead warrior she'd left it in.

"That was..." Indra knew from Lexa's smirk that she expected praise. So Indra gave none, "Dramatic" She finished in her usual tone of disapproval.

Lexa simply rolled her eyes and told Indra to hand over her radio.

"Clarke?" She called into it holding her breath. She hoped Clarke was okay. She prayed she was safe.

The radio crackled but Clarke wasn't the one that replied.

 _"Lexa! I need your ninja ass up here now!"_

Lexa exchanged a confused glance with Indra, "Raven?"

 _"Who else?!"_ The mechanic growled impatiently back. A gun going off close to the radio shot three rounds and Raven screamed at somebody in the background, _"Get the hell out of my tower!"_ Lexa heard her growl again before shooting more rounds.

The commander's heart jumped in sudden realisation. Raven was above them on the ninth level of the tower. There shouldn't be anybody up there. Unless..

"They're climbing the tower!" She gasped looking to Indra with panicked eyes. If the enemy had reached the ninth level then they had definitely reached the fifth. Clarke's level. Lexa's hand shook as it raised the radio back to her mouth, "Raven, I'm on my way!"

Lexa threw the radio back to Indra and shouted a command for the general's warriors to forget the fight outside and follow their chief. She shoved her general back when Indra made to accompany her to help Raven.

"You go to Clarke!" she ordered her sternly, "You take her to Gaia and you make sure she stays there!"

Indra nodded and barked at her warriors to follow her. Lexa glanced back at the remaining warriors trying to hold the door before she followed. She knew it wouldn't be long before they were forced back and killed. The fight would eventually head upstairs. She needed to make sure Skaikru survived long enough to even the odds.

Lexa shifted her grip on her sword and ran quickly back towards the elevator. She turned past it and rushed through the corridors to the stairs her people had to use to get around the tower. She looked up at the layers of steps above her head and huffed to herself before beginning her climb up.

The commander's legs were shaking with exertion by the time she'd made it nine levels up. Her lungs shook in her chest with each breath she heaved in. Sweat drenched her shirt beneath her armour. She moved quickly into the ninth level corridor, making her way quietly to the room Raven had taken over to use as a workshop. She heard the mechanic swearing loudly inside it and then the sound of glass breaking.

Lexa ducked into the room hearing a gun go off and then click. She heard more glass breaking and Raven's hurt gasp follow. Lexa turned and saw the bodies on the floor before she spotted the skaigada on the floor by a smashed graphic board, looking fiercely up at a warrior leaning over her about to kill her.

Lexa rushed forward and swung her sword into the warriors side. He cried out and she struck him again. Lexa kicked him aside after and reached down to help Raven up. Raven threw her hands away.

"Window!" The other woman gasped nodding frantically past Lexa's shoulder.

The commander turned and spotted hands clutching at the sill. Followed quickly by broad shoulders and a head. Lexa growled to herself and crossed the room in four large angry strides. She waited until the man had climbed up enough to lean forward on his belly on the windowsill so he could crawl into the room. When he saw her feet standing in front of him he froze and slowly craned his neck back to look up at her. His sweating face paled when he saw her warpaint and realised who she was and what she was about to do.

His lips trembled, "Bej-"

"Yu gonneplie ste oden!" She snarled kicking him in the face.

The commander watched with a stony expression while he yelled out in terror on his long way down to the ground. His body flipped and turned in the air as it gained more speed. Soon she lost sight of him. More movement caught her eye though and made her lean out of the window. Lexa could see many more bodies crawling like ants up the pale structure of her tower. More warriors climbing through windows below them. Some climbing higher towards her. It had her clenching her sword tight.

"Kick the grounder, hey. I, uh.. I forgot that was your thing"

Raven was breathing heavy leaning against a crate looking up at her impressed and disgusted when she turned back to her. Lexa impatiently rolled her eyes and strode back to the mechanic. She took in the dead skaikru guards and then the delphi warriors around the room. It looked like they had taken skaikru by surprise before the favour had been returned. Lexa spied the machine gun by Raven's side. Raven must have mowed down the warriors until her bullets had emptied.

"Where's Octavia?" she questioned not understanding the warrior's absence when she'd been tasked with being Raven's bodyguard in the event of war.

Raven shrugged at her.

"Clarke called in for some heavy explosive power. Something close to a launcher. God knows why. Octavia ran it down to her and never came back" Raven looked down to hide her intense worry for her friend, "Indra radioed and mentioned people on horses. I guess Octavia heard and went to play conclave with them"

Again Lexa was reminded of Igranronakru's betrayal. And it made her angry.

"I thought your inventions would protect the city?!" Lexa growled striding forward to pull Raven to her feet.

The skaigona gasped and swore at her. She hopped backwards from Lexa's firm grip with a deep scowl.

"Hey, my babies work fine! Haven't you seen them? They're holding off the rest of those dicks out there!"

"Then why is my city on fire?!" Lexa snapped at the mechanic in a threatening voice.

Raven threw her hands up.

"I don't know! They shouldn't have been able to get in! Nobody could. Not unless-"

Raven's face went blank. Lexa forgot her anger and worried the other woman was going into shock or something. She approached the sky girl and touched her arm. She jumped when Raven suddenly smacked her palm into her head.

"Fuck me!" She growled smacking her head again, "God dammit!"

Lexa frowned at the other woman, "What?"

Raven looked up at the commander. She saw Lexa looking at her apprehensively. She knew from experience how Lexa took bad news. The scars on her arm tingled in memory. She swallowed nervously wishing she could be somebody else right now.

"Not unless they were told how. Somebody's been feeding them our plans" Raven stepped forward watching Lexa's brow dip in misunderstanding, "Lexa, somebody on the inside told them how to get past our defences"

Lexa stared incredulously at her but in her heart the commander knew that Raven was right. Already today she had been informed of another kru betraying her. It made sense that more could have turned their backs on their commander. It explained how they had all been taken by surprise. Lexa just didn't understand why.

She nodded curtly accepting Raven's theory.

"Never mind that now" She rushed moving past Raven to the walkie talkie by the mechanic's foot. She bent to pick it up and raised it to speak to Clarke. She quickly called out the blondes name but the talkie stayed quiet in reply. Lexa shook the device not understanding why it wasn't working.

"Its fried" Raven told her simply. She limped heavily to Lexa's side with her gun in her hand. Lexa sighed and dropped the talkie. She'd hoped to speak with Clarke, or Indra. Anybody who was with the blonde right now. She just had to know that she was okay.

Raven read the stress in Lexa's eyes. She squeezed the commander's shoulder, "She'll be fine. Indra was with Clarke when I last spoke to her" she muttered to her softly before she shook herself and replaced her gentle expression with a harder one, "We've got to move. I bet my best wrench that more of Sev's goons are on their way up here"

Lexa glanced towards the window and nodded. Raven was right. They needed to leave.

"You're right" she said moving to pick up her sword.

"I usually am" Raven smartly quipped back, "So whats the plan?"

The mechanic limped hard past the commander to search for something in the corner of the room. Lexa watched the way the woman struggled to raise her leg enough to step. She wouldn't be able to walk or fight.

"We go up" she decided easily. Raven was their best mechanic. She had improved the city and kept it defended. And she was Clarke's friend. She needed to be protected. Lexa could take her to Clarke and they could strategise together.

"What are you doing?" she asked frowning at the other woman slinging a heavy belt into the wall by the window. Lexa stared at the shining metal spheres poking out of the pockets lining the belt. She turned her eyes back to Raven who was hastily pulling metal tags off her fingers.

Raven shook her head and awkwardly hurried back to the commander. Her leg kept dragging behind her and with every step she took a deep searing pain tore up her thigh. She pressed her hand to it and gritted her teeth. She could feel blood running down her pant leg to pool inside her boot. She couldn't dwell on it though. Those grenades were about to take out the entire room with them inside it.

Raven ignored Lexa's concerned look and grabbed Lexa's arm. She shoved her back towards the door, barking at her to run now or get blown up. Lexa immediately understood what Raven had done. She calculated to herself that with that many spheres about to blow, Skaikru's boom expert was about to make a pretty big boom. Lexa twisted around out of the mechanic's hold and ran to the door. She stopped realising Raven wasn't directly behind her. Lexa span about and saw her trying to drag herself out of the room, clutching her leg in pain. Raven told Lexa to go. But Lexa couldn't. She strode forward and collected a very reluctant Raven up into her arms to carry her quickly from the room.

"If you tell anybody about this, even Clarke, I swear to god I'll bury a screwdriver in your head!" Raven grumbled at her as she held on to the running grounder holding her.

The corner of Lexa's mouth quirked up with half a smile.

"Believe me, Raven. The feeling is very mutual"

The commander ran with the mechanic through the floor shaking with the bombs suddenly exploding in the corridor behind her. The two women could hear the distant screams people who had found themselves in the way of the explosion. Raven's arm around Lexa's neck tightened slightly listening. She hoped nobody innocent had been hurt by her idea to blow up the workshop. She told herself not to care either way. It was war. Collateral happened. Still, it was hard to be completely cold about it. Lexa exchanged a short look with her while she ran. She understood.

Lexa ran up the stairs to the next level of the tower. Against the odds the elevator was open and waiting for them. Feeling somewhat paranoid, Lexa cautiously approached it, and Raven held her gun out in both hands ready to shoot. They entered it when they realised it was empty. Lexa quickly hit the button for the throne level and set Raven down on the floor. The other woman groaned when Lexa took hold of the seam of her pants on her left leg and tore it open.

"Jesus!" she shouted out in pain, "Would you give a girl some warning?!"

Lexa ignored her. She was busy pressing her hands to the deep cut on the side of Raven's leg. Blood poured out between her fingers. Lexa worried her friend was losing too much blood.

In the meantime Raven was ignoring the fact she was injured and was stretching out on her side to reach up for the button panel. Lexa told her to stay still but the sky girl wasn't having it. She impatiently brushed Lexa off and yanked herself across the floor of the elevator. Raven sat up against the wall and took a couple steadying breaths before she twisted herself up onto her knees. She screamed out despite herself when it hurt.

"Raven, you need to-"

"Shut up a second" Raven snapped frowning to herself as she tried to prise open the button panel. Lexa watched the mechanic grow frustrated and handed her her sword. Raven wedged the blade between the metal plates and ripped the panel open and began playing with the wires.

"What're you doing?" Lexa asked her drawing her eyes to the changing numbers above the doors. They were slowly running out of floors for Raven to play with the elevator. Lexa was worried Raven would slow down their ascension, and in turn slow her progress to Clarke.

"I'm breaking this thing" Raven mumbled cutting a wire and pulling another out to scrutinize. She felt Lexa's astounded stare on her back and paused her work to sigh in aggravation, "Do you want your enemies riding up here in their twenties?"

Lexa swallowed her angry retort. She could admit she was impressed by the skaigona's quick thinking. And really Raven's plan was brilliant. If the army outside only had the stairs to use then Lexa's warriors would have height and restfulness to their advantage. They could easily overpower their enemies on the stairs. If it worked, Raven would save many of her people.

"You're officially a war general" she told the mechanic. Raven waved her hand back at her.

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever" She gave Lexa her sword back and accepted the commander's help up to her feet. Raven nodded to the panel panting when she sagged into Lexa's side. "That should do it. We'll get to the top but the elevator won't respond if anybody calls it down. In the meantime I can get my people to blow the stairs behind Sev's warriors"

Lexa frowned at her, "And trap us up here?"

"Not if you kill them all" The mechanic shrugged. She looked seriously at Lexa, "Here's the plan. You tell your people to get to a lower level. Fifteen should be the right enough if Sev's army is moving fast. I'll get my people on the ground to blow the doors downstairs and then the stairs. Nobody gets in. Nobody gets up. When this is all over we'll worry about getting out of here"

Lexa nodded in agreement. It was a solid enough plan.

The two women silently waited for the numbers above the door to stop going up. When they hit the highest level the elevator could reach they stepped out into a crowd of Lexa's warriors rushing about. Without waiting for permission Lexa picked Raven back up and carried her out into the hall. She called out to her warriors, trying to get them to the stairs as planned. The commander quickly handed Raven off to one and ordered that she be taken upstairs to be guarded by the flame keepers where she could be safe while she radioed her people. Raven's scowling look of outrage at being handed around and carried about like a doll would have had Lexa exchanging an even darker scowl with the girl if the corridor hadn't suddenly filled with enemy warriors.

Raven had been wrong. Sev's army had moved a whole lot fast then they'd thought.

"Gonot!" Lexa screamed at the warrior holding Raven.

She turned at his running away with the mechanic swearing loudly at her over his shoulder. Lexa drew a deep breath seeing the fierce men and women charging towards her and raised her sword ready for the next fight.

* * *

 ** _Translations;_**

 _Sha, strikon - Yes, little one_

 _Tel osir op un sontaim kom skai - Tell us a story from the sky_

 _Otaim - Always_

 _Ai moba - I'm sorry_

 _Igranronakru - Plain riders_

 _Kapa shilkru - City guards_

 _Heda stedaun - The commander is dead_

 _Yu gonneplie ste oden - Your fight is over_

 _Skaigona - Sky girl_

 _Gonot - Go._


	9. I Will Be Here

"Heda!"

Indra's scream echoed in Lexa's ears as she fought off her opponent. Around her the battle was slowly being won by her people, despite the incredible loss that had happened the moment the enemy had flooded the floor in a surprise attack. Now, after nearly an hour of constant raging battle, only a small group of the delphikru resistance remained inside the top half of the tower to fight. But more, Lexa feared, would surely be on their way. Her people needed to clear the throne room quickly. Before they were overrun again.

"Heda!" Indra called again, closer this time.

Lexa growled beneath her breath and arched her arms back away from her previous lunge forward. She had been trying to disarm her opponent, but indra's yells had distracted her. Allowing her opponent to avoid her swing and throw his own at her head.

Her blade clashed with the growling man's in front of her. Both of them were breathing heavy. They had been fighting each other for a long time now and both were beginning to lose strength. Lexa had tried her best to outmanoeuvre him, but he was strong and skilled. Almost as skilled as a nightblood; something she'd only experienced once before with King Roan. Anytime she moved to strike this warrior down, he moved out of the way, or warded her off. She was beginning to think that if she couldn't kill him, then she would have to do her damned best to last him out. With both their stamina's quickly draining it wouldn't take long. Lexa just had to make sure she didn't lose all her energy on this one fight. There were far too many enemies left to allow her entire strength to leave her.

The two warriors circled one another closely. Like two eagles waiting to strike. He tried to play with her; feigning to the left or right quickly just to make her react. Lexa never did. If there was one thing Titus had taught her well it was to hold a good poker face in a fight. It angered the man, causing his already red face to darken dangerously. Lexa kept on her toes the angrier he seemed to grow. She knew anger carried strength when lashed out suddenly. If he struck at her and she wasn't ready, she would suffer for it.

"Heda!"

Lexa heard Indra's bark of her name once more, followed by more that she couldn't catch. She thought she heard Clarke's name. Lexa turned her head to quickly glance around the room for her general. In the same moment her opponent leapt at her. Lexa's torso span straight and she caught his blade for what must have been the hundredth time. Tiredly she pushed him back with a short impatient snarl.

The two grounders stood opposite one another again, slouched slightly, breathing hard and staring the other down. Both were exhausted. Both knew they were too well matched to win the fight outright. Lexa's arms were beginning to burn and become sore. Her palms stung from the constant metallic whiplash of catching the brute force of her opponent's strikes. She was becoming slower. But so was he.

His chest heaved with burdened breaths. His heart pumped too quick in his chest. Lexa knew the exertion would tamper with his ability to think quick whereas she was Natblida. Titus had rarely given his students time to breathe. In training and out of it.

Lexa watched the man standing opposite her fiercely. He was glaring at her, staring obsessively with deep bloodlust. She could tell he hated her. Could tell her wanted deeply to kill her. In any way possible.

The commander's expression dipped and she glanced into her peripheral noticing the Delphi man's cold dark eyes flicker quickly past her shoulder. She turned quickly recognising that he was signalling to somebody behind her. Lexa whipped about and raised her arm and in a fluid jab sent the sharp point of her sword straight through the throat of the grounder that had been trying to sneak up on her. Lexa span straight back around after to find, as suspected, her opponent mid-stride, making to attack.

The commander ducked his wide swing and stepped quickly around him. In the same moment she curved her sword up and sliced around his unprotected ribs. In the seconds he cried out and faltered forward clutching his side, Lexa used the last of her energy to knock him forward to his knee and then hop up and strike down, cleaving her sword through the warrior's skull.

His body went rigid at first and then lifelessly limp. He collapsed to his knees bleeding at her feet, held up by the commander's sword stuck in his skull.

Lexa breathed heavily. Her expression twisted in disgust. Despite being a good fighter and an almost honourable warrior, she didn't give the man the honour of a death blessing as her boot slammed between his shoulders to aid her in yanking her sword out of his body.

The commander span around after the warrior's lifeless slump to the ground. With eyes picking through the crowded hall of bodies and blood to where her general was shoving her way through the fight towards her heda.

"Indra!" Lexa called out moving forward to meet the trikru chief. Her sword cut left and right as she did, cleaning her path to Indra.

Opposite her Indra was doing the same.

"The night bloods?" Lexa asked the moment they met panting together in the centre of the room. Her eyes ran all over Indra. She was covered in dirt and blood. Others' and her own. Lexa winced watching it gush down Indra's face from a deep looking cut on the chieftain's brow.

Indra ignored her commander's silent concern and gave her quick reassurance of the nightbloods' safety.

"Gaia protects them" Indra panted failing to catch a full breath. Her eyes were wide in fear and it made Lexa's stomach clench nervously.

"What is it?" She asked urgently.

Indra met her eyes and Lexa saw her swallow as if scared.

"It's Clarke" she said clenching her sword tightly in her hand when Lexa's attention snapped straight on her, "There was trouble before, with Raven's idea. Skaikru were overwhelmed and Clarke refused to stay with Gaia and the nightbloods. I saw her and Aden running-"

"Where?!" Lexa snapped already walking fast out of the room.

Indra followed scared at the look of outright anger that had crossed over Lexa's features before she had stormed off to find her lover. The aged warrior found herself struggling to keep up with her young infuriated Heda. Even with the odd warrior pouncing in to block Lexa's way, the commander was still hard to keep pace with. She was too fuelled by anger and fear and desperation to find Clarke to even think about slowing down for the hurt Tree chief to catch up with her.

"You were charged with making sure she was safe!" Lexa growled shortly to Indra while she withdrew her sword wet with fresh blood from another warrior.

Indra frantically nodded, blinding herself with her own blood in the process. She rapidly wiped it out of her eyes.

"I tried, Heda! But the traitors flooded the lower levels. They were on us before Raven could order her people to blow the tower doors. I had to split my warriors to defend us and-"

"I will hear your excuses later!" Lexa snapped impatiently over her, "That's assuming you are still alive to make them!"

Indra felt a cold tingle run down her back with her Heda's words. She didn't doubt Lexa's anger. The general knew that if Clarke was the least bit harmed, Lexa would personally cut her to pieces.

"Sha, Heda" she mumbled, running quickly to catch up with Lexa so she could lead her to where she'd last seen Clarke.

They rushed down the bloody hall, climbing over numerous bodies- friends and foes- to get to the stairs. An enemy warrior leapt forward before they could make it past the elevator, baring his teeth at both women in a daring grin.

Indra barely had time to raise her sword to attack when Lexa moved forward as if there was no threat ahead of her.

The brutish man allowed the commander closer, flipping his sword in his hand with a sly grin. He raised it when she was a couple feet away and made ready to growl an insult in Lexa's direction. His lips had barely peeled back past his teeth when he saw Lexa's arm move and felt Lexa's hand close around the right side of his neck. He heard her violent growl and saw the fire in her dark eyes briefly before her other hand touched his head and forced it to the side. He heard and felt his head cracking into the closed metal doors of the elevator behind him.

Lexa continued to bash the man's skull against the door, uncaring of his gasps and hurt cries. Or that his blood soon covered her hands. Or that his breaths were quickly sagging down into clawed huffs until a harsh crack and fresh blood signalled his death. She let her anger overtake her, making her continue to smash the now dead man's broken skull into the door. He had come here to kill. He had come to attack her, her people, her family. He deserved to die.

"Heda.." Indra sounded hesitant behind the crazed girl. She wasn't sure whether to stop her. She was scared to.

Indra watched a moment longer until the sick feeling in her stomach twisted too much for her to stand any longer. She strode forward and took a gentle but still firm grip of the commander's wrist.

"Lexa" she breathed gently, trying to coax her back to herself.

Lexa's dark eyes snapped to Indra's gentler ones, dark with anger and heavy with bloodlust.

"Clarke" Indra whispered to her, squeezing Lexa's wrist, hoping she would calm and remember the reason behind her anger.

Lexa blinked, and then nodded. She threw the dead man from her grasp and moved on. Indra kept close by her side guiding her as they sped down the hall to the stairs. They descended one floor but could go no further as the stairs had been destroyed by Skaikru as a means to trap the enemy and deter their progress up. It was too dangerous to leap down. And they had no idea how many Delphi warriors were waiting for them. To attempt it would be suicide.

"She ran down there before the stairs blew" Indra informed her commander, who was stood peering down at the rubble below thoughtfully. Indra worried Lexa was planning to leap the massive gap down. She knew it couldn't be done. They'd most likely break their legs attempting.

Lexa turned abruptly leaving Indra behind her as she made her way to the elevator. Indra turned too, confused, and stood still watching on while Lexa prised open the elevator doors. Indra didn't know what Lexa was doing. Raven had stopped the elevator from functioning. Or so she had assured them all. So what was Lexa doing?

The chieftain watched the younger woman lean back after forcing the elevator door open. Lexa carefully slipped her sword through her belt. Indra felt her confusion grow and then her heart leap up into her throat when her commander leapt forward into the open air of the elevator shaft.

Indra rushed forward and stared in disbelief at Lexa hanging suspended in the air opposite her with a tight grip on the cables that carried the elevator up and down the tower.

Lexa looked up from examining the dark space below and scowled at her staring companion.

"Well?!" she barked annoyed, "What're you waiting for?!"

Indra leant forward to look down the elevator shaft. Her gut twisted looking down at the open space below. She wasn't afraid of heights. But she had seen the result of falling from such a great one. Lexa had kicked quite a few people off her tower back in the day after all. Indra had no desire to die that way.

The Trikru chief looked up and sighed to herself catching Lexa's impatience grow. Quickly she copied her commander and slipped her sword through her belt. Then she wiped her hands dry of blood and sweat on her pants and leapt out into the open air ahead of her. Indra grabbed onto the dangling cable beside Lexa and fought the immediate burn in her arms as they fought with gravity to hold her up. She nodded quickly to Lexa for them to get going.

Lexa immediately released her grip on her general, having grabbed her shirt to catch her the moment she had leapt from the floor into the shaft. She quickly muttered an order to her chief to lock her feet against the cable and shimmy down. They began to slowly let their bodies slide down the cable, making sure not to go too fast to avoid cutting their hands open with friction. For Lexa it was far too slow.

The commander climbed tense and angry. Her mind raced with worry despite her telling herself only to focus climbing down to the level that Indra had last heard from Clarke. Questions filled the thoughts between breaths. Why didn't clarke stay with Raven? How could she have broken her promise? Why didn't Aden stop her? What if Clarke was hurt? And the baby?

Lexa ground her teeth together and forced the rage down. She would personally skin the flesh alive from any who had dared touched her princess and their child.

Indra made sure to keep a steady distance behind Lexa as they climbed. She'd seen the murder fill her commander's eyes. Had seen them turn from their usual warm forest green to a cold coal like black. It was no secret Lexa was furious. Hell, the dead man upstairs was testament enough. Remembering the wild look on Lexa's face as she'd killed him with her bare hands, and then carried on well after his spirit had left his body...

It filled with Indra with a strong and foreign fear of her commander.

She shook her head to herself to clear it of the feeling. Indra knew Lexa. She knew this wasn't who she usually was. Lexa was calm and rational. This was just battle stress and fear taking hold of her. Indra had seen Lexa like this only once before. When Costia had been stolen her. Sometimes at night, when the memories crowded her unsteady dreams, Indra still heard Lexa's voice screaming her fury at Azgeda's cruelty. She still heard the screams of the Azgeda delegation that Lexa herself had outright slaughtered the day she was delivered Costia's head. Nobody could have calmed her that day. Not Anya. Not Gus. And certainly not Indra.

The chieftain worried what might happen should Lexa find Clarke harmed like Costia had been. She knew losing another love would break Lexa entirely. Especially when that love carried Lexa's child.

"Heda-"

Lexa's bloody hand coming up silenced Indra's attempt of comforting the commander. And it reminded her she shouldn't.

Indra snapped her mouth shut and climbed obediently in silence while the tired breaths of her commander a couple of paces below her staggered and then calmed. With Indra's confirmation of the floor level Lexa swung her body against the cable to leap onto the slim ledge where the elevator would halt and connect to the tower floor. With balance perfected from years of training, the commander wrenched open the doors and crept quickly into the hall outside. Lexa looked about herself and then turned back to quietly call Indra out. The general slid down the last of the cable and swung through the open doorway, stumbling backwards a little when her feet hit the floor wrong. She cussed beneath her breath when she felt herself falling backwards towards the elevator shaft. Lexa's hand fisted into the front of her shirt stopped her falling to her death.

"Mochof" she panted shaking off the feeling of hopeless dread that had filled her thinking she'd been about to fall. Indra jumped and lurched into action at Lexa's impatient look of command.

"Where now?" Lexa whisper barked at her.

Indra shook her head. She didn't know. She had only heard Clarke on the radio, saying that she was on this level helping her people. She had no idea where the troublesome Skaiprisa was now. She could be anywhere.

Lexa turned towards her general with a thunderous expression. She'd began raising her hand to possibly strike Indra for her incompetence. But a body slamming into the floor down the hall halted her.

The two grounders looked over and Lexa gasped seeing Aden struggling to his hands and knees. He was smothered in blood and dust. Cuts and bruises covered his face and neck. He haunched over bowing his body into the floor as if he was convulsing, and he coughed, sending black blood all over the floor beneath him. Aden groaned in pain and tried to get back up. His arms seemed to tremble beneath him.

Lexa's immediate race to help him halted when she saw Aden tense up and turn his head with a fearing but determined expression to the side. A body entered the corridor behind him and moved like a blur towards the young man. All too suddenly a knife was moving through the air with the blur.

"Agh!" Aden screamed clutching at the blade impaled in his shoulder.

Lexa was desperate to help but found herself locked frozen staring at the man approaching Aden to kill him. He wore tight fitted furs and thick pants. His skin was littered with battle scars and scarified decorations. White paint crossed his eyes, smudged with a black liquid that Lexa just knew was Aden's blood. He was tall and incredibly muscular. And...

"Azgedian!" Indra angrily growled as he kicked Aden down again. She started moving forward past Lexa to take him down herself. Lexa just stared at the man. Azgeda had lied to her? Roan had lied to her?

The Azgedian looked up with his boot on Aden's chest and he grinned wickedly noticing the two women while he drew a hatchet off his belt to finish off the pinned nightblood. Lexa felt herself fill with panic seeing Aden desperately claw at the man's boot. Indra's leap at the man did nothing to bring Aden to freedom. Instead she was caught and thrown like a doll to the floor too. Lexa saw the Azgedian return his attention to her nightblood and ripped her sword from her belt.

"Yu ste kwelen strikskat," His raspy voice chilled Lexa to the bone. The Azgedian's evil smile grew as he grabbed hold of Aden's shirt to pull him up, "An wor ste nou kamp raun fo kwelen strikskats"

He had drawn Aden closer while he talked, so he could grin smugly in the younger man's face.

Acting defiantly, Aden spat at him and growled "Natrona!" at the man, earning himself a hard punch to the face.

The Azgedian laughed to himself when Aden fell backwards dazed. He tightened his grip on the nightblood and glanced to Lexa a moment, and his eyes twinkled with an evil gleam.

"Watch your precious nightblood's spirit fly"

Lexa's heart staggered inside her chest while the man twisted his torso and brought the hatchet back to swing down. Her eyes locked desperately with Indra behind the two men. Indra pulled a knife from her leg and Lexa nodded

"Aden!" she yelled causing the Azgedian to freeze in his stab down at the younger man. Lexa grabbed hold of the moment and threw her sword to her Nightblood.

Aden caught the knife that Indra had secretly slid to him from across the hall while the Azgedian had been distracted by Lexa, and stabbed it hard into the warrior's boot. He quickly kicked the Azgedian off his feet once the man had lifted his foot off his chest in reflex.

Aden rolled to the side in time to catch Lexa's blade in both hands. He yelled out in pain as it cut into his fingers while he twisted himself to kneel and shoved it upwards into the chin of the howling Azgedian warrior, who had stumbled to his knee in front of the nightblood. The sharp blade skimmed down after, following the curve of the azgedians chin and throat, tearing through skin and sinew when Aden applied greater pressure. The other man lurched backwards falling to his rear on the ground spluttering and holding his newly torn throat. Indra finished him quickly, silencing his gurgled cries with a quick snap of the neck.

Aden panted hard and dropped the commander's sword. It clattered to the ground, splattering it with black and red droplets.

"Mochof... Heda!" he gasped ripping the knife from his shoulder and slumping back weakly.

Lexa ran and slid to his side to hold his face in her hands.

"Are you hurt?" She asked quickly, scanning his face and chest for wounds.

Aden seemed to shudder in her hold, "Nothing too bad, Heda" he assured her pulling his arm up to hold against his broken ribs.

Lexa nodded though her worry barely subsided.

"Aden, where is Clarke?" She demanded holding him tighter when he failed to respond straight away.

Aden winced and raised a bleeding hand to point down the corridor.

"Raven was radioing her people, telling them to destroy the stairs.." Aden paused to pant heavily. Lexa put a gentle hand against his chest in concern but he shook his head to say he was okay, "When we heard them attacked, and Raven couldn't get hold of any other Skaikru, Clarke took off. I followed to stop her but she wouldn't listen to me. She said we had to help her people"

Aden frowned to himself remembering what had come next. His head was feeling too fuzzy to draw all the details. In fact, his vision was getting fuzzy too. He stared at Lexa, trying to focus on making her less blurry to him. He groaned when doing so made him nauseas. Lexa's hands guided him to his back on the floor where he swallowed against the need to vomit. He heard his teacher instruct him to breathe and did so slowly with her while she probed his chest and exchanged muttered words with Indra.

"What happened after you destroyed the stairs, Aden?" Lexa's question came sharp. And not just because she was desperate to know where Clarke had gone. But because Aden had paled considerably and looked as if he was losing consiousness. She gently slapped his cheek to get him to answer her.

"We destroyed the stairs... and we were ambushed. I told Clarke to run. She went that way"

He raised his hand up to point at the same corridor that the Azgedian had come from.

Lexa nodded and gently set her nightblood's head on the ground. She told him to stay there and stay awake, and handed him the Azgedian's hatchet so he could protect himself if needed. Then she rose to her feet and strode down the hall, following the map of bloody bodies that had fallen to Aden's sword.

Her eyes barely took in the dead men and women she trod on and over. Neither did she register Indra walking beside her. Lexa could only think about how Clarke and Aden had been ambushed. How some of those warriors were Azgedian. How now yet another kru had betrayed her. How she feared if she looked outside she would see Roan's armies inside her city too. And of course, she thought of Clarke. And how she could be the next body she trod over.

"Heda"

Lexa glanced back at Indra and followed the point of her sword to another lying abandoned on the floor. It was broken and covered in blood. Lexa's heart began thumping hard when she recognised it. How could she not? She had been the one that made it.

"It's Clarke's" she husked forcing herself to carry on. She was scared to. Clarke was unarmed and alone. Something had broken her sword. Had possibly followed her. What else would Lexa find?

"There" Indra nodded after a time to the blood on the floor ahead of them. Lexa stared at it. It lead to a room. Her room.

Lexa's heart beat harshly in her chest while she neared the door to the Commander quarters. There was smeared blood on the walls. It could be anybody's. But she was terrified it was Clarke's.

"Of course she came here" she mumbled to herself and approached the door.

She reached out to take the handle but stopped when Indra slapped her own hand down over it.

"Listen!" Indra hissed to her when she scowled.

Lexa tilted her head and pushed her hearing. Past the sounds of the fighting happening upstairs and outside, she heard another battle taking place. Inside her room. Where Clarke was supposed to be.

There was a sound of scuffling. Feet shifting and items being thrown. And then a hard thud hitting the floor and a hoarse cry. Lexa's blood ran cold at the scream of pain that followed.

"Clarke!"

She tried to open the door but found it barred. Lexa let out a low growl and pushed her entire weight to the door, desperate to get to her partner. Indra joined her at the door and together they slammed their bodies as one into the old wood. Lexa heard a cracking as whatever was holding the doors closed broke under their assault against it. She shoved Indra aside and raised her leg into a powerful kick at the seam of the two doors, smashing them open.

She furiously burst into the room with Indra on her heels.

The commander quickly took in the mess on the floor and stepped over it quickly towards the body lying still near the window. She stared at it and felt sick as she crouched and reached out to roll it over.

"It's not her" Indra said studying the dead warrior herself.

She could see why they had worried. From behind the dead woman had looked like clarke. She was blonde too and held Clarke's build- minus the baby bump. But her face held tattoos distinctly belonging to the Bluecliff clan, specifically the chief's line. Indra stared at the young dead woman. She filled with instant dread. Killing a chief's blood meant war.

Lexa was too busy trying to calm her racing heart to care much about the dead warrior and what her death would bring to them. It wasn't Clarke.

Then where was she?

She turned her head, blade rising in her hand ready to use. Her eyes ran over the fallen books on the floor and the upturned table, the tears in the couch, the wax from the candles that had been pushed over and then trodden through. Her eyes latched on a book by the table, its pages strewn everywhere. Clarke's sketches were crumpled about it, coloured with red.

Lexa felt her breaths labour with the speed of fear in her heart. Where was Clarke?

"Lexa"

Lexa looked back at Indra, who nodded to the other side of the room. Lexa looked too and spotted the woman curled on her side on the bed. She instantly recognised the voice beneath the near silent sobs.

"Clarke!" Lexa lurched to her feet and approached the blonde. She stopped by the bed and stared at the shuddering woman laying haunched into herself. She'd never seen Clarke like this before.

"Clarke?" She reached out with her hand and touched the sobbing woman's shoulder.

Clarke slowly peered up at her and fresh tears streamed faster down her cheeks. Lexa looked from her lover's bruised face to the bump that held their child. Her hand immediately went to the torn blood soaked hide covering it.

"What's wrong?!" She panicked moving to hastily unbuckle the armour at the side and pull Clarke's shirt up so she could hold the bump in both hands. Her eyes scanned it obsessively, "Is he okay? Clarke?"

Lexa looked up unable to find any cuts to explain the blood and froze seeing the blonde silently weeping in front of her.

In the corner, Indra watched as her commander realised what must have happened. She felt grief hit her too seeing the pain in her commander's eyes.

Lexa felt her shoulders slump and her posture slouch. Her breath left her. Her heart stopped. Everything stopped. Her body was breaking. And so was her hope. She bowed her head and felt tears reach her eyes.

She had failed him. She'd failed them both.

The commander squeezed her eyes shut and moved a hand into the furs to fist angrily. She felt furious with herself. She should have never left Clarke alone. She shouldn't have abandoned her child and its mother when they needed her protection. She should have stayed and kept them safe. Instead she hadn't. She had been selfish again.

"Ai moba" she whispered hoarsely fighting off the tears threatening to spill down her face. She felt Clarke shaking inside the grip she had still on her belly. Lexa felt miserable knowing she would never feel her baby inside it again.

"Ai moba, strikon" she mumbled stroking her thumb against Clarke's soft flesh, as she has so many times before. Lexa felt her tears sliding free thinking how she had lost everything.

And then she felt the little kicks against her palm. Soft at first and then much more harder.

Lexa's head lifted and she stared down at her hand on Clarke's belly unable to let herself dare to hope.

And then it happened again.

And again and again.

"He's okay!" she choked leaning her head down to rest against her unborn child.

Relief swept through her like a crashing tide. Her tears fell like a dam being released. She cried relief silently against Clarke's stomach and cradled the bump preciously in her hands.

"You're okay" she told it strongly, "You're okay. I promise, you'll always be okay"

She kissed it again and again as she repeated the promise. Until finally her eyes moved up to clarke. The blonde was watching her but Lexa could tell she wasn't seeing her at all. She could see the shock in clarke's eyes. The disbelief. Even though the child was alive and moving inside of her, she somehow still believed that it was dead. Lexa moved up to clarke and held her face in her hands. Clarke barely moved.

"She is in shock" Indra commented when Lexa stared at her lover in concern.

Lexa nodded. Her eyes searched the depths of clarke's.

"She thought we lost him" she husked sorely.

"No, Heda. She thought she lost the child" Lexa gave her general the briefest of glances. Indra let go a heavy breath, "We've all seen how happy it has made you to know you will have a child. To think it had been ripped away, to feel the blame for it? I am not surprised she is upset"

Lexa understood. She knew clarke enough to know she would forever carry the blame for losing something so precious. But Lexa would never blame her.

She moved to sit beside the blonde on the bed and gently pulled her into her arms and cradled her against her chest. She felt the shake run through clarke's body and then the tears falling to soak her shirt.

"It's okay" she whispered kissing every inch of clarke she could reach.

Indra thought to give the couple their privacy and so left to scout the hall and guard the door. Lexa was grateful for it.

"Shh" she hushed rocking a sobbing clarke in her arms, "Clarke, he's okay. Our baby is still alive" the bump nudged her palm, maybe to hint she carry on, "And he's kicking. Can't you feel him?"

Lexa grasped clarke's hand and pressed it beneath her own over the bump. Just as she hoped it kicked hard under his mother's hand, causing her to peer down at it from the safety of Lexa neck. Slowly Clarke sat up and ran her hands over her stomach, waiting hopefully in doubt. Lexa bit her lip and prayed their child answered clarke.

He kicked.

Again.

And again.

Until Lexa was certain the child was playing a drum in his mother's womb.

Clarke let go the tiniest of gasps feeling it all and then she was crying all over again. Lexa leant forward and held her again. She stroked Clarke's red stained hair and rubbed her back while the blonde continued to cry into her.

"I'm sorry!" Clarke choked between tears, "I'm so sorry!"

Lexa shook her head.

"There is nothing to be sorry for" she answered back strongly.

"I didn't see her follow me. I was looking for you. Aden and I-... I had to help my people, Lexa. I couldn't-" Clarke's sobs broke Lexa's heart. She held clarke tighter and gently shushed her.

"It's okay" she whispered kissing Clarke's brow, "Shh, Clarke. It's okay" Lexa peered over at the dead body on the floor, "What happened after you blew the stairs?"

Clarke sniffed before answering, "We were planning to follow my people to the foyer, to hold the doors. But we ran into a bunch of Delphikru. We tried to fight but there were too many. Aden told me to run"

"And your sword?" Lexa asked. Clarke sighed miserably.

"I broke it. I'm sorry, Lexa"

Lexa shook her head and kissed Clarke's brow again, "Swords can be fixed" she glanced at the dead warrior again, "And her?"

Clarke shuddered, refusing to look over at the young woman she had just killed. Clarke shook her head to clear the muddled thoughts inside it. She looked up at Lexa.

"I was looking for you. Somebody said they'd seen you down here. I wanted to get you out before we went downstairs"

"Who?" Lexa questioned in a razor voice. All her warriors had been fighting with her in the throne room. Or outside in the market. Nobody with a radio fighting should have thought she was in her room. The assumption was offensive to her too. She was not one to cower in her bed while her people died for her.

Clarke shook her head

"It doesn't matter now. But that girl, she-..." Clarke looked to the body on the floor in the middle of the room and shuddered to herself,

"I lost the others. But she followed me and...and.." Clarke cringed in on herself, curling herself into Lexa around her bump, "She said she was going to cut heda's life from her. And that she would start by cutting heda's child from me" Clarke whimpered fighting new tears, "And then she was going t-to.. to" She broke off sobbing and hid herself into Lexa's neck unable to finish.

Lexa's arms circled Clarke tightly. Clarke even felt them flexing protectively around her. Lexa understood what would have happened next. What that warrior would have done to their child and Clarke in front of Lexa. Memories of watching costia's head being delivered to her squeezed her heart. She breathed slowly with her fury and focused on Clarke and their child. She would make the traitors pay in more than just blood for this.

"How did you kill her?" She asked it gently, treading carefully knowing that clarke would probably not want to relive the details. Lexa couldn't help but be curious though. Without a sword and without using her gun, clarke had somehow managed to overcome a grounder warrior years younger than herself. She marvelled how clarke had done it. Especially after the blonde had vowed against killing after the last war that had ravaged their lands.

The blonde slumped weakly in her arms.

"She wanted to kill my family" clarke husked in a numb voice, "I wasn't me when it happened. I was her again. I was back at that mountain. And the ark compound. And the river lands" clarke sniffed, "I wasn't me"

Lexa kissed clarke's temple, "Wanheda" she sighed and held clarke closer.

She understood why clarke felt bad. She wasn't the fighter. But the buried part of her she kept denying was. When clarke couldn't take the kill wanheda would step up. Lexa found clarke's continuation of the split personality troubling. She worried for her. Greatly.

"Then thank her for me" she breathed kissing clarke's face again, "She protected my family today. She saved them"

She was trying to make clarke see her fighter side wasn't as evil as she believed it was. It has done good, today and before. But Clarke never saw past the blood and the blame. Lexa pressed their hands to the bump

"This, clarke. This is worth killing thousands for. No single life is worth more than our child's. Not one. Not even mine. You killed today for him. To protect him. And you did it for me too" she brought clarke close so she could kiss her, "I would kill an entire earth of people if it saved you from death. And a universe more for him. I would make the whole world burn. Because you are my family. And protecting you is my first and only duty before being the commander"

Lexa moved back to see if her words were making any affect. Clarke looked thoughtful. So she carried on.

"Wanheda isn't the dark in you, clarke. She is the survival side of you. She is the one who makes the decisions and takes the burden after. You've done terrible things it's true. But you've done wonderful things too. Don't bury that part of you away again. Embrace it. Learn from it" Lexa pressed her palm to their bump, "He needs the whole of his mother. Not just the skaigada or the healer. But the warrior and the survivor too. How will he learn to accept himself if his mother cannot accept herself?"

Lexa looked back at Clarke. She was staring at the commander. She looked angry but Lexa knew it wasn't directed at her. After a long moment clarke's blue gaze drifted away to the blood on her hands.

"I don't want to kill people anymore" clarke shyly mumbled. Lexa's eyes watched her sadly

"In this reality you have no choice"

"Kill or be killed" Clarke uttered bitterly. Her fingers drove a circle through the blood on her stomach and then she nodded.

"I'll try" she whispered.

Lexa kissed her head and pulled her close.

"And I will be here with you" she promised, "Always"

The couple looked up hearing Indra's sudden shout in warning to them. More of Sev's warriors had broken into the tower to join the fight. Lexa looked down at Clarke beside her and breathed through the fear she felt inside herself. She couldn't stop Clarke from joining the fight. They were outnumbered and trapped. Clarke looked back at her. She brought Lexa close and kissed her one last time before she moved away to stand beside the bed. Lexa heard Indra shouting outside the room as she leapt from the bed herself to collect up her sword. Clarke was at her side the second she started heading towards the door. With a mean expression on her face and her gun in her hand. Lexa couldn't help but stare briefly at it. Clarke hadn't wielded a gun in over a decade. The flash of memories it brought to mind made Lexa tingle. Especially when clarke looked so fiercely at the door.

"Is it wrong of me to say I've missed this side of you?" Lexa asked as they neared the door together.

Clarke's lips twitched, "Later"

Lexa smirked and opened her mouth to say more but the door swung open on them.

Indra flew backwards into the room and landed with a long pained groan on her back at their feet. The large man that had apparently thrown her ducked beneath the door seconds later swinging an axe in his hands. He spotted the two other women in the room and grinned knowing he had more kills to make.

He took a step forward towards them all. Lexa bared her teeth at him and raised her sword ready to charge at him. But before she could take even one step towards the intruder the gun in the blondes hand beside her went off and the man collapsed backwards with a bullet buried in his head. Lexa looked back at Clarke, who was shaking a little from the kill but otherwise seemed alright. It seemed she had taken Lexa's advice and released her Wanheda.

"Your aim has improved" she dared to tease.

Clarke blinked and glanced back at her. Lexa waited nervously. Eventually to her relief Clarke actually smiled.

Lexa moved forward and bent down to her war general. Indra struggled to sit up at first but with Clarke's help too was soon on her feet again and angry like a rabid dog. She spat on the dead man's body and turned to Lexa for her orders.

"We have to clear the tower" lexa said looking between the two women seriously, "This isn't the entire army. Just a small portion Sev sent to test our defences"

Indra nodded in agreement, "But we're divided" she pointed out, "Most of our people are fighting on the ground. Should we rejoin them?"

Lexa shook her head, "We should go to the Gaia and the Nightbloods. Keeping them safe is our only concern"

Clarke grabbed a hold of Lexa's arm when she began to head to the door.

"What about the rest of your people?" She asked with a deep frown for Lexa's decision. Lexa gently cupped the blonde's cheek and looked down on her softly.

"If there are no Nightbloods, then there is no commander. Without that, there are no people. My death means nothing when there are others to carry the flame. But without them, without a leader, our people will descend into chaos. Like Sev wants"

Clarke bit her lip fighting down the urge to argue. She hastily nodded instead. She figured they could be of more use to their people fighting outside once they got to a working radio.

"Quickly!" Lexa hurried the two women out of her bedroom and back to where she and Indra had left Aden. When they found the corridor bloody and bare, clarke let out a soft whimper. Lexa took her hand and squeezed it.

"He's okay. I know it"

Indra hissed at the couple to hurry. The two women exchanged an impatient look and followed the chieftain towards the elevator. They could hear screams echoing around them from different fights within the tower. It disoriented clarke a little, and made her shake with quiet fear with every step she took after lexa. The commander sensed that her Sky princess was afraid. She wasn't raised for war. Her instincts told her to cower instead of fight. Despite the battles they had fought together through the years, lexa understood well the hardship of fighting against nature. So she reached back and grasped Clarke's bloodstained hand and held it tight with her own.

"Ste yuj, niron" She softly murmured, rubbing circles with her thumb against Clarke's knuckles. Clarke's hand withdrew to slid inside lexas palm, fingers locking through the commanders.

After the first initial climb up the elevator shaft they opted to use the stairs. The trio then climbed up three more levels with little disruption before they were stopped by several warriors who had been trying to smash down a locked door. The two groups stared at each other, and then the first few warriors were running at the commander.

Lexa dropped Clarke's hand and stepped forward to meet the first warrior. Her sword clashed with the woman's axe, breaking the shaft in half. The other woman stumbled backwards and snarled. She then threw the broken weapon down and dove at Lexa, who gasped out when the shine of a knife blade headed towards her throat. Lexa quickly ducked backwards. She winced when she felt the knife pass along her collarbone. The two women grappled, and Lexa heard Clarke's cry and the bang of her gun as she tried to shoot the one that had hurt her lover when Lexa managed to throw her off herself. Lexa felt herself bleed into her shirt and looked down at the small wound, and then, growling furiously, she kicked up into the other woman's chest, throwing her backwards into the other warrior's rushing forwards to take her on. Lexa backed up a couple steps to duck and roll from her next opponent's swing at her. She gripped her knife mid roll and straightened up in time to stab it into the warrior's neck and turn to catch her next opponents blade.

Next to her Indra was fighting two warriors at once. They circled her, baiting her with cruel taunts before they dove forward to jab at her. Indra held them off every time but her energy was waning. She knew they were merely playing with her. Once she became tired enough they would kill her and attack Lexa. So Indra backed up, forcing their fight towards Lexa's. The warriors continued to taunt and goad her but she ignored their words easily. The Trikru general waited patiently to strike.

Lexa caught her eye as she fended off her own warrior and once understanding Indra's look, caught the man's blade and kicked down at his knee. The man stumbled forward and lexa grabbed him by his coat to throw him with a yell towards Indra, who turned with her sword ready to cut his head clean off the moment he fell towards her. In the same moment Lexa had slashed the legs from under one of Indra's captors. He cried up at her and growled as he swiped with his knife in a final attempt to kill her. Lexa caught the knife aimed for her face, wincing and snarling through the pain of it passing through her palm. The warrior's victorious smile fell seeing the fury in his commander's dark eyes. He barely had time to beg for his life before she'd thrown her blade into his heart.

Quick footsteps behind her told her the final warrior had realised his coming fate and was trying to make a run for it. She staggered straight and ignored Clarke's concerning touch on her arm. The commander ignored Clarke telling her not to move and gritted her teeth as she pulled the knife out of her hand and threw it hard towards the coward warrior. He cried out and collapsed to his belly the moment it hit him in the back. Lexa made to go after him and finish him off. But Clarke's hand taking a tight hold of her wrist stopped her. She looked down at her princess, who had paled and was staring at the corridor ahead. Lexa turned and froze. The hallway was blocked by warriors who had been drawn by all the noise. More were walking in behind them. More than she and Indra could take, even with Clarke's gun.

Lexa looked them all over and snarled seeing one raise her bow, arrow ready and pointed at the commander. Beside her clarke was glaring murder at the woman.

"Ontari!" she spat the azgedians name hatefully, causing the nightblood to give a short smile. Lexa took a step forward to wipe it off her face. But clarke grabbed her back. The azgedians all began to smile hearing the footsteps approaching behind the commander. Indra turned and swore beneath her breath seeing a second army of warriors fill the hall behind them. They were trapped.

"It seems you're in a spot of trouble, lexa" Ontari grinned at her smugly.

Lexa glared and raised her sword. Her eyes looked among the azgedians in front of her. She would take down as many as she could before she gave herself over to death. Starting with Ontari.

Apparently clarke had the same idea because suddenly her gun was cocked and pointed steadily at the ice nightblood.

Ontari's warriors flinched away from the Skaikru weapon. But Ontari didn't. She simply smiled and stretched her arm back, tightening the string on her bow ready to shoot.

"You know if you shoot her, I shoot you" clarke growled at the woman, "And then your mission to be heda is over"

"Clarke" lexas voice warned her to be quiet. Ontari looked like she was deciding whether to change her aim.

Clarke ignored her. She wouldn't let the woman that had aggravated their lives for the last decade dictate how this was going to end. Her finger slipped onto the trigger of her handgun. It had taken so many lives over the years. Important lives. She didn't have enough hands to count them all. But she found it eerily fitting that the last life it took be Ontari.

Lexa whispered for her to stand down. To think of their child. She could bargain with Ontari to spare clarke and Indra. She was the one they wanted. But her desperate words fell on deaf ears. Wanheda had been roused and now she wanted blood.

"Heda!" she heard Indra's anxious call, notifying her of the warriors closing in behind them.

Lexa thought quickly. Indra could fight at the back and she the front. But two against thirty or more was not a possibility. They would fall eventually.

The Azgedians began stamping the ground and beating their spears. Some shouted and heckled the women. The army behind the trio soon followed suit. It was deafening, and succeeding in making Lexa panic. The commander's attention came back to Ontari stretching her bow back further through the commotion. She stared at the sharp arrowhead that seemed destined for her heart, and then glanced down at clarke beside her. The blonde looked furious and ready to kill whoever in order to protect her family. Lexa was so proud of her.

"Wanheda" Clarke glanced back at her, "Ste yuj fo em, ai prisa"

Lexa grabbed clarke and kissed her head quickly before she turned and charged at Ontari. Clarke cried out behind her. The azgedians ahead drew back in fear. Ontari alone remained still and emotionless. Maybe she was as ready to die as Lexa was.

Lexa took a final breath as she neared the azgedian line. She gave a silent prayer and then leapt at the other nightblood.

Ontari twisted seeing Lexa's attack coming and caught the commander's sword on the top of her bow. She smirked when Lexa's look of cold fury turned to confusion while she turned their locked weapons so she could re-aim and then loose the arrow. Lexa felt the slither of the arrows body passing her left cheek and she heard the entire hall go into a stunned silence as the heavy drop of a body behind her rang too loud. She began breathing hard thinking it had been clarke. Ontari's smug smirk faded the moment she realised Lexa was about to attack again. The younger woman repositioned her hands on the bow and pushed forward with it, forcing it into lexas side to shove her aside. The commander stumbled to the left and raised the knife she'd ripped off her thigh to with the aim to drive it through ontari's cold heart. Lexa pauses hearing a pained moan and looked up at the azgedian warrior in front of her that had caught a spear in his chest; a spear that would have hit her if Ontari hadn't moved her out of the way. The commander looked back in complete confusion at the younger nightblood. Ontari ignored her and yelled a command in azgedian. The warrior's surrounding Lexa charged suddenly, and the cold in lexas heart changed the second she saw them pass around a still standing clarke and Indra to attack the army behind them.

Ontari was helping them?

Lexa exchanges a bewildered look with her lover. She turned her back on the killing in the corridor behind her so she could lock in stares with Ontari. Lexa's expression demanded to know what was going on. Slowly the woman in front of her began to smirk at her. And for the first time ever Lexa felt relief seeing it.

Ontari was helping them.


	10. Sometimes We Have To Fight

**Sometimes We Have To Fight**

 _Summary:_

Post battle comedowns. Ontari has some explaining to do.

 _Notes:_

Hey guys! Sorry its been a while. Gotta job that completely wipes me out so I haven't had much time for writing. So excuse the lack of great stuff in this chapter. Good news; I've written the rest of the story already. Bad news; It needs major editing. So a little wait yet. We'll be time jumping again next chapter too guys. I never meant to get stuck on just one part of the story for so long. My bad. Thanks for sticking with me for so long, and, as always, enjoy! :)

* * *

"I'm starting to lose count now"

Lexa blinked out of her deep stare at the stained floor at their feet, and peered back up at Clarke who was sat on the throne beside her. She'd almost forgotten Clarke was even there. So lost had she been in her thoughts. Her grief. Together they had been sat still in the silence. Neither woman thought it appropriate to talk when so much death surrounded them. Any words that they shared, however quiet and sincere, might still be carried on to the afterlife by the dead warriors lying on the floor around them.

"Lost count of what?" Lexa husked watching Clarke's fingers move ever so gently along the back of her hand.

Lexa's voice was cracked from overuse in battle. The orders and screams and cries had wrought it almost useless now. Speaking caused a terrible itch in the back of her throat, and brought tiny tears to her eyes. And Lexa knew it wasn't just because her vocal chords were shot from all the screaming over battle. When so much death surrounded her, when so many of her people were lost, speaking was equal to poking her fallen warriors with her sword. She felt their loss too deeply. And more so now than she ever had before thanks to their now-former prolonged period of peace, which for so long had made seeing such a devastating loss of life simply a distant aching memory. As simple and fleeting as a sore wound from the past. Lexa knew it was something she would have to get used to again.

She was Heda.

And this was war.

Clarke's eyes had closed the second Lexa had spoke and she'd heard the raw pain in her lover's voice. She knew how upset Lexa was and how hard she was trying to stay in control of her emotions. Clarke found herself with the same struggle. It felt like the Skaikru massacre again. When they had walked side by side into that field of horror and blood and realised that they had both been betrayed by her people. Her heart hurt the same way it had back then. Her eyes filed with the same sort of hopeless tears that she'd fought to keep face when she'd seen what Pike had done. Clarke wondered if she and Lexa would ever be free of it all. Or if they were cursed to forever walk circles with their people. To forever watch the bodies pile up at their feet.

We bear the burden... Even after all these years it still wasn't a comfort. Just a curse.

With a shaking breath, the blonde reached down for the clean bandage lying ready in her lap. She glanced up at Lexa's faraway eyes before she proceeded to wrap the soft fabric around the bleeding wound on the commander's hand. Her mouth twisted just the slightest taking in the cruel injury as she recalled its terrible and unwanted entry into their lives. It wasn't the first time Lexa had caught a blade with her bare hands, and, frustratingly, Clarke knew it wouldn't be the last. In some ways it made her proud. In others she was terrified. What if one day their came a blade that Lexa couldn't catch?

Thinking about it chilled her to the bone.

"Clarke?"

Lexa's free softly hand touched her ankle, asking that she answer her previous question. Clarke let out a slow breath and focused on wrapping the soft material around Lexa's palm.

"How many times I've fixed this hand" she muttered distracted still by the dark thoughts. She missed it but her answer managed to bring just the smallest of smiles to her quiet lover.

Clarke's eyes returned to Lexa's face. She smiled briefly catching the flicker of amusement leaving Lexa's eyes. But then she sighed deeply and looked about them. Her eyes took in all the bodies and blood. And her heart fell again. So many had died today. Some had been her friends.

Sensing her partner's sadness, Lexa reached up to stroke her blonde's cheek. Her injured hand in Clarke's lap slid closer to her stomach, brushing against the stained leather still keeping their baby safe. Her bloody fingers grazed Clarke's skin, freshly staining it with more red and black. She let them slide down off Clarke's left cheek, dribbling the blood like paint in smeary tear patterns, like the paint that still stained her own face.

Clarke watched her intensely the entire, not knowing or trusting fully just where Lexa's mind had gone. She followed Lexa's fingers drawing against her cheek. She trembled a little feeling the sticky friction of the clotted blood on Lexa's fingertips rub on her skin. She already knew what design was being made there. Her eyes followed its pattern on Lexa's cheeks. So much blood was splattered across Lexa's face. It had run and mixed with the warpaint, causing it to smear and drool down onto her neck. All the red and black shone against the droplets of sweat on Lexa's skin. It looked too fresh and too horrific. Like Lexa had carved her way through an army and had then showered in all the blood after. Her eyes, so distraught and exhausted, seemed to shine the greener against all the dark on her face. Clarke focused on them more than the terrifying image of her lover covered in blood. It was the only way to keep herself from rising off the throne to walk off the scared beat in her heart. Lexa didn't scare her. But what it meant, that she was here now covered like this in so much blood; and what it meant for them all now, thats what scared Clarke.

She breathed slowly while she looked down into Lexa's eyes. They held none of the light they usually radiated when she was in Clarke's presence. Instead they were all but snuffed of any life at all. Clarke hated to see them so dull. It was clear that Lexa was thinking about all the death and the coming fights and how Clarke was going to be there too. The blonde could see in Lexa's eyes the tired bitterness for having to carry the title of commander. The fear of the danger it put her family in. The desire to be rid of it all if it kept Clarke's face from ever being this stained in blood again. Clarke didn't know what to say to reassure her. To tell her no matter what it would all be fine. And feeling so lost when she knew Lexa really needed that from her simply broke her heart.

Lexa swallowed against the fresh wave of grief making her feel nauseas and gave Clarke a weak smile that was tiredly returned. Lexa carefully slumped her body down after and bent forward to rest her chin on Clarke's thigh. Her eyes dropped with exhaustion and she huffed over the urge to yawn when Clarke tucked her fingers into her hair.

Clarke looked down at her exhausted partner in concern. She felt the strong urge to say something, anything, that could help soothe her lover. And herself. Because all this death had made her tired and angry. In the back of her mind Wanheda was pacing, waiting. She was wanting revenge. Clarke knew the same thought was probably going through Heda's head too. Clarke knew she would need to speak now if she was ever to stop Lexa charging off towards more danger.

So Clarke swallowed down the thick feeling of dread that had taken up home in her throat and decided to just speak, "Lexa, I know that this is-"

Loud approaching footsteps cut over her.

"Heda!" Ryder called out while he strode quickly into the room with Ontari at his side, "I found her"

Clarke felt Lexa tense up once more against her. The body beneath her hand froze and quivered for a moment. She looked down on her lover with sympathetic eyes. She knew the burden of having to hide away personal feelings in order to lead. She knew Lexa struggled more and more with it as she continued to carry the Commander mantle. She knew this interruption especially would be hard for Lexa. Ontari spelt trouble and danger. To them both and their people. Clarke was proud Lexa was able to seem so calm when she herself wanted to leap off the throne and kill the Azgedian nuisance.

Which Lexa knew of course.

Lexa put a hand on Clarke's leg out of sight of their audience, and squeezed soothingly.

Be calm, the gentle touch said.

She moved it away when she felt the tension leave the body beneath her. She let out a deep breath. And gently pulled Clarke's hands away from her neck and stiffly turned herself to face forward. She froze in surprise seeing the Azgedian step around her guard.

Ontari was covered in blood. Smothered. Every inch of her. It clung to her hair and nails. Stained her shirt and pants. Dripped from her fingertips and slid in slow tear like trails from her hairline and down her face. Lexa dreaded to think what savagery the nightblood had brought upon the enemy to have gotten herself that bloody.

Ontari's eyes seemed to sparkle seeing Lexa's reaction. Her brown eyes locked almost threateningly on the commander, daring her to look away. She smirked beneath her gory makeup. Smugly.

"You sent for me?" She asked slouching on the spot bored. It reminded Lexa heavily of Roan. He was another that failed to behave in her presence. But unlike Ontari, Roan often earned forgiveness for his rudeness with his actions.

Lexa's eyes flashed at the Azgedian Nightblood, warning her to show respect. Ontari ignored her.

"Yes" Lexa answered her shortly.

She stiffly rose to stand in front of her throne. Every bone and muscle in her body protested but she refused to do this sitting down. To give Ontari the satisfaction of thinking that she was stronger of them because she still stood after battle.

Lexa raised her chin and fixed Ontari with a cool expression, "You have an explanation to give"

Ontari scoffed back at her, "Most people say thank you when their necks get saved"

"Most people don't continually try to unseat their commander" Clarke spat coldly back at her.

Lexa smiled for her lover's outburst. She turned to look down on the irritated blonde.

"It's alright, Clarke. Ontari did help us. She deserves our thanks" Ontari sneered at the blonde behind Lexa's back. Lexa turned around seconds later and took a short step forward to the nightblood, "But she also tried to kill one of us too. And that deserves death"

Ontari's smug smile faded quickly realising what Lexa was saying. She took in the commander's defensive stance in front of her pregnant lover and she read the tense way Lexa glared at her. Like she was being threatened by Ontari and was readying herself for attack.

Ontari looked back and forth between the two Polis leaders, confused. Lexa seemed to stare hard at her, waiting for something. Ontari laughed when she realised Lexa was waiting for a confession.

"I have a history of trying to kill you. It's no lie" She shrugged carelessly.

Behind her Ryder stomped the splintered butt of his spear into the floor in warning. On the throne Clarke's hand twitched towards the gun on her hip. Ontari almost laughed at them both. They didn't scare her.

She locked the commander's eyes and added, "But not today, Lexa. I came only to help"

Lexa's green eyes stared at her coldly and deeply. Ontari knew better than to try to guess what the older nightblood was thinking. Queen Nia had always warned her against it many years ago and she'd had plenty of run ins with Lexa since then to know she was unreadable. But Ontari hoped Lexa believed her. She hoped her belief that Lexa was foolishly honourable would be supported here. Her life literally depended on it right now.

Lexa's eyes narrowed just the slightest watching Ontari stare calmly back at her. She didn't trust her. Something was off. It annoyed her how hard it was to tell if Ontari was lying. Slowly she looked away and to Clarke who was a much better judge of character than she. But even Clarke looked at a loss when she looked angrily at the nightblood through tilted eyes. Lexa looked away before seeing Clarke with her head tipped in deep angry thought could make her heart bang any louder in her ears.

"Then explain why a nightblood was attacked by your man" Lexa demanded cooly.

Ontari immediately shook her head.

"My warriors stayed at my side throughout the battle. We didn't harm any of your students. I promise you"

Clarke scoffed. A promise from somebody who continually tried to kill them was hardly worth anything. The commander had the same belief.

Lexa stared hard at the nightblood. She knew Ontari was an accomplished liar and that she killed friend or foe without any disregard. She was a true testament to Nia's old ways. And by assassinating Aden, Lexa's strongest and best protege, she would have one less competitor when it came to winning the conclave for the flame. But Lexa also knew that Ontari didn't save her enemies. Didn't side with them unless she had a reason. Could she be needing their help? And if so, did that mean she was telling the truth right now?

Lexa turned again to gauge Clarke's opinion when she couldn't tell if Ontari was being honest or not. Clarke looked angry and unconvinced. She shook her head when she caught Lexa's eyes.

"I don't trust her" Clarke whispered to her, "You said that warrior was Azgedian. And Aden is still missing. She'll say anything to-"

"Aden?"

The two women turned their attention back to Ontari. She shrugged at them both.

"We found him before we found you. He was bleeding and struggling to walk" She gave a short amused chuckle, "Clearly he shared the belief that we were here to kill you because he tried to fight us"

"What?!" Clarke gasped covering her mouth with her hand.

Ontari gave her an unusual soft look. One that looked so foreign on the normally cruel Azgedian that it sent chills up Clarke's back. Ontari rolled her eyes to herself knowing that Clarke didn't believe her try at being genuinely nice.

"We didn't attack him" she sighed bored, "He collapsed before he could attempt to strike me down. My warriors took him to safety and then returned to me"

"Where?!" Clarke demanded hotly. She was angry Aden was hurt. She felt the blame was hers there. And she was angry that Ontari had been the one to keep him safe when for so long it had been her and Lexa's job.

Ontari's eyes flickered down to Clarke's left hand that kept twitching closer and closer to her hip. She knew that if she said the wrong thing now then Wanheda would definitely shoot her. Ontari was not afraid to die. She just rather it happened in battle. Not in conversation with the commander and certainly not at the hands of her hot headed hormonal lover.

"In the Flempekas' temple. Here in the tower" she answered honestly, "It was the closest and safest place I could think to send him"

Lexa's heart lifted in hope. The temple was sacred to their people and by law only the Flamekeepers were allowed inside. Nobody would dare anger the gods by taking war inside there. And it was close. Only several levels below their feet. Aden would be safe. He would be alive.

She hoped.

"Bring him to me" she ordered the nightblood.

"Quickly" Clarke added coldly.

Ontari nodded and gave them both a hesitant and very reluctant bow before she turned to shout a warrior into the room. It was enough to halt anything else the two leaders had to say to the nightblood.

Lexa began pacing while the Azgedians whispered. She understood perfectly what they said thanks to having grown up training under Azgedian flamepekas. She knew Ontari was definitely ordering the man to retrieve Aden for her. Still, she couldn't help but mistrust them.

"Ryder will go with you" she spoke up before Ontari's warrior could leave the room to fetch Aden.

The azgedian looked up at her annoyed but one look from Ryder striding forward to him soon settled any arguments he wished to make. He eyed the taller burly man and seemed to decide to accept the companionship.

The two men left the room quickly, leaving behind the three women in a long silence. Ontari grew bored of it quickly. She turned her eyes away from the throne and the two women staring at her, and looked around the room. Her eyes picked over the bodies as if they were flowers in the woods that held no interest to her. She felt no regret or pain at their loss. She simply didn't care. The blood on her skin dribbled and dropped down her body to hit the floor in soft wet splashes and all she could think was what a shame it was to have it staining the floor beyond repair. Ontari has always liked the color of the flooring in this room.

Lexa and Clarke watched the Azgedian nightblood closely as she looked and wandered about the room. They both looked at her in disgust when she uncaringly trod over a fallen warrior, or used her boot to move their face to the side so she could look at it. Lexa felt a cold tremble reverberate down her spine catching the dreamy look Ontari seemed to have as she took in the carnage of her throne room. It looked hungry. It looked nostalgic. Lexa wondered if this was the exact way Ontari had always dreamed her throne room to look. Drowned in blood with her enemy dead at her feet. Lexa could just imagine the sorts of things Ontari was thinking right now. It had her reaching behind her back for the knife she'd placed back inside her belt during the last moments of the battle earlier. She didn't trust Ontari.

Lexa heard the softest of clicks coming from the throne behind her and knew it was a sentiment Clarke shared.

As if sensing the other womens growing' mistrust, Ontari turned with a sigh to stride towards the war maps in the corner. She felt their eyes follow her.

"I have information" she called out behind her. Almost as if she knew Lexa had drawn her knife a couple inches from its sheath. The nightblood's fingers danced along the ridges of the large 3D map, "You might like to hear it before you decide to kill me"

Lexa's fingers slowly loosened on her knife. She knew Ontari was most likely playing her. Trying to keep herself alive. She would too if their positions were reversed. But she couldn't help but be intrigued.

"What information?" She asked, frowning when movement caught her eye.

Lexa looked down and, just ever so slightly amused, gently lowered Clarke's gun that had at some point risen to track Ontari's wander of the room. She gave her lover a look to be patient and then she started heading towards the other nightblood.

Ontari smirked to herself hearing footsteps quietly approach behind her. She'd known Lexa wouldn't resist. She dragged her finger up the spine of the old mountain that had made Clarke oh so famous among their people. She vaguely wondered why it was still present on the map in the first place. Maybe it was to commemorate Wanheda's rise. Or the pathetic sky girl kept it out of guilt.

Ontari scratched her nails against the painted wood, staining it with the blood on her hand. There, that was much better. At least now it looked like the real mountain.

"Ontari," Lexa growled impatiently, "What information?"

The Azgedian looked to find her commander stood before her on the opposite side of the table. She grinned wickedly.

"You have enemies living among you, Lexa. Friends that aren't friends. Spies. You speak with them. Hunt with them. Train them" Ontari's smile grew when she glanced behind Lexa at Clarke, "Maybe even sleep with them..."

Lexa had been walking around the table when her impatience hit her sudden anger and she reached out to grab Ontari by her bloody jacket. The Azgedian let her with laughing eyes. She carried on speaking while Lexa's grip on her tightened. Behind them Clarke scrambled up off the throne.

"You share your every move with these people. And they go straight to him with it. Now tell me, doesn't a real commander have loyal subjects?"

"A real commander doesn't have subjects at all. Queens do" Clarke answered coming forward with her gun in her hand. She raised her wrist a fraction. Not enough to raise the weapon to shoot but enough to say she wasn't going to hesitate using it if needed, "Enough of the drama, Ontari. Stop talking in riddles and tell us what you know already"

Ontari looked down at Lexa's hands on her jacket. Reluctantly the commander removed them and let the girl free.

Ontari turned confidently on the spot and returned to her position at the maps. She crouched to look at it from eye level. It was impressive. Lexa had a very detailed layout of her entire territory, and some. She reached out and collected the small Delphikru banner that had been placed in what she guessed had been a rather uneducated assumption of where the enemy had been hiding. Ontari felt the other women watching, and deliberately slowed her hand as it moved to reposition the banner piece.

"I know where Sev is" She shared calmly. She could feel the disbelief and hope coming off the the other two. Her nose wrinkled like she could smell it too, "And I know where he's going to be and what he's going to do next"

"How?" Clarke questioned walking to the table to study the map herself. Lexa joined her.

Ontari stood and smirked at them studying the map and where her hands moved over it, "Because I was with his army for a while" She shrugged when their eyes snapped up to her, "He thought we were mercenaries. Come to fight just to fight. And we Azgedians are the best fighters" Ontari smirked when Clarke rolled her eyes, "He was very stupid to have accepted us"

"Why did you join him?" Lexa asked not understanding Ontari's motive. If she hadn't wanted to be on Sev's side, then why fight at all?

Ontari didn't answer.

"You don't want him taking the throne..."

Ontari's eyes snapped to the blonde who was looking at her too closely. For the first time she began to understand what her people meant when they said Wanheda had the power to see through you. It made her fidget just a little. Annoyingly, Clarke seemed to read volumes from it.

"You're afraid he might actually do what you can't. Kill Lexa and take the throne"

Ontari clenched her jaw,"I'm not afraid of anything" she spat at the blonde and turned to speak with Lexa, "You are running out of friends, Lexa. Igranronkru, Blue Cliff. Delphikru's armies are growing every day when they abandon you. And you sit here expecting their loyalty to save you?" Ontari smirked and shook her head, "This is not something that can be dealt with using Skai-tek. That little magician of theirs can't build you weapons enough to simply wipe out the problem. And when Skaikru abandon you next, then what? What will your plan be?"

Clarke quickly strode around the table to face off to the Azgedian. She was furious that Ontari would make the assumption of her people abandoning them. She knew them best. She knew Lexa had their complete support. Ontari was just spitting her poison. Trying to turn Lexa against her own people. It was all a trick and Clarke knew it.

"My people don't abandon their leader when things get tough" she slowly growled and pulled her arm away from Lexa's grip trying to calm her down. Her anger bubbled hotter seeing Ontari slyly smirk at her, "You might come from a heathen people. But I don't. I will stay by Lexa and my people will stay by me"

Ontari's smirk grew like she knew better, and it made Lexa instantly worry if they did have defectors in Skaikru's camp. Her memory whizzed with what Raven had told her about somebody telling Sev about all their plans. It would have had to have been somebody who had known what they were talking about when they were relaying the information to him. She would need to investigate it. Away from Clarke. Lexa's heart dropped while she stared at her princess still laying into the Azgedian. She didn't want to have to go back to all the lies again.

"And what's more-"

Ontari raised her hand to shush the blonde. She'd lost interest in anything Clarke had to say. She looked to the commander who had been watching on silently with a worried stare locked on Clarke's back. Ontari had never seen fear in Lexa's eyes before. It intrigued her, and scared her. But she saw here an opportunity to be rid of the annoying sky girl.

"Lexa, perhaps Wanheda should rest?" She suggested, knowing from the look on Lexa's face that she wanted Clarke to calm down. But Ontari just couldn't resist pushing the blonde a little further first, "It has been a long day and she's saying things she'll later regret"

Clarke opened her mouth to rage at the other woman but Lexa's hand on her back stopped her. She looked up at Lexa and quickly shook her head knowing that look to leave that Lexa was giving her.

Lexa's hand fell from Clarke's back with her silent sigh of defeat when she folded her arms and refused to leave the room. She moved away and tapped the war map impatiently.

"Tell me everything" She ordered the Azgedian, who'd been watching their exchange with an intense sort of amusement.

Ontari crossed her arms, "And what do I get if I do?"

Clarke scoffed. Lexa simply stared, waiting. Ontari rolled her eyes.

"I'll tell you all I know but first you promise me that I and my warriors won't be attacked or treated any differently than any other warrior in this city. By you or your people"

"Concerned for yourself?" Clarke bitterly spat as she reached past Lexa for the hand radio beside her. She needed to call her people and check in on them. She was worried for their long silence.

Ontari looked honestly into Lexa's eyes.

"I'm concerned only for my people. They're good warriors" she spoke softly, proudly, "They don't deserve to be killed for something you both hold against me"

The commander and her blonde paused to stare at the younger woman in front of them. They could both tell, despite wishing otherwise, that Ontari was being completely genuine. It made them both think maybe they had been wrong about her. Briefly.

The radio crackled in Clarke's hand and Raven's voice called through it for her.

"I've got to take this" The blonde muttered.

She turned to Lexa and touched her wrist before she moved to leave the throne room. Her expression warned Lexa to be careful. To not trust Ontari.

Lexa had nodded in agreement and smiled when Clarke squeezed her wrist before leaving.

Ontari was still waiting for her answer when she turned back to face her. Lexa swallowed the desire to refuse.

"I'll grant your people immunity" Lexa agreed easily, "But," She strode forward slowly, threateningly, until she was looking down at Ontari and softly growling a threat in her face, "You are not immune. Anything that happens as a consequence of your information, anything that endangers my people, you will pay for it. With your life. No hesitation"

Lexa held her arm out to the other woman. That was the best deal she would give and she thought it more than fair given the circumstance. Ontari looked down the commander's arm and, just as Lexa told herself that the Azgedian would never agree to her terms, Ontari strongly clasped her arm.

The two locked eyes and Ontari smirked.

"I can't wait for your apology" She grinned smugly.

Lexa scoffed to herself.

And I can't wait to cut that smile off your face, she thought, fighting the urge to reach for her knife and be done with Ontari already.

Lexa turned her back on Ontari's happy grin to shout a guard into the room. She gave him a brisk order and then sent him away to carry it out. She stole a deep calming breath before she turned back to the other nightblood so she could listen to everything Ontari had to say. In her head she kept repeating one of Titus' old mantras about patience. It was the only way she could think of to keep herself steady enough to hear what the Azgedian had to say.

Ontari simply carried on smiling when Lexa turned back to her. She could see how hard this must be for Lexa, to trust her enough to hear her out. The harsh and curt way she'd spoken to her warrior and now the look on the commander's face said it all. She could see that Lexa was at the end of her tether today. And surprisingly Ontari found herself empathising with her fellow nightblood. So instead of teasing Lexa and pushing her too far, Ontari instead decided to work with her for once.

For nearly an hour they walked circles around Lexa's map, discussing plans and arguing over everything. Locations, information, other clan involvement. Lexa was surprised by just how much Ontari did know. And it made her even more paranoid of her. Because how could she know so much if she wasn't working with the enemy? Simple hired mercenaries never gained this much knowledge unless they worked personally at their employer's side. Had Ontari been Sev's right hand then? It made Lexa's skin itch and her fingers twitch with Ontari's every step around the table.

For her part Ontari remained calm while she spoke. She could sense Lexa's mistrust of her, and really she didn't blame her. She would act the same way. But the continued second guessing her intel did annoy her. Every new turn of conversation, from intel to options, brought forward another time for them to butt heads. It frustrated them both so much that they were both half relieved to see one of Lexa's guards enter the room with a body on his shoulder. Ontari watched with curious eyes as he threw it to the ground.

"Who is it?" Lexa asked her without looking up from her map.

Ontari strode forward to the body and pushed it to its back with her foot. She tilted her head at the scars on his face and then moved her eyes down to his clothes. Lexa listened hard as the nightblood rolled the body again, this time to its front.

"They look like Azgeda scars" She started, trying to get Ontari's answer already.

"They're fresh" The Azgedian answered back, "Made within the last few months so you would believe he was one of us" A ripping noise made Lexa turn. Ontari had a knife in her hand and was cutting the man's shirt open. She pointed at the scar beneath it, "This is Sev's mark"

Lexa moved to kneel beside the other nightblood. She felt anger flush through her staring at the body of the man that she'd watch attack Aden so brutally. She glanced at the red mark Ontari's finger rested on and reached out to peeled his shirt back further. She stared at the mark. It looked fresh, only a day or so old. The skin around it was still melted and healing. Branding, Lexa had never approved of it. She took in the strokes and curves of the brand. It looked like a skull of a bird inside a triangle. She looked down further on the man's back at his lifetime of kill marks and a tattoo linking him with Delphikru. Ontari wasn't lying then.

"Why was he dressed as an Azgedian?" She thought aloud to herself.

"Isn't it obvious?" Ontari chuckled shaking her head, "He wanted you to believe Roan had betrayed you. So that you'd attack Azgeda and be surrounded by war. It would make it easier to catch you off guard and kill you" Ontari stared down at the dead man thoughtfully, "Its what I would do".

Lexa glanced up at her. She didn't disbelieve her at all. But she did think maybe Sev had been given the idea of making the commander paranoid enough to start attacking her own allies. It made her mistrust of Ontari spike again.

The commander stood and ordered the body be taken away. She returned to her map and ordered Ontari to continue with her intel. Another hour of messengers and orders and plans dragged by before Clarke re-entered the room with a tired looking Raven limping along at her side.

"I'm telling you, Clarke, those guns were working perfectly yesterday" Raven was saying as she hobbled into the room with a worried looking Clarke, "Somebody tampered with them before the battle"

Lexa's ears pricked up for a moment listening to the women talk as they neared her. Clarke seemed to want to keep whatever they were discussing private because she stopped Raven short of the war table to whisper with her. Lexa couldn't hear what was said but she trusted that Clarke would tell her later.

The blonde turned after receiving an agreeing nod from her friend to be quiet on the matter for now, and continued on towards Lexa.

"We have bad-.." Clarke broke off as her eyes took in the new placements on the war map. They darted up to Lexa's back and then to Ontari and back again.

"This looks cosy" Raven muttered to herself.

Clarke walked another step forward when Lexa turned to her. Her eyes searched Lexa's green ones, "What's going on?"

Ontari smirked while Lexa let out a long breath. She'd been dreading this moment.

Staggered footsteps clicked hastily into the room saving Lexa from answering her lover, "Heda, you sent for me?"

Gaia's usually gentle voice seemed to boom through the strong silence as she entered the room behind the two Sky girls. She limped to a stop at Clarke's side and gave her Heda the same questioning look Clarke had when she took in what was happening.

Lexa turned away from them all and leant forward against the war table. Her hands pressed hard into the stained chipped wood, her nails dug into the soft ridges of Delphikru's borders. She stared down at them hard.

"Is somebody going to share the big secret here, or...?"

Lexa rolled her eyes at Raven's ever present need to break the tension and be sarcastic. She rolled her shoulders and reached across the table for her knife. She stared at the blood staining it then held it tight and angry in her palm. She hated the following silence. It felt heavy. Everybody was looking to her to tell them. To take their hope that this battle had been the end of it all, and crush it.

"Ontari?"

Clarke's plea for an answer to her most hated enemy made Lexa look up. She stabbed her knife into the Delphikru insignia on the map in front of her before she stiffly turned to face her worried lover. Her eyes ran across the three women looking to her for an explanation. She drew a deep breath.

"We're going to war" She told them coldly. The words tasted bitter in her mouth. She loathed to say them aloud.

Raven scoffed, "Thought we were already there"

Gaia threw her a scolding look and stepped forward to ask when. Clarke's blue eyes had locked Lexa's, knowing the answer already and begging for it to be a joke. Lexa couldn't say it was. Couldn't break Clarke's heart that way.

Thankfully, Ontari was only more than happy to.

"Tomorrow" she said a little too cheerfully.

The entire room was silent. Looks of surprise, shock, and utter disbelief were thrown about the women. All of which ended up eventually on Lexa, who made herself stand still and take such looks from them all. The one from her Fleimpeka and Raven mean nothing to her. They were her advisors and to some extent her friends. But their opinion wasn't important. It held no sway in Lexa's choice. But Clarke's look, and Clarke's opinion, and Clarke's hurt and scared plea for another way; that had the power to kill Lexa.

The blonde strode forward and stood a breath away from her lover. She looked Lexa fiercely in the eye and she swallowed thickly before she breathed a, "Please", at her. She wanted to know why. She wanted to know how Ontari had convinced Lexa into such a reckless decision in such a short space of time. And she wanted to know why Lexa let her, without Clarke.

Lexa had to turn away from her. She couldn't stand that broken look on Clarke's face.

Different footsteps trod softly after her, "Heda," It was Gaia, come to try to persuade her against this decision, "Heda, I do not think it wise to march after Delphikru"

"Why not?" Ontari asked before Lexa could answer. She folded her arms over her chest and looking meanly at the flame keeper, "Delphikru are weak right now. And we know where they are right now. We should attack while we hold the upper hand"

"From your information I assume?" Raven barbed beneath her breath. It just made Ontari smirk wider.

"We do not hold any hand. Just because we had them beat today does not mean that they have not planned for this!" Gaia spat back at her. She didn't trust the nightblood and she made it clear in the way she glared at the ice warrior to stay silent, "It could easily be a trap" She warned gravely.

Ontari just scoffed at her. She'd almost forgotten how soft these people were. They spent too long locked away in their towers hiding from their enemies that they'd forgotten what it meant to be a warrior. To fight when necessary.

"You just escaped a botched plan of a trap" Ontari told the fleimpeka, "Do you honestly believe their leader is smart enough to make another? He'd have more luck waiting for you all to choke to death on your evening meals tonight"

"Are you seriously that arrogant?" Raven asked back in genuine curiosity.

Lexa closed her eyes to the argument that followed. She'd become too used to warriors shouting around her lately. What was once words of wisdom that she'd prized had become bitter words of hatred spat between them all. It was like being surrounded by children all the time and she was more than sick of it.

The commander looked down at the blood on her hands and breathed calmly to herself. This was the right choice. It had to be. It was the only way she could think of to save her people. There was nothing else. So why did she feel so guilty and unsure?

She continued breathing slowly and counted every stitch Clarke had sown into her palm, and every droplet of blood seeping out of them. Over and over. It was the only way to stop herself yelling at the women behind her to be silent.

"Enough!" Gaia burst furiously at the antagonising Azgedian. She back turned to her commander, "Heda, as your fleimpeka I must strongly advise you against going after Delphikru"

"And as your war commander... I... Uh..." Raven lowered her hand and took back the brave step forward she'd taken after the flame keeper to add her opinion when everybody's eyes turn to her. She nervously looked around at them all and then ducked her head, "Ditto?"

Lexa rolled her eyes. Clarke did too. She turned to back her lover and took a firm hold of her hand. It hurt and made Lexa's wound bleed some more. But neither woman cared. Lexa let herself be walked her up past her throne and out onto the balcony. Her eyes swept quickly over her city. Over the smoke from the fires still waiting to be out out. Over the red smudges and little black dots marking the bodies laying on the ground many metres below. Her heart thudded angrily in her chest. But she was too tired to let the emotion hold her long. Her gaze instead moved over and up to the sun setting low and dark ahead of them. Its dark orange glow flared like blood through the wispy clouds. It was beautiful, she thought, and depressing.

Clarke let go of Lexa's hand. She walked to the wall of the balcony. Unlike Lexa she did look down at it all. At their city, their home. All the destruction made her sad. All the death made her angry. She wanted to scream because what did any of them do to deserve this?

She didn't scream. Clarke closed her tired eyes and took a long deep breath. Her baby gently nudged her rib as she did, and she took it as a sign of comfort. It stilled the chaotic swash of emotions for a second.

"What happened to together?" She husked finally opening her eyes. She watched the sun going down while Lexa closed the space between them. Her heda's body brushing her back usually a comfort now filled her with dread. Because Clarke knew what Lexa was going to tell her.

"Clarke, look around. Look at all of this death. Do you expect me to let it go?"

Clarke shook her head, "I expect you to know better, Lexa" Clarke turned to look up at her lover. She gently pressed her palms to Lexa's chest, "You know that he came here because he was testing us. Sev wanted to know how we work together. How easy it is to break us apart. If you go out there, take the battle to him where he's probably prepared?" Clarke shook her head and turned away, "All this death here is just the start"

Lexa reached out and slowly turned Clarke back to her. She looked down at her blonde with hard hurting eyes.

"I can't just stand here and wait for Sev to bring his armies back. I can't wait for more of my krus to abandon me, Clarke, It will make me look weak. It will say to them all that Heda cannot protect us. And then there will be a real war that nobody will win. This is the only way"

Clarke began shaking her head, "Its not the only way"

Lexa let out an impatient huff and moved away from the stubborn blonde, "What would you have me do?!" she snapped angrily, "This needs to end. I have to end it"

"Marching off to war isn't how you end things. Its how you get yourself killed!" Clarke shouted back at her.

The heaviness of her words catches like fire in her throat and it gets her heart beating manically. Clarke span around and muffled her instant crying while Lexa watched on in shock. The commander's fierce facade breaks the moment she sees the blonde crying. She rushed forward and wrapped her arms around her lover. She held her tightly and kissed her temple.

"I am not going to die, Clarke" she husked strongly in the blonde's ear. She tightened her hold on Clarke when she started to tremble in her arms, "I'm going to find him and I'm going to kill him and end all of this. Then I will come home to you"

Clarke froze up in Lexa's arms. She turned and stared up at the commander. She started shaking her head when she realised what Lexa intended to do, and without her.

"You can't" she whimpered holding tight to Lexa's neck, "I can't let you go alone"

"I won't be alone. I've already sent out messengers to our allies. My armies are coming" Lexa reassured her and kissed her brow, "But I cannot take you with me, Clarke. I need somebody I can trust to watch over Polis. That's you. You're the only one"

Clarke shook her head, "Lexa-"

"I need to know you'll be safe. Both of you" Lexa's hand crept up over Clarke's armour. Her fingers pressed into the warmth radiating through the cracks in the torn leather. Her lips lifted feeling a bump under her digit, "You have to stay here so I have something to come back for"

Clarke stared up at the Lexa. She doesn't want to. She doesn't want to tell Lexa she'll stay behind while her whole world goes off to war. But Lexa needs her to. She's far too determined to see this through and Clarke knew nothing she can say will change her mind. She looked down and closed her eyes. She felt Lexa wipe a tear from her cheek. Heard the shaky breaths leave her lover. She knew Lexa didn't want any of this. Not really. But sometimes they did things they didn't want to.

"Sometimes we have to fight" She whispered to herself. Her mind went back to the night Lexa had whispered it to her. In the war tent at the Borderlands during their last war. Hours before they had to separate and lead different armies into attack. She'd begged Lexa to stay with her then too.

Clarke opened her eyes and stared at a bloodstain on Lexa's shirt. She started picking at it absentmindedly, "Why can't we talk with Sev? Why is it always blood?"

The commander's hands rubbed comfortingly along her arms. She breathed deeply and nodded into a half collapse against Clarke's neck. Her body was too tired to keep a strong stance any longer. And with Clarke she knew she didn't need to pretend she could.

"Sometimes its not enough" she replied in a soft tired voice, "Sometimes we don't want words or promises. They can be broken and thrown aside. Sometimes the only way to make it lasting, to ensure peace, is to show we mean it. With weapons and strength and-"

"Blood" Clarke finished numbly.

Lexa sighed exhausted. She nodded and turned her eyes from her upset lover to the sun on its last dip on the horizon ahead. It was beautiful. And especially when it was reflected in Clarke's eyes when she looked up at her. Lexa dipped her head and kissed her lover softly. When she breathed against Clarke's lips she felt a little energy come back to her, like life had been breathed back into her body. She wondered as they kissed just how many more sunsets she would see. She was not foolish enough to believe she would come back from this war. She was hopeful but Sev had already shown some of his strength, and it was worrying. Especially when he had the ability to make her clans turn against her. Lexa could only hope that by stopping him now, she would ensure peace for her people.

Lexa moved back and kissed clarke's brow and held her gently against her chest. Her heart thudded slowly against the blonde's ear while she took in the light dying around them. She questioned herself why they did it, over and over and over again. Sometimes she believed it would be easier for them to just turn their backs on it all. To run away and start over hundreds of miles away from Polis and anybody that knew them. It was a tempting dream, and one she'd had on so many occasions. But that wasn't who she or Clarke were. They didn't abandon their people. But sometimes it was nice to dream.

"When do you plan on leaving?" Clarke's voice broke halfway through the question. She knew from the way Lexa had kissed her and was now was holding her that it would be soon. Soon she would go and soon she might not return. Soon was too soon for Clarke.

Lexa was silent for the longest time. The world around them had grown dark. The cries of anguish and loss far below had quietened down. Their people had stopped attempting to fix the city for the night. Even the voices of the women in the throne room behind them had gone quiet. There was nothing but silence. Calm, heavy, exhausting silence.

Until Lexa's arms tightened to the point of pain around Clarke and her breathing got heavy in the blonde's ear. Clarke could almost mistake it for pain.

"First light" Lexa miserably breathed.

Clarke closed her eyes and breathed calmly as a single hot tear dripped down her face. She nodded after a while. And looked up at the stars above them. She had a brief thought to how nice it'd be to be up there still, away from all the fighting. She wondered if their lives would be easier if she and Lexa lived in space and not on the ground where they had to continually fight for their survival and their peace. She thought bitterly how maybe she'd taken life up on the Ark for granted before.

"First light" she agreed reluctantly.

Lexa's head leant heavy against her own. She held the commander's arm as it constricted gently around her shoulders. Lexa felt like she was collapsing against Clarke but Clarke held the extra weight anyway. Lexa didn't want to leave her, and Clarke knew that. She could feel it completely. Neither of them wanted to leave each other to the uncertainty of war. But both knew they had to.

"Sometimes we have to fight" She sighed.


End file.
